How I Met Her Mother
by Ohsoclever1
Summary: Spencer wants to be honest with her mother, but she just doesn't know how. Imagine trying to tell your homophobic mother about your girlfriend while dealing with the stress of the holidays and the death of a family member. Can Spashley hold on to each other or will they lose everything while trying to hold on to a secret? Romance/Humor/Drama/Hurt/Comfort/Family.
1. Tis the Beginning

**Rating: **the story is** rated T,** with the exception of afew** M Rated scenes. Views discretion is advice  
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**A:N/ **Hello beautiful readers: This is my first fic but not my first source of writing and won't be my last fic. I plan to get the updates to you rapidly. I will finish this story so don't worry about me leaving it incomplete. Enjoy!  
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Disclaimer:** I do not own "South of Nowhere" just my creativity and making Ash and Spence even more awesome than they already are.

* * *

How I met Her Mother

Tis the Beginning

*Ashley*

It was noon of Christmas and all through the house everything was stringing even the mouse as he tucked his cheese in his suit case and ran for the door.

"I'll never stay with lesbians again" he swore

"Where can I take the next train to gay men's land?"

"They don't fuss"

"They don't fight"

"They have sex all night"

"And no worries of parents and dare not mention in laws"

"Ash."placing my pen down on the pad I was writing on I turn around to the heavenly voice that called my name and laid my sights on my beautiful mess of a girlfriend, who's staring at me with tired eyes that expressed a mixture of frustration and annoyance. Taken my bottom lip into my mouth and slowly biting down on it because I knew it would lighten the mood since it's her weakness.

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face and made its way up to her ocean blue eyes as she shook her head that moved her unruly sandy blonde hair from side to side."What am I going to do with you?" She asks

I showed off my award winning nose crinkling smile that I knew would make her weak in the knees. "Well I know a few things" I replied.

"Is one of those things involve you to stop doodling in your note book and help me." she questions as she continue running around the kitchen going through cabinets and drawers, but gabbing nothing in the process.

I walked behind her and pulled her back against my front as I slowly whisper in her ear "first and foremost I don't doodle, I write." "And second your mom won't be here for another three hours so calm-"

"Three hours!" she shouts while releasing herself from me and now we're face to face as she puts her hands in the air."Three hours is not enough time, everything has to be perfect Ash" She stops and even though she's facing me she's not speaking to me she's projecting her inner thoughts to every inch of the room letting them fall where they may.

"I know babe –"

"No you don't...this is the first Christmas my mom doesn't have my dad with her". She looks down at her hands that have suddenly become interesting.

I place my hands on her shoulders to try to comfort her. I hear her sniffling and I know she's trying to fight back tears.

"It's been a year since my dad died of cancer and him and my mom has spent Christmas together every year in the Bahamas since I went away to college eight years ago... and I just want it to be perfect". She finally looks up at me giving me a weak smile.

"Babe it will be great I'm sure." I say trying to convince myself more than her.

"I hope so." she replies barely audible as she walks over to the kitchen drawers pulling out silverware.

I walk back over to my note pad and sit down.

"Ash." she calls a bit hesitant.

"Hmmm…" I look up and wait for her reply.

She lets out a heavy sigh. "my mom can't know about us."

"I know." I say looking back down at my writing and this time I am doodling, which is something I do when I get emotional to the point of no words. It made me terribly sad that Spence didn't want her mother to know about us; even though, she had a good reason, which she has told me every day since the beginning of the year until today.

"Baby it's just that she's dealing with my dad's death and I don't want to cause her to go into a nervous breakdown because of any new surprises."

Spence was a psychology major and whenever she got overwhelm she knew the right term, phrase, or diagnosis to justify her feelings, if they were right or wrong. I looked up at her and let pools of honey chocolate melted into seas of sparking blues."Babe do you ever think you use psychology as a scapegoat" I asked her with a small smile not wanting to upset her more, but really wanting to know the answer.

She holds her heart and breaths out "Ashley, I would never" and leaves her mouth gap open for dramatic pause.

I shake my head feeling my chocolate locks glide across my face. As I chuckle at how cute my girl is. I walk back over to her giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze and watch her do her adorable head tilt. "Spence why don't you freshen up and I'll finish in here." I say while removing the silverware from her clenched fists.

She takes a long look around our cozy apartment and finally stops her eye rambling on our dark red wooden kitchen table that's covered with a cream handmade table cloth that her mother used every Christmas until Spence went off to USC for one of the best psychology schools in the state. She turns those beautiful eyes back to me and says. "Ash you don't know how to cook," leaving her lips in the shape of the last letter of the word.

I let go of her shoulders to place my hands on my stomach as I throw my head back to let out a hardy laugh until I can't breathe and have to bend over trying to catch my breath. Once I get a hold of myself and whip the tears from the corner of my eyes from laughing so hard. I look at my girl whose eyes are squinted giving me the most unamused look she could muster up.I place my hands back on her shoulders "babe I don't mean to laugh, but you cooked everything and all I have to do is finish setting up."

"And why is that so funny" she ask through gritted teeth.

I scratch the back of my neck and shrug "Well because your such a worry wart."

She rolls those radiant eyes, sucks her pearly white teeth, folds her perfectly toned arms, and pokes out her delicious lips to give an adorable pout, which I kiss away.

"Babe you and your brat combo…I love it." I breathe out through my giggle while trying to slow down my heart rate. Even after all this time she can makes my heart feel as if it's going to bust right out of my chest. I always tell her that she should have become a heart doctor instead of a head doctor because she is going to be the reason for me having a heart attack in my late twenties. I give those addictive lips another kiss. "babe get ready your mom will be here in two hours and forty five minutes." All I can hear now are foot steps against our wooden floor and then the bathroom door slam.

* * *

Twenty minutes later I see the second most beautiful sight since I laid eyes on her this morning. And instead of unruly hair it's now drenched and showing off its natural waves as she clutches her towel. It's clear that she's doing a once over of the entire apartment making sure everything is in its place, because she can't make her next move until everything is perfect. She finally finishes her eye ramble and lands her eyes on me as she licks her lips in approval.

I walk up to her replacing her hands with mine as I am now clutching the towel and start to pull her near me. I aggressively kiss her on the lips as her right hand grips a hand full of my hair. She pulls me back and I feel the cool wooden floor against my back as her naked body is on top of me while the towel floats above her wet skin. Her lower half is in-between my thighs as her bare breast are pressed against mine and I am upset at my shirt that's in the way of our skin touching. I devourer her lips while taking them one at a time into my mouth then nibbling on them. I feel wetness of my own from my center dripping down my thighs. The kiss deepens and I find it hard to catch my breath or hear anything besides the pounding of my heart inside my ears. I am pulling on her lips with my teeth and she is tugging on my hair and as soon as it gets unbearably hot that has nothing to do with the temperature my lips are left cold. I open my eyes to see her sexy ass bounce away from me to answer her phone.

I slap my forehead hard and yell out "fuck"! For one we were interrupted and for two I slap myself a bit too hard.

Spence spins around to face me causing the water from her hair to rain on me as she places her index finger to her lips. "Shhh."

I cross my arms and now it's my turn to pout and she walks over and kneels down to kiss it away. When she stands back up I stare up at all her glory that's shadowing over me and then stare over to the towel that has been disregarded since the phone rang.

after a few minutes she hangs up and raises an eye brow while she looks at me still lying on the floor. I lift up while rolling my eyes because I know she's about to give me a lecture.

"Profanity is an ignorant mind trying to express itself, so say what you mean and mean what you say. Because curse words are filler words and you're too creative to need them." we both end at the same time. I know this speech by heart because it's the first thing she said to me when we first met.

_3 years earlier_

_sipping on my vanilla chai latte with mint and hazelnut I froze in mid sip causing myself to burn my lip in the process. Which made me move the cup without lifting it up causing the delicious hot liquid to spill on my hand, new American Eagle black skinny jeans, and Steve Madden red open toe suede boots and thank God! it missed my silk Prada leopard print blouse. This unfortunate mishap caused me to stand up and screamed "shit"! That echoed through the cafe. The waitress hurried around the counter wiping up the little bit of liquid that managed to miss me and hit the marble gray floor. _

_Once I cooled down literary from the spill on my hand, pants, and shoes I went to draw my attending back to the cause of hazard and there she was… Only inches away from my face staring back at me. I was lost in beautiful eyes and watched her cotton candy pink colored lips move as I imagined them in-between my teeth. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear anything she said."Excuse me" I asked her disoriented._

_I said "profanity is an ignorant mind trying to express itself, so say what you mean and mean what you say. Because Curse words are filler words and you're too creative to need them" she replied with a straight face._

_I smirked and didn't know if I should be offend or impressed that a woman who barely knew me was telling me what to do with my mouth. I raised my right brow and pushed out my lips before taking the bottom one into my mouth. _"_How do you know if I'm creative"? that's all I had.I mentally shrug as I was pleasantly taking out my thoughts by my body floating on the melody of the most beautiful giggle I ever heard._

"_We'll I don't... but seeing the guitar on your back I assumed." she finish her sentence with the look of confidence in her eyes._

_I started to do a inward happy dance as I knew I could impress or offend her with the comeback that was stirring in my head. I sat up straight and position myself in the stool I was sitting in and smirk proudly as I replied. _"_Assuming makes and ass out of me and you."_

_she tilted her head and licked her lips as if she was pleased because a smile stretched across her face showing off those gorgeous pearly whites."We assume every day. We assume when walking across the street on a green light that we won't get ran down. We assume that we can drive our cars and not get into an accident. "We assume that every night when we close our eyes to go to sleep." she gets even closer to me and continues. "That no one will break into our homes to rape or kill us. Or more commonly we assume that we will wake up the next day to assume all over again." She give me a sly smirk before finishing. "Assuming isn't wrong unless your assumption is wrong, so tell me am I wrong"?_

_All I could do was shake my head 'No' because this woman had me at a loss for words since I laid eyes on her._

_She backs away brushing a blonde strand of her hair behind her ear and licks her lips again. _

_And I had to cross my legs as tight as I could to try to avoid the throbbing feeling I was getting between my second pair of lips as my clit grew from excitement._

_"Why don't you show me." she says in a low husky voice._

"_Huh." I asked surprised because all I could hear since watching her licking her lips were my hormones. _

_I said "why don't you show me how creative you are." She repeats herself._

_With no hesitation I stood up and walked to the stage. From that moment I knew that the dazzling blonde had a way of making me move and she still does._

_I waved the host off and grab the mic to introduce myself. "Hello Egocentric, my name is Ashley Davies and this song is for the most beautiful woman in the cafe." I looked over to blonde and watch her cheeks turn the brightest shade of red and for the first time since we met she deprived me of her eyes to look down at the marble floor. My heart protested because I missed her sparking blues already and she most have heard my heart's call because she looked up still flustered. I strummed the guitar and let out a light giggle. "Seriously, those who know me know that I am not a musician. I am holding the guitar for a friend, but I am a poet so." I take the guitar off from over my shoulder and neck and place it to the side and grip the mic as I keep my eyes on the blonde. It was my turn to impress her the only way I knew how... threw poetry._

"_Hello Blue, can I call you blue?_

_Never got your name but I caught your eyes as you stole my stare that will for now on belong to you_

_I watched as ocean blues melted and spilled and crawled towards me and I knew if I didn't move they would drown me, but I was willing to take the risk as long as I could be a part of you…even if it was temporary"_

"_Hello blue, how can this be wrong when heaven is hiding somewhere under blue too?_

_I know we don't know each other and that's cool because I know blue_

_Can I get to know the person that these blue eyes are attached too?"_

_At the end of the poem she licked those beautiful pink lips once again._

_Which makes my clit try to tear from my body and run and jump into her mouth. Walking back over to her she says._

_"I see my assumption didn't make neither of us look foolish, even though you're not a musician you are indeed creative."_

_I giggle as I thought to myself this girl must really don't cuss since she said foolish and not an ass and here we are three years later and I haven't heard a cuss word yet, not even during mind blowing sex. I shook my head at the thought._

_Christmas present_

"Baby, helloooo." Spence drags out

"Huh." I quickly replied half mentally alert.

"Where did you go just now." she asks with a smile playing on her lips.

"I was just thinking about your... oh so constructive criticism on my mouth." I say with a teasing smirk.

"Baby you know I'm a fan of your mouth for other things." She replies with a smile in her eyes.

And I had to wipe the excess saliva from my mouth that has made its way after that comment. Plus it's hard to not drool while looking at her naked body with pebbles of water lying on her nipples and second pair of lips."Babe." I walked up to her with lust in my eyes that have increased a shade or two darker than their original tint.

She stops me inches from her with the palm of her hand."Baby, I have to finish getting ready that was my mom on the phone."

I roll my eyes and smack my lips as I mumbled. "right… the phone."

"Yes, that was my mom on the phone saying she'll be here thirty minutes ahead of schedule." With that she walks off leaving me to drown in the thoughts of sex past and sex not being had. I sat on the stool and pouted with no her to kiss it away.

* * *

Another twenty minutes pass and my beautiful girl walks out of the room with her hair pulled back into a bun that I instantly think of destroying by yanking her hair back and devourer her lips as if they were my last meal.

"Don't give me that look." she says as she places her grandmothers small pearls to go on her neck with matching ear rings to compliment her blue dress and four inch pumps.

"Look at you like what." I say with a smirk.

Like you can see me naked" she says with a knowing smile playing her lips and flirtation twinkling in her eyes.

She starts to walk over to me while the scent of her Shea butter cream, vanilla shower gel, and mint shampoo brushes against my nose and I Inhale all of her. Spence always remind me of a mobile chai latte.

"Baby you need to make sure your room look like you actually sleep in it." she demands taking me out of my daze and replacing the flirtation in her eyes with anxiety.

I grab her hand gently, lean it to my lips, and kiss it as I try to ease her nervous because she worries from dust to dawn.

"My bed is made up and I even put clothes and shoes in the closet, oh and threw some pictures on the wall to make it look more believable." I tell her as she places her forehead on mine, giving me a chance to smell her more.

"So." I drug out a little as I take in my bottom lip and nibble on it.

"No." she snaps a little as she walks away and straightening the silk gold table mates that didn't need to be straightening under the white plates with gold trimming.

"Babe." I whine and she knows what I want.

"Baby my mom will be here in an hour and twenty minutes." She pleads in hopes that I'll let it go.

"Then we shouldn't have wasted fifteen minutes with you fighting the inevitable and besides that's more than enough time for a quickie." I assure as I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her up close to my body so our chest are touching as she wraps her legs around my waist.

* * *

An hour and a half later she's running out the bedroom...yeah, I went over the time and it still wasn't enough time for me honestly. She's trying to fix her hair and dress while looking for her phone as she stumbles around with one heel on trying to put on the other.

"Babe you need to stop to get the heel on." I say with a laugh as she finally stops and gives me that annoyed frustrated look that I adore so much.

"Ash, why aren't you helping me find my phone." she snaps at me as if I am the reason she misplaced it.

I myself don't have to worry about getting dress since I spent our quickie pleasing her with multiple organisms. I whip the corner of my mouth with my index finger and thumb then lick both fingers with one swipe of the tongue."fine I'll help. I say as I playful roll my eyes then give a quick smirk at the cute booty running all over the living room looking under the couch cushions and chairs."Here it is." I giggle and shake my head as I pick it up from the bar in a matter since she asked me to help and hands it to her.

She looks at the phone and relaxes a bit then. "Ugh!"

"What's wrong babe," I ask clearly caught off guard by the sudden groan

"My mom is using her psychology tactics on me." she says while reading something off of her phone.

I look at her with squinted eyes as I nod for her to continue.

"Well my mom believes if she tells me a time I'll wait until the last minute and end up feeling overwhelm. So instead of telling me the actual time that she's suppose to be here she tells me an earlier time, in beliefs that I'll feel satisfied with having everything ready once I'm informed she'll be here later than planned. And that was her texting me that she is just now getting on her flight." She finishes all in one breathe.

"Oh." I say in a amused tone.

"Ugh!" she groans again while flopping down on the couch

"soooooo." I question not sure if it's completely safe to ask anything. She give me an apologetic look and before she can start apologizing for being a wrack I take her hand and give it a comforting squeeze, and she places her forehead on mine once again."Babe" I call to her softly while sitting next to her.

"Yes." she replies.

And I stay quiet for a second.

"Baby." she says with a bit of exhaustion in her tone and I can't help but feel guilty because of our activity an hour or so ago.

She looks into my eyes as hers are telling me to continue.

"What time is your mom coming." I ask with hesitation not wanting to upset the balance of the room.

Her blue eyes meet my chocolate browns once again while our forehead are still touching. She gives me a quick kiss on the lips and leans her head back while closing her eyes. "She won't be here until six." she replies.

I look at the clock and realize that's not until another three hours. I place my hand above her pantie line and glide my fingers one by one against her skin.

She turns to me and licks her lips before saying "No."

But we both know she means yes.

"I'm too tired to move." she protests.

I give her my nose crinkling smile to seal the deal."we don't have to go anywhere." I say as I gently push her against the couch and begin straddling her as I look down into those breath taking blue eyes with all the lust from between my thighs to the corner of my mouth as I place my tongue there.

"What are you waiting for." Her low soothing voice asks me before taking her bottom lip into her into her mouth then nibble on it.

"I'm am no longer waiting for anything because I got everything I ever wanted right here." I say with a smirk as I lean down to breathe in every inch of her.

* * *

A:N/ _want more? RFF (Review, Fellow, Favorite) all three (:. _

_**Reviews: **__I will be more than happy to read a review with your thoughts and feelings, if they may be about the good, bad, ugly, need improvement, or praise :) either way I would love to know them. Please feel free to be as long or short as you want and I will reply to everyone through PM._


	2. Here's Paula: Part 1

**A:N/** I want to thank everyone who RFF (Reviewed, Followed, and/or Favorite) it really made me feel all warm and gooey in the insides :). Please keep your thoughts coming they fuel me and if you haven't checked yet please check your pm for personal replies, if you didn't get on then it is set to block, but I thank you anyway.

**OAN** (on another note): for those of you who are wonder like Holly if this story is just going to be a "ball of fluff" the answer is...think about it? how much butterflies and rainbows can happen when your sneaking and lying? hmmm, ponder my pretties. Enjoy!

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

Here's Paula:Part 1

*Ashley*

The babe and I have been stealing kisses from each other and sneaking glances at each other ever since our little rendezvous three hours ago. We're sitting on the couch after Spencer had fixed her dress and hair again and slipped on her heels. Spence's mom is running later than expected so, me, Spence, and her nerves are waiting for her to arrive.

"Why do you get to have all the fun." she asks me as she leans over to tease me with just the hint of her lips.

"Babe you know I'm like a can of Pringles." she looks at me with a raised brow and I continue. "Once you start you just can't stop."

A smile appears across her face connected from one corner of her mouth to the other before she bends over laughing.

After a few seconds of nonstop laughter she looks down at our maroon carpet mat that's in front of the couch. I lift up her chin so she's facing me; I stare at her with wide eyes trying to express as much comfort as I could possibly pure out of me as I ask her. "what's on her mind and to not tell it's nothing, because we both know that's not true."

She bites her lip tensely and the lines crease on her forehead before saying. "Maybe I should just tell my mom about us and that way I wouldn't have to stress so much over dinner."

I give her an approving smile before replying. "I think that's a great idea." I agree while placing a faint kiss on lips.

"Ok." she breaths out barely audible and I can tell her nervous are still present by the way she is twirling a stray strand of hair that managed to get free from her perfectly slicked back bun.

"I got an idea babe." She looks at me to continue. "Why don't you pretend that I'm Paula?" I suggested while looking at her a bit eager for her reply. I'm not sure why I am so eager for this little exercise, I suppose it could be that I rather not hide my relationship with the love of my life from anyone, mom or not, so anything to help her get the nerve to tell her mom is fine by me.

She stops her hair twirling and looks at me with full focus as she replies. "Okay." way more excited than the first time.

"Babe" I ask looking at her intensely waiting for her reply.

"Yeah." she replies clearly engulfed in her thoughts.

"Are you going to start?" I ask a bit impatient.

"Oh yeah." she giggles while removing my hand from her chin and I gives it a gentle squeeze. Before she starts she releases my hand and I miss the warmth of her touch as I watch her place her hand in her lap followed by the other one on top of it. "Mom, Ashley and I are in love." She says with a deep breath and worry in her eyes.

I give her a stern look before scrunching my nose and lifting my upper lip to it as I say. "You both are going to burn in hell. I smile and continue "will you pass the mash potatoes please".

"Ash." she whines while jumping up and slapping the side of her leg.

I place my hand on my stomach letting my head fall back on the couch while flinging my legs in the air as I let out a laugh that is coming from deep down within me. "I'm sorry babe I was just trying to lighting the mood." I say while trying to catch my breath.

"Not funny." she says while doing her brat combo, which I kiss away. Hey, it's our thing what I can say.

"Awe, my apologies" I whine with a smile. "But why are you so afraid of telling your mom anyway." I ask with a small laugh still lingering in my throat.

"Well, baby, it's like I told you growing up my mom was very religious and on one hand she could sympathies with drug addicts, pregnant teens, and even women who committed adultery, but when it came to gay people it was unacceptable and in the same breathe she would say no sin was greater than the other." She says while laying her head back on the couch while turning her head to face the door as she goes deeper into her thought. "I just always imagine her pulling my girlfriend out by her hair and me yelling stop! I love her!… even if it is in our house."

I set up and bit down on my lip as I thought of how to reply to that… then the door bell rings and everything froze in place. I looked over to Spence and I swear I could hear her heart beat so rapid and vigorous against her chest I was afraid that it might break through the skin and fling against the wall. I closed my eyes and breathe in deeply for a second and for the first time today… I was nervous. I open my eyes when I heard stumbling and focus my vision on Spence trying to catch her balance as her legs wobble while she tries to make her way to the door. I couldn't help the laughter that erupted out of me. She looks back at me with squinted eyes and if looks could kill her eyes would be tearing me into pieces right now. I stop laughing instantly and stood up and said. "Babe I get it."

"It's your fault." she says while leaning her upper body against the couch while her lower half lies on the floor because when wobbling she didn't make it but two steps from the couch.

I keeled down to help her up. And when her ear was inches away from my lips I use my tongue to glide it into my mouth and nibble on it before whispering. "What can I say I like making you…light on your feet." The same blush that appeared on her face the first day I recited poetry to her has made a comeback to my favorite pair of cheeks.

I helped my girl over to the dining room table to have a seat in a chair as I went to open the door. And there she was the woman I didn't know much about except from what Spencer told me, which made her seem like a tyrant, but I was about to let her into our home to turn our lives upside down. As I looked at the older blonde I couldn't lie to myself, she might just be a tyrant but she is the second most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I step back to take in the sight of the older blonde in front of me with matching radiant blues that are a shade or two lighter, a pulled back sun kissed blonded bun, and an equally beautiful smile as her mini me. And her body was amazing also in her navy blue tight jeans, peach net sweater with a matching tank underneath that set off her white base scarf that had silver strands in it. The scarf was so fluffy you would think she made it out of Spence's childhood teddy bears and with the left over fur made the matching top of the white leather gloves and boots she was wearing.

"You must be Ashley." The older blonde grabs me into a bear hug before I could answer causing my face to lie on her bear of a scarf and inhale the familiar scent of shea butter, vanilla, and mint and I almost dozed off from how comfortable the cuddle was, but lucky she released me first.

Once fully waking up after the embrace I replayed. "Yeah that would be me." giving her my nose crinkle and feeling the head shake of disapproval from my girl that's behind me still sitting down. I smiled to myself while looking down and looking up just in time to catch the older blonde brush a strand of lose hair behind her ear and I could envision how my girl would look sixteen years from now. And if the saying is true that your girl will mirror her mother in elder years than I'm one lucky Bit-

"Ash." I am taking out of my thoughts by the honey smooth voice that I adore.

"Yes Ba- Spence."

"Can you get my mother bags?" She pleads with a gentle smile.

"Oh yes, of course… I'm sorry Paula, I zoned out." I say while giving her a big smile that mirrors the one a guilty four year old would do after doing something they weren't suppose to.

"Yeah she does that a lot." My girl says with a bit of annoyance in her voice that I want to kiss away, but can't since her mother's standing there, so I do the next best things and go to put the older blonde bags away.

When walking back into the living room I see the two blondes embracing each other in the dining room while the older blonde cups Spencer's cheeks in her hand with tears threatening to fall as she says a volume or two above a whisper. "My beautiful baby girl, you get more and more beautiful every time I see you." And I can't help but nod in agreement as I look on ward at the two. The older blonde wipes the tears that have escaped her eyes and clears her throat before saying in her normal tone with a bit of humor. "Spencer you haven't stood up since I got here. What workout have you so tired?"

And I couldn't help the laugh that startled both of them.

"Ash" the older blonde calls to me while holding her chest as if its hard to breathe. I look at her with a slight lip twist and I can see now who my babe gets her dramatic behavior from. I rub the back of my neck while replying. "Ummm… I'm sorry I wasn't try-"

"No worries." she waves me off.

And I snicker to myself, like how can it be 'no worries'… when you just held your chest as if you were going to have a heart attack? In that case you get a big fat D for dramatic; I smile to myself at the thought. "Well Paula, Spence is so tired from cooking all this fabulous food we're about to eat." I say while taking a seat across form my girlfriend giving her a taunting smile while Paula removes her gloves and sits at the head of the table.

"Well, I wouldn't want all of your efforts to go to waste, so shall we eat." the older blonde says with a stunning smile.

I get up and remove the tops from the serving dishes and watch as Paula take in all the food in awe that my girl spent over two days preparing. And I really don't understand why she made so much for three people and getting up early this morning to place everything in warmers to keep anything from getting cold except for the desserts that stay in the fridge. doing all this as if we were throwing a Christmas party.

Paula practically was drooling while she continue to look at the rosemary turkey, pineapple bourbon ham, garlic herb cheese crusted duck, Jalapeño macaroni and cheese, eggnog hot water corn bread, garlic, cherry tomatoes, and cranberry mash potatoes, collard greens with cabbage and slice carrots, corn on the cob with tequila lime butter, a toss goat cheese, crack pepper, and olive oil salad, with a red velvet cheese cake, coconut cinnamon banana pudding, and pumpkin pie squares for dessert. She reaches over to give Spence's hand a gentle squeeze as she says. "You out did yourself honey. I guess you don't need my added dish".

Spence's eyes widen as her mouth drops open a bit and breathes out "Mom you don't cook."

Paula laughs harder than I did when Spencer said a similar sentence to me earlier that day. "Of course I didn't cook dear; I bought a Marie calendar apple pie on the way here. That's honestly what took me so long because it was Christmas services crowded in that place. I really don't know why I got anything because you're just like your father cooking for an army, even if there's not one solder coming to dinner. She finishes with a small giggle.

"But seriously honey this is really too much and the reason your dad and I started going to the Bahamas during Christmas when you went away to college was so you wouldn't make such a fuss over us and live your own life. We didn't want you stressing yourself by trying to visit us in Ohio every holiday. Honey, honestly your brothers don't worry and stress themselves over me and I wish you wouldn't either. she smiles at her daughter lovely and continues."But I know it's in your natural to worry." She finishes while placing one of the silk gold napkins on her lap.

"Mhm I say while nodding in agreement again." This gets me a 'you're going to get it later' look from the babe. That quickly interrupted by the older blonde who asks me if I would like to say grace.

"Mom I don't think –"Spence tries to protest.

But I cut her off by giving her my deal sealing smirk assuring her it's ok.

Spence nods and I start. "Everyone bow your heads" I am nervous because I can't tell you the last time I prayed because growing up in my house our only tradition was abandonment and rock and roll. The only reason I knew to ask everyone to bow their heads was from old Christmas movies I've been watching lately.

Paula must have been able to tell I was nervous because she places her hand on my arm before giving it a comforting rub and that's all I need to I start.

"Dear God bless the starving children." I look up and see the older and younger blonde heads are still bowed for me to continue. "Ummm, and the people who feed the starving children…thank you God… thank you God." I say while slowly opening one eye then the other and see my girl giving me a look of horror. I chance looking over to her mother and I am pleasantly surprised to see a smile planted on her face before opening her eyes then laughing softly while finishing it up with a light sigh.

"I'm sorry Ash." she says through a giggle.

Awe, she called me Ash and my insides leap for joy because the women may like me and that means I'm good enough for her daughter, but of course she likes me... I'm Ashley freaky Davies! I am irresistibility likable to men and women of all ages. I decided to end my solo conversation and continue to listen to what else Paula has to say. I didn't want her to stop liking me before I was sure if she did indeed like me in the first place.

"I am not laughing at you, it's just that was the most unique prayer I have ever heard." she says between giggles.

"Well that's me." I replied with a huge grin, head tilt to my right shoulder, and eyes squinted.

"That you are." Spencer joins in a bit snappy which causes me to frown a little.

"Shall we eat?" Paula says smiling between the both of us.

We all start on our plates with Spence annoyed, I'm a bit hurt, and Paula's pleased... so it may seem. I'm not used to this much tension between me and Spence or any tension for that matter. But on the bright side we only have to endure this for one day.

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	3. Here's Paula: Part 2

**_A:N/_**_Here's the 2nd part to chapter 2 as promised. I want to thank everyone from deep down in the 'insides' for sticking with me and a big hello! to the newbies thank you all for RFF (Review, Fellow, and Favorite) . Enjoy!_

Special thanks to _**Sonnoc**__, I wouldn't be able to do this fic without your eye for error ;)_

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How I Met Her Mother

Here's Paula: Part 2

*Ashley*

Spencer is on her third plate of food while I and Paula decided to make our way over to the teal colored couch, with our ginger tea and homemade oatmeal cinnamon raisin cookies in hand. Spence made them for breakfast this morning and that's my babe always making a light pastry such as cookies, muffins, or crepes on the side of our breakfast items. It's been really nice waking up to the smell of sweet, salty, and savory flavors that fill the apartment every morning.

"Ashley." I am pulled out of my thought by the soft voice of Spencer's mom.

"Huh" I reply slowly with wide eyes and my lips slightly dropped near my tea cup and I'm sure I look like a damn fool or fish one of the two.

A drizzle of giggles rained over me as the older blonde lifts her tea cup and stops directly under her chin.

"Did you zone out again dear" she questions with a twinkle in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

I wipe my palm that has now become a bit moist from sweat on my black D&G skinny jeans and answer with a trembling laugh. "I guess I did." She narrows her eyes on me while lifting the tea cup closer to her lips as she slowly sips from it without taking her eyes off of me. I put my tea cup close to my mouth and sip even slower than her while staring down at the top rim of the mug, in hopes that I could sip the tea until the end of the night to avoid a farther conversation.

The mood was less tense over dinner even after my prayer and Spence's irritation. I believe it's because everyone was starving. And you can always tell when people are hungry during a meal because there is no chatter, laughter, or breaks between bites. And all that is heard is utensils against bowls and plates and the occasional slurping and groans from shoving food in one's mouth. Needless to say no conversation was had during dinner and once Spence went for thirds she asked her mom would she like a small after dinner snack and Paula said she would only have one if I would join her. Now here we are sitting awkwardly on the couch knees across from each other giving us a slight bit of space as we have a 'who can sip their tea the slowest contest'.

"My daughter can really put it away can't she." the older blonde states as I lift my eyes slightly to look in her direction while still sipping my tea. Lucky for my nerves Paula is not facing me she's looking at Spencer proudly as if she just said Spence made the dean's list.

I cautiously move the tea cup only inches from my mouth as if it's a shield to protect me. "Yes, she sure does" I reply softly.

"I wonder what is bothering her." she says while placing her cup down on the tea saucer on top of the wooden green coffee table. And I reluctantly imitate the action. "I mean don't get me wrong, my daughter has always loved food." She focuses her attention on me with eyes that mirror daggers.

Continuing her intense stare she continues to speak after a few seconds of heart pumping silence.

"It's just that she doesn't bench eat unless she's stressed, worried, or… hiding something." She lets her last words linger in the air while narrowing her eyes on me and I can feel the center of my chest get extremely hot as if she's burning a hole through it.

My reflex causes me to lean back a little on my hands that are behind me as I swallow the lemon in my throat.

"Mom how are the cookies." Spence comes and sits next to her mother on the chocolate brown plush chair and I inwardly thank her for coming to my rescue.

Paula is still looking at me for a few seconds before finally turning to Spence and reply.

"I haven't tried them yet honey, but I'll try them now." She answers while placing one of the cookies between her teeth as she takes a medium size bite while closing her eyes to let out a soft moan of pleasure, finishing it off with the swipe of her tongue against her strawberry colored lips to catch the small trickle of left over crumbs.

I instantly cross my legs to stop my inner walls from throbbing and I'm bit embarrassed for being little turned on by my girlfriend's mom (ok, a lot turned on…shaking my head at myself for feeling such things). I close my eyes and try to shake these inappropriate thoughts from my head, but it's hard to do once Paula starts to speak again.

"Honey you and your father always knew how to turn paradise into a dish." She says with a sad smile. That I mirror in agreement of Spencer's skills and a bit sad I never got to meet her Dad because Spence always made him sound amazing.

"Ashley dear...what I wanted to ask you earlier… before you zoned out." She says giving me a smile I can't quite read before continuing. "Why aren't you spending Christmas with your family." the older blonde question with a loaded smile.

"Mom" Spence questions her with surprise eyes.

"What" she retort back with a slight shoulder lift and mock smile. "I am only curious." She claims.

"It's fine Spence." I try to assure her with and small smile that I approve of the subject, even though I feel very uneasy about it. I clear my throat and start staring at my right hand as I stir my spoon in my tea cup before replying. "My wicked witch of a mother had a house fall on her and my sister committed sympathetic suicide." I say with a sarcastic laugh. "Oh, and my dad was never there long enough to notice the series of tragic events or didn't care enough to care." I finish with tears caught in my throat.

After a few moments of silence I glance up at the two unreadable faces staring back at me and smile to try to clear any discomfort in the room. I inwardly decided to go a more honest route, especially since death is a sensitive subject for the two. Spence always says 'I'm funny when I don't try to be, but when I get nervous I instantly get into awkward conversations because I like to weird people out in order to protect my feelings'. She is telling me that in this very moment with the look of worry on her face. Trying an ease the babe's nervous and after a few breathes I give that honest approach a try.

"We'll Paula." I sit up straight to try and do the impossible in this moment…get comfortable. I continue with a barely noticeable smile. "I haven't seen my dad since I was two or heard from him. He gives Christine-"

"Christine?" Paula interrupts.

"My mother" I answer. My dad gives her money, but I don't see a dime of it since my mom threw me out and turned my sister against me when I came out-."

"Came out?" the older blonde interrupts again (and it's starting to get annoying) with a bit of judgment in her eyes.

"Yeah, came out about being a les-"I am cut off this time by Spencer clearing her thought with such force causing her to really cough

"Honey are you ok?" The older blonde questions while taking the short run to her daughter's side

"Wa-ter." The younger blonde breathes out while holding her chest as if she has exhausted all her energy.

"Right away honey." Paula says giving her daughter left arm a gentle squeeze before sprinting to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. Yes, bottle of water…because even when 'dying' the babe won't drink water unless it's from a bottle, actually all her drinks are from bottle now that I think about it. Except tea and she says that's because tea is brewed so it kills all the bacteria. I had to shake my head to myself at how theatrical these two are.

"Ash." The smooth sexy voice that's just above whisper takes me out of my thoughts.

"Yes babe." I say in a mesmerizing tone with an equally dazed smile.

"Don't call me babe." She says in a lower tone than before.

My heart shrinks into a tiny pebble that pings against my chest and she must notice the hurt in my eyes because she continues.

"I mean when my mom hears… of course" she add with a small smile. "You can't tell my mom that you're gay."

And I am taken back to say the least and before I could reply or even fully process Paula is in the living room with water in hand.

"Here you go sweetie." She hands Spence the water with a concern look on her face.

"Thanks mom." Spence replies with a reassuring smile that her mom shouldn't worry.

I look at my babe with eyes of disbelief to the comment she made seconds earlier.

"You ok Ash." Paula asks with a genuine smile and I can't read this women because one minute 'she's mother sweet heart and the next she's mother don't hit me'.

"Yeah I'm fine." I retort with appearance and disappearance of a smile.

"Now what were you saying dear about being a les-"she questions and her judging eyes are back.

I look over to Spencer who chugging her water which means she's nervous because usually she sip all her beverages as if she's having tea with the freaking queen.

I scratch my neck and breathe out. "Yeah before I became a les- less involved in the family activities." I was going to go ahead and tell Paula about my sexuality against Spence's wishes, but I couldn't stand to see Spence upset. As much as I hate hiding who I am, I mean hiding us is hard enough but hiding me is breaking a promise to myself. But I was willing to do it to for Spence…the babe. " a less involved in family activities? Paula questions with doubt evident in her voice."

"Yeah my mother doesn't like anyone to disagree with her beliefs."

"That doesn't seem like a reason to kick your child out." she says with a mixture of confusion and concern in her voice. "I believe one should love their child unconditionally without judgment." She finishes with an agreeable head nod as if she's trying to convince herself of the matter.

I look over to Spence and she's trying to avoid the nonverbal conversation that I'm trying to have with her.

"How long has it been." the older blonde questions.

"Excuse me." I question a bit confused since I stop listen when trying to telepathically communicate with Spence.

"How long has it been since you heard from your family." Paula repeats a bit louder as if was hard of hearing.

_9 years earlier_

_"Mom this is who I am." I yell out through tears. Me and my mom have never seen eye to eye, but it's human expectation that your mom will accepted you no matter who you are or what you choose…isn't that what unconditional love means? Even though she never has accepted me before so why would I think she dream of starting now._

"_You don't know who you are Ashley, who knows themselves at seventeen" my so called mother shouts at me with all the rage she could dig up._

_"I do." I scream back at the top of my lungs with the tears clouding my vision and causing my voice to sound raspier than its usual tone._

_"Is this because of Aiden and the baby because my God Ash-"I cut her off_

"_No, you don't become a lesbian because of a tragedy because thats foolish because a girl can cause you just as much, if not more pain. And sure I had fun with Aiden, but I always knew it wouldn't be more than fun and I deserve more than just fun… I deserve something real." I shot as I follow behind her retreating figure._

_"'I am not listen to this nonsense anymore because it's clear your confused. How does someone go from dating boys since they were fourteen to all of sudden calming to be a dyke"_

_"Lesbian!"I scream noe in full fledge tears as I shatter her favorite flower base against the floor causing her to grab both of my wrists and now she is shaking me. She always loved things more than people._

_"Are you crazy?" She shots with all the hatred she could spew from her chest. "I brought you into this world Ashley Davies and I will kill you with my bare hands."She threatened while pushing me back my wrist_ _with extreme force causing me to slam against the concrete floor._

_I laid there dazed as I could faintly hear her over me. I feel a sharp pain in my side an once I become fully conscious I realize the sharp pain is coming from her black pointed toe stiletto heels that she is drilling into my side with full force. The same stilettos she went to Pairs to have made by a top designer who only makes a pair of shoes every 3 years and the cost of said shoes enables him to do so. These shoes were so important to her that she spend the whole time I was in the hospital with pneumonia negotiating with the designer to get them, yeah she loved her things. _

_"Get up. I want you out of my house." She screams while still shoving her golden heel tip into my side._

_I jump up instantly grabbing my bruised side with my left hand then my throbbing head with my right and I feel warm liquid on my fingers. I move my hand from the back of my head and examine it and when I see the blood on the tip of my fingers my eyes widen, which cause my head to hurt even more._

_"I said get out." she yells while pushing me towards the door. _

_"I want to say goodbye to my sister." I cry while trying to push back and it's hard because everything is spinning at the moment._

_"I don't want you near her, giving her 'the dyke'." she says through gritted teeth in the cruelest tone know to man. _

_I filled the small space between us and retorted back. "It's not a disease that you can catch. And she's not even your daughter."Kyla was my father's love child and my mother was more than happy to 'raise her' if that meant more money in her account, so as soon as she was born she lived with us. But my mother never treated her like she was hers or me for that matter._

_"She's more of my daughter than you'll ever be." She says with a evil smirk. _

_I felt myself shrink down until I was the size of something underneath her shoe and to make matters worse I looked over to see Kyla peaking from her door before closing it. How could she not run out and embrace me or say good bye. I guess I shouldn't blame her since she was only fourteen and Christine could scare the devil himself. But I did blame her, especially after all these years and her being older but still not coming to look for me. I speed walked towards the door not want to waste any more tears. I slammed it open and walked out of it whit nothing in hand just the clothes on my back and the shoes on my feet. In that moment I realize everyone and everything can be taking away from you, so I promise myself that I would always have me and I would never hide or become anyone else for anyone._

_Christmas present_

"It's been nine years." I say in an emotionless tone.

"Wow. That's a long time" The older blonde breathes out and I nod. "Will you ladies excuse me for a minute?" Me and Spencer nod and Paula makes her to the bathroom.

Spencer gets up and heads to the kitchen and I follow behind her.

"Babe… what's wrong." I ask as I watch her start to put food in containers. She always clean when she's nervous, stressed, or anxious. She does a lot of different things when she's feeling that way. Well, because she always feeling one of the three or completely overwhelm in general and who wants to get bored with the same 'oh coping mechanism'.

"It's nothing baby." She says in a small voice and louder sigh and I know she's fibbing.

Even though I'm still heartbroken about hiding my sexuality I don't want to see her in pain. I sashay over to her placing one of my strapped up white open toe leather Jimmy Choo heels in front of the other until I'm standing in front of her. I slide my right foot out of my shoe and glide my candy apple painted toes up her inner bare thighs underneath her dress.

"Ash" She hisses as she looks out the side of the kitchen to see if her mother's out the bathroom.

"My body needs a hero, come and save me" I start to sing (not well) the lyrics from David Guetta ft. Ncki Minaj 'Turn Me On'. I can't sing for shit, but I still do it. "Something tells me you know how to save me." I slide my other foot out of my shoe. "I've been feeling real low. Oh, I need you to rescue me." I slide my red Prada blazer off one arm at time. "Make me come alive come on and turn me on." I dip to the floor. "Touch me, save my life come on and turn me on." I whined my hips back up while gliding my hands from my ankles to the bottom of my silk white Donna Karan sleeveless blouse and lift it to expose some skin. I push my lips forward into their in shape of an O and I'm sure I resemble a duck. I do a quick turn jump around in the air and start popping my booty from side to side to no rhythm. Yeah, I cant dance either. I look back to see Spence eyes widen before she runs pass me to lean over the kitchen bar so she can get a closer look at the bathroom door that's still close. I sneak up behind her wrap my arms around her waist and whisper in her ear. "I'm too young to die, come on and turn me on."

She spins around faster than a dradle. "Ash quit it." she pleads with her eyes.

I lean in to kiss her cheek then look into her eyes lovely. "Not until you tell me what's wrong." I questioning.

She gives me a heartbreaking look. "I'm sorry." She places her index finger on my lips before I could ask why she's apologizing. "I'm sorry for making you break your promise."

I release her waist placing my hand in my pockets and start to stare at my bare feet as I process the apology.

"At least it's only for one day." she says with a promising smile. That I happily return.

"I don't know what you're going to do with all this leftover food honey." Paula says while walking out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

"Oh mom, me and Ash usually pack up the leftovers and go downtown in front of 'The Los Angles Rescue Mission' to feed the homeless every thanksgiving and Christmas.

"Really" Paula asks genuinely intrigued. Spencer answers by nodding her head yes.

"When do you drop off the food?" Paula asks with excitement in her voice.

"We usually drop it off right after dinner, but since you're here for only a couple more hours Ash will drop it off while you and I ta-" Paula lets out a hardy laugh cutting off her mini me.

"Oh sweetie, did I forget to tell you that I postponed my flight until New Years day?

The world stood still as her words sprawled around me. I couldn't hear anything any longer except my heart crashing into the walls of my chest and now I can't breathe. My vision has become blurry before everything started to go black. Oh my God am I fainting?

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	4. Hopelessly Devoted

**Rating: This chapter is rated M** for mature, so please be.

**A/N:**Hello Beautiful readers: Oh, how I missed you all. I want to thank everyone who keeps reading and reviewing...it really keeps me going. I want to say Hi to all my new readers...Hi! I am excited to get this chapter out to all of you and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now this is my longest chap yet... 10,407 words. I don't want to brag... but that is 10-20 of most people's chapters. Soooo do I expect a bit more feedback? it's only fair :)

**Next Chap:** Next week. **Enjoy!**

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How I Met Her Mother

Chap 3: Hopelessly Devoted

*Spencer*

"Ash are you ok?" My mom genuinely questions my stunned girlfriend, who hasn't moved from her spot in the kitchen, since my mother told us she was staying longer than a day.

"Yeah." she breathes out barely audible holding the side of her stomach that her mother kicked her in nine years ago, which still has discoloration from the bruise that never completely disappeared. It always seems to bother her when she's feeling nauseous. Her mind has condition it's self to relate sickness to her side, which reflects her mother. She closes her eyes tightly and tries to catch her breath. I feel horrible for being the cause of her anxiety. I honestly never have seen Ash so stressed… that's usually my job in the relationship.

"Why is your blazer and shoes on the kitchen floor dear?" My mother questions while narrowing her eyes.

"Ash?" I call to her. Even though she's doing all of this for me I am not going to put her through an interrogation, especially when she's clearly not feeling well. She looks up at me with pain reflecting in her eyes. And I want to warp her in my arms with every fiber of my being. I look at her face that's lightly drizzled in sweat and mentally kick myself for dragging her through this mess with me.

"Yes Spencer." She says in a shaky voice that tugs at my heart. To hear her call me Spencer melts my insides. I haven't heard her call me Spencer since, since, since- never.

_3 years earlier_

_I don't know how I was able to speak let along profoundly when the brunette walked back over to me after reciting the beautiful words about me. I never thought I was good enough to be anyone's muse. _

_"So what brings you here?" Her seductive voice asks me and I melt right where I stand._

_"I wasn't brought here, I walked here." I reply not sure if it sounded clever or absolutely lame._

_"Come again?" she questions with a raised brow._

_"Come again?" I didn't go anywhere in the first place." Ok I am starting to lean more towards the direction of lame. _

_She bites her lip and I wish it was my lips between her teeth instead. She lifts both brows and stares into me with chocolate arrows that penetrates my heart. She places her hands in her pockets, loosens the grip on her lip, and gives me a devilish grin before continuing."Excuse me beautiful." she walks up to me slouched over while taking both hands out of her pockets and extending them with palms towards me as she continues. "Would you be so kind to spare a hopeless woman some time." she says with a smirk that is too freakishly_ _irresistible to deny._

_"Hopeless?" I question._

_"Hopeless devoted to you." she starts to sing Sandy's song to Danny from the movie 'Grease.'_

_Guess mine is not the first heartbroken,  
my eyes are not the first to cry_

_I'm not the first to know, there's just no getting over you  
I know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around  
and wait for you  
But baby can't you see, there's nothing else  
for me to do…. I'm hopelessly devoted to you. _

_"Well, I hope to be, if you let me." she finishes with a promising smile. She giggles a little before speaking again. "I can't really sing." She says replacing a promising smile with a bashful one. "But it seemed befitting to the question, and more importantly I knew I had great possibility of making you smile." She says with a wink and I can't feel my legs underneath me._

_"Oh." I say as I look down while brushing a single strand of hair from my face, which seems pointless since I decided to wear my hair curly._

_"So I am assuming it worked?" she questions while wiggling her brows._

_"I thought you said assuming makes us both look foolish." I question daring to look back into those chocolate world wind eyes of hers._

_"Actually I said it would make us both look like asses." She giggles and I mimic the action with a head shake. "But if you want to be politically correct… than yes." She's now leaning up against the bar of the café and I can see glimpses of her skin through her sheer leopard shirt, and faint traces of her lacy red bra. I blush at the sight and she gives me a teasing smirk. "Besides a wise, woman once told me that it's only wrong to assume if the assumption is wrong, and since you're smiling then it's clear that I wasn't wrong about making you smile." She says with wink and a smile and my legs are loosening all their strength. _

_"Sooo." She drags out a bit before capturing her lip under her teeth again. "Would you like to sit down because a woman in your condition shouldn't be standing up." she says with a smile playing on her lips._

_"My condition?"I question. A bit offended assuming that she's applying that I'm either sick or pregnant._

_She widens her smile. "Yeah, after you fell… you really shouldn't be on your feet"_

_"Fell?" I question a bit taken aback from the statement._

_She lets out a sexy raspy chuckle and I get light headed from the high of her. _

_"Yes, after you fell." She leans in closer to my ear and I can smell the scent of sage and chai floating off of her radiant skin. "Fell from heaven." _

_And I couldn't help the laugh that shoots from my throat._

_"You're laugh is as beautiful as your smile." She says with an adoring look and I hold my giggle to look back at her. "So, shall we sit?" She asks while pointing to the only table free in the cafe. It's crowed in here but no one dears to sit at the only table with a red wood top and leather stools and I mean no one. There's actually people standing against the wall instead of coming near this particular table._

_I felt it would be rude to deny such an honor. Plus the brunette in front of me was beyond breathtaking… she was breath giving. Her beauty breathed air into my lungs and fueled me with every kind of emotion._

_"Or would you rather stand." She teases. _

_I was so caught up in my thoughts I forgot to make my legs move. Shes staring at me with the most beautiful smile spread across her face and I guess I should answer. "Since you made such a great argument I guess I can spare a bit of my time."I say trying to sound smooth or mysterious; whatever will keep her interested in me._

_We walk over to the table and she pulls out my stool for me to sit in. She takes her seat and the employees and some of the regulars start winking and smiling at us. The brunette gives them a stern look which makes them turn away immediately._

_"I'm sorry about that." She says with a genuine smile. And I don't know if I'm the cause of how smiley she is or if it's just her thing. _

_"It's ok." I reply not really thinking it's her fault. _

_"Now what were you saying about walking here and not being brought?" She questions while rolling her tongue ring across her red candy apple bottom lip, and my mind thinks of places she could roll that ring on me._

_I look back into her sensual eyes causing me to blush profusely. I try to recover by thinking of something clever to say, and here goes everything. "I walked here meaning I came at my own free will because nothing forced me here; therefore, nothing brought me here."I finish with a confident smile and head node._

_'Mhm." She says while lower her eyes on me as if she's studying me._

_I instantly feel hot, I take off my light knit sweater and place it next to me on the table top. _

_"Can I treat you to a drink…" She pauses and twists her lips a little as she thinks. "Bluuuue." She stretches the word out a bit._

"_Blue?" I question while leaning back a bit._

_"Yeah, I never got your name, so blue will do." She says with a head nod._

_"Blue? So, do I call you brown?" I ask with a small smile on my lips _

_She returns the gesture and replies. "You can call me whatever you like as long as you call Me." and there goes that darn blush on my face again. " I should call you sparkle, since your eyes shine." She finishes with her bottom lip in her teeth and wiggles her brows._

_"Ew!" I retort; even though, she looks extremely adorable right now._

"Ew?" _she questions with a elevate brow and bit of disbelief in her tone._

_"Yes, ew because the nick name 'sparkle' reminds me of a grandmother in Vegas with her sequin hat and matching… everything! I say with a gag face and continue. "I am only 25 gosh! I finish with my best 'Napoleon Dynamite' impression and a huge smile. I am surprised that I feel so relax around the beautiful stranger to joke._

_She looks serious for a moment before bursts into laughter and I do the same. "Ok, so what would you like me to call you?" she questions still letting her giggle ride._

_"Spencer." I reply_

_"Ok, Spence." She says with a smile._

_"Spence?" I question._

"_ Yes Spence, I'm sure that your friends call you Spence and since I am so friendly I thought I do the same." She replies with another wink and a smile. It's clear that's her seal the deal combo and all I could do was shake my head at how much this girl pleases me._

_End of Flashback_

"Ashley why don't you go in your room and lay down for a bit." I tell her with a consoling smile. She gives me a small smile that expresses so much gratitude and heads to the room. I watch my girlfriend walk as fast as she can while holding her side. Leaving me and my mother by ourselves for the second time tonight, which I know means questions.

"so-" she asks waiting for me to look in her direction

See I told you...question. "Yes mother I reply not really wanting to.

She starts to pick up ash's jacket and shoes, not to be helpful but to point them out.

"Your girlfriend seems really nice, Spence." She says in a taunting tone.

"What?" I retort. "Mom she's not my girlfriend!" I reply harshly.

_"_She's a girl that's a friend, right?" She says with a slight shoulder shrug and a smile. "When I was a young lady my friends and I called each other girlfriends." She says while watching me out of the corner of her eyes. Ugh! I hate when she tries to mess with my head.

"Well she just a friend nothing else." I say with venom in my voice and I don't know why I am so angry. I start washing my hands with dish washing liquid, something I do to ease my nerves. I decide to stop when my hands start to feel sore and begin to turn red. I switch to putting the food in individual 'to go' containers.

"I'm glad where going to bring in the New Year together." She says in a small voice that I can't quite read. "Are you happy?" She questions with a bit of vulnerability seeping from her lips and I start to feel bad for treating her like the enemy. I mean it's not her fault I feel so tense, wait! It is her fault.

I love my mother, but I resent her for this guilt that I can't be the daughter that she wants me to be and as if I am embarrassing her. I stop packing the food for a second and look back at her with a small smile. "I'm happy." I say before turning around and continuing my previous activity. I feel her come behind me and gently wraps her arms around me. I stop what I am doing for a moment to place my hands on top of hers to embrace the small bit of comfort.

" Good." She says while kissing my cheek than releasing me from her grip and I feel tense again. In that slight moment I felt like the daughter she wants me to be and not the daughter she's going to hate when she finds out the truth.

She walks in the living room and collects her and Ashley Tea cups from the coffee table and places them in the sink.

"Spence that Tea was wonderful. What kind was it?" she questions with a true interest.

"Ginger and honey with a hint of mint." I reply simply. "And it's good for you." I say that last part with a smile reflecting on a memory.

"And when did you become such a tea expert." She question a bit impressed.

" I wouldn't say that, but-"

_3 years earlier_

_"Ashley." the brunette says enchantingly._

_"Pardon me?" I asked a bit dazed._

_She does that sexy chuckle again." Who says patron me? And you think me calling you Sparkle would make you seem like a grandma?" she chocks out through a giggle and I playfully roll my eyes. "My name as I said early on stage is Ashley, but you seem friendly too or at least when you let your guard down, so you can call me Ash… or brown, whatever. She finishes with a shrug and a smile._

_"Ok Ashley." I say keeping it formal._

_She shakes her head. "So Spence…" She lets the 'e' linger on her tongue and I feel my insides shiver. "Can I treat you to a drink?" She question with a hopeful smile and how can I say no._

_"I would like that Ashley." I say with a head nod and a bright smile._

_She puts up one finger in the direction of the bar and the waitress comes sprinting. Wow, I never seen such speedy service._

_"What can I get for you?" The woman with red natural curls asks._

_"The usual for me please, Jessica." The brunette says without looking in the direction of the waitress._

_"Chai latte right away Ma'am and for you Miss?" I am caught in Ashley's gaze…mmm Ashley I love the way her name rolls off my tongue. I am so mesmerized I forget about the patient waitress waiting to take my order._

"_ Spence?" Ash leans towards me gesturing for me to come closer with her index finger rolling towards her. I do as I am told and once our faces are inches apart she leans near my ear and whispers. "As much as I love watching you watch me, would you like to order?" She says with a giggle while leaning back in her seat._

_Ummm. "Yes, I'll have-" I look down at the menu while chewing on my bottom lip in search of the most reasonable item; even though, I'm being treated I don't want to take advantage of her generosity. It's hard to find anything less than seven dollar and I am doing eye leaps through this perfectly structured and designed menu._

_"Do you like the menu?" She questions with an amused smile._

_" Yeah." I reply ducking my head lower into the menu. This smooth look I'm trying to uphold is harder than I thought, especially being in the p_resence _of a goddess._

_She must of sense my uneasiness because she tries to lighting the mood. "Good, I designed it myself." She says while putting on a smile that mirrors a four year old proud of their original finger painting._

_I shake my head and giggle before focusing back on the menu. I look up at the red head waiting patiently... really patient. There are at least a dozen people waiting on service, but she is waiting on me. "I'll have a wa-"_

_I am cut off by the soothing touch of Ashley's hand on my right forearm. "Spence, I know you were not about to order water in this holistic tea establishment?" She questions. For the first time today her easy going demeanor seemed a bit serious and it kind of turned me on._

_"Well I-" I am cut off again by a very passionate Ashley_.

_"You were going to try one of our healing teas, not only are they good, but they're good for you." She says with dominance before continuing. "Anything that's bothering you we have a tea that will take care of it. " She'll have the ginger tea." She tells the waitress while smirking at me._

_"Did you really just order for me?" I ask a bit impressed and offended at her dominate nature._

_She let out a divine laugh and any sigh of offense was taken down by her defense…charm. "I had to Spence."_

_Dang, I am really enjoying the sound of the shortening of my name. _

_"You were going to order water and I am sure it wasn't any of our custom waters". I fold my arms and look away in protest as she continues. "Besides ginger tea is good for blood circulation, immune system, and stress." She finishes the last example in a pointed tone. I turn back to face her and lose all previous thoughts once I see her dazzling smile._

_End of Flashback_

"Ashley has a vast knowledge of teas." I tell my mother as I put the jag of ginger tea leafs in my cabinet that's designated for all of our teas. I head back over to the already packed 'to go' containers to places them in reusable bags.

"Oh I see." My mother says in a tone I haven't heard her use before and I don't know what to make of it.

"Yeah." I say while packing up the last bit of food for the 'Mission'.

"Honey?" She says in a questioning tone and I don't know why she does this. It's like a question to ask a question, a pre- question. I shake my head at the thought in amusement. She's standing behind me and I can feel her eyes burrowing into my back for me to grant her premising to continue.

"Yes, mother." I reply exhausted. It's nine o'clock at night and my mother has been asking me and Ash questions for three hours straight. We're lesbians … we don't do anything straight. I laugh to myself after mentally using one of Ash's favorite phrases. Awe, speaking of Ash she still hasn't come out the room I really should go check on-

"Honey?" I'm taking out of my thought by my mother's impatient tone.

" Mhm." I say while brushing my hand down an already neat bun smoothing no loose strands in the process.

"You and Ashley have been roommates for 2-"

"3 years." I correct.

"Oh." She says as if I clarify it for her, but I know she already knew the right answer. "How did you two become roommates?"

_3 years early_

_" Well-" I stretch out the word and my arms. Causing me to accidentally knock the drinks out of the redheaded waitress hands._

_"I'm so sorry." She pleads before I could get my own apology out while picking up the cups and I am confused to why she's apologizing. A raven hair waitress with golden brown skin_ _practically slides on her knees_ _comes over with a towel to help the other waitress; again I am surprised by how rapid the service is here._

_"It's ok Jessica and Sydae." Ashley assures them and they grab the cups and nod._

_"I'll have the barista make you some more drinks." The red head says while walking backwards and mouthing "so sorry."_

_I put my hands on the table and hold them close together not trying to make any more of a mess. I started playing with my fingers that were becoming moist._

_"Spence it's ok.' The raspy voice of the radiant brunette tries to assure me._

_I chance looking at her and that was big mistake because now my cheeks are redder than before, which is the cause of a wink, lick/bite of her bottom lip, finishing it off with her signature smirk. That had to be the knock out combo because I was dazed, but the only star I see is her. Corny? I know. _

_"Spence?" She calls again with amusement in her eyes and on her lips._

_"Yes." I reply slow and sexy (well, what I think is sexy) trying to muster up all the conviction I can. I think it might have worked because she rolled the ball of her tongue ring against her bottom lip and I took that as a sign of approval._

_She leans in close causing me to get lost in the scent of sage and chai again before being brought to reality, or something like it by the melody of her sensual voice. "Don't worry about the tea Spence... it costs me nothing. Beside it had nothing to do with you." she smirks before continuing. "All employees get nerves around the boss no matter how nice of a boss you are." She leans back and I giggle at how good this woman is at massage my weak spot…making me laugh._

_"Don't laugh at me." she whines cutely and one of my heart strings brake from the tug._

_" I'm sorry you just-" I am interrupted by the red headed waitress._

_"Waters while you two wait for your drinks?" She says with a smile and drinks on her tray. Ash looks at me then moves nothing but her eyes towards the waitress, which is her gesturing me to answer._

_I clear my throat before answering."Um sure." I reply and the waitress places the waters on the table._

_"You'll like this water it's my favorite, and that's probably why Jessica brought it. She states. She's really starting to sound neurotic with this whole 'I'm the boss thing'._

_Ashley looks like she's my age or younger, so there's no way she can own this place, unless she's a heiress and I have not seen her on 'Here's the Heiress', which I watch faithfully._

_"And why will I like this water Ashley, besides the fact that it's your favorite?" I questioned._

_"It's that enough of reason?" She says and we both giggle. " Seriously it has mint leafs that have been soaked in honey that gives it a smooth taste with lavender to not only even out the taste but… it's good for insomnia, headaches, and stress. Finishing the last example with another pointing tone. I don't know why she assumes I'm stressed. "Plus all the ingredients are good for you." She says with a pleasant smile._

_"As lovely as that sounds I only drink my water amongst other beverages from bottles." I say with a shy smile._

_"Really?" She retorts and I give her stern head nod, which causes her to laugh. "Then I will have to start making bottle versions of my water from now on." She says with an agreeable head nod to herself. "Just for you of course." She adds with a flirtations smirk._

_"Is that right?" I question with a slightly raised brow._

_" Hopeless devoted remember." She replies than takes a sip of her water. "mmmm, Spence." She moans and I don't know why that turned me on so much. Now the heat on my cheeks has made an encore. She points down to her water and continues "You are missing out." _

_"You act like you never had it before." I say between nervous giggles._

_"Spence, when something is so good." She says with an intense stare and I am torn between focusing on her chocolate eyes or painted lips. "Every time you have it, it feels like a new beginning." She finishes while slightly nibbing on her lip._

_" The first time?" I correct._

_"come again?" She asks and my mind goes elsewhere causing me to shake my head and hopefully my dirty thoughts in the process._

_"You said when something is so good it's always like a new begging, and I was asking did you mean it's like the first time?" I repeat with a bit of cockiness to my tone._

_"Nooo." She lets the last O linger. "I mean new beginning because the first time means when you experience something again it will have old feelings attach to it. And even if it's good feelings it limits you from the possibility of new feelings. Sometimes we think things are good because were comparing them to things we have experience and not the possibilities of things we haven't, so they might not be that good at all. She finishes and takes another sip of her water. It seemed like time stood still and the only movement was Ashley's tongue swiping off the excess pebbles of water from her lips. This woman was intriguing with every move she made._

_"Ms Davies." The red headed waitress interrupts our moment of Silence and I am getting a bit annoyed with this constant checking in. _

_Spencer Davies...hmmm, I like the sound of that. Oh my God, did I just think that? I just met this girl, that's crazy. Wait... why is she calling her by her last name? When do Servers start calling customers by their last name?_

_"Yes Jessica." Ashley questions the server in an irritated tone._

_"I am so sorry too interrupted, but the code expert wants to talk to you." The server say a bit uneasy pointing to the direction of a pecan colored woman with green eyes, sandy reddish brown teased hair that goes passed her shoulders, and a Colgate smile._

_Ashley looks in the direction that the waitress is pointing and sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes at the sight. "I am sure she does." She mumbles to herself then lets out a heavy sign. "Tell her I'm busy and can't meet with her now." She says with a huff._

_"I did ma'am, and I wouldn't trouble you if she didn't say it was important". The server replies while wringing the bottom of her apron and chewing on her bottom lip._

_"Ugh!" Ash groans while hopping up from the stool. I didn't think she could get any more desirable, but she is so sexy when she's upset._

_She starts to walk until she gets to my side of the table and her face instantly softens. "Would you excuse me for just a minute?" She asks while pleading eyes not to leave. I give her a gentle nod, which earns me an ear to ear smile. With that she's off to speak to the green eye beauty. _

_I look over to both women and 'green eyes' is pointing in my direction while Ashley nods. I decided to turn around because it's none of my business._

_Sitting there for a few moments it dawns on me. The waitress rushing to clean up Ashley's chai latté when I first walked in, the host moving out the way so Ashley could introduce herself, the table that no one would touch that we set at, the waitress who waited for me to order my drink with no annoyance and the customers who didn't bother her, the same waitress plus one cleaning up the drinks when I knocked them over and apologized to me, all the jokes about being the boos…weren't jokes, And now a meeting with the codes expert. Ashley Davies is certainly the owner of this cafe. My cheeks burst into flames and my throat lost all of its moister. I instantly grab my purse from the floor and head towards the door. I hear a faint raspy voice calling after me, but I ignore it and continue speed walking._

* * *

_After a ten minute power walk on crack, I finally make it inside my place tossing my purse and keys on my glass coffee table. I lean on the beige chair closes to the front door for support. I am trying to slow down my heart rate that's beating from the bottom of my feet to my temple as I find it hard to breathe. On a regular day it would usually take me twice the time to get home from where I was. Before I could get my thoughts around today's events I hear a knock at the door and I wonder who can it be. I don't have any friends and the people I do associate with I don't talk to outside of class, so obviously they wouldn't know where I live. I walk over to the door slowly and ask "who is it?"_

_"Hey Spence, it's me Ashley." The beautiful voice floats through my apartment and I didn't think I would ever hear the melody of her voice again. I snap out of it and start pacing back and forth in front of the door while doing spirit fingers. I am debate if I should answer the door or not. After a few seconds which seems like hours I finally decide to answer it. And there she was, the breathe giving brunette._

_"Did you fellow me home?" I question a bit worried and flatter at the same time. _

_A wave of laughter crashes into me "No Spence, you left your sweater." She replies while holding up her alibi. "And you really shouldn't leave imported things in it such as your Id." She finishes with a smirk while showing me exhibit B._

_"Oh." I say while reaching for it a bit embarrassed for accusing her. "Thank you for bringing it back to me, my grandmother made it for me."I inform her with a twinkle in my eyes as I think about my grandmother and how she loved to knit. I hold the sweat close to my cheek and press up against the soft cloth. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I lost it for good._

_"I figured it had to be special since it didn't have a label." I look up at her designer clothes a bit confused and she giggles. "Clearly I'm a label wore." She says gesturing to her clothes for emphasis." But see labels let people know what category to place you in by their standers, but no labels means only you know what something does or does not mean to you, which in my opinion makes it more valuable."_

_I look deeper into pools of chocolate. "Thank you again for retuning it."I chock out a in a small voice._

_With an adoring smile on her lips she replies. "Don't worry about it, Spence. It's kind of 'poet's code' to be a good samaritan and 'lesbian's code' to go after a beautiful women." She finishes with a wink, bite/lick of her bottom lip, and a smirk. Leaving me glued to my spot. "Besides you left before getting a chance to try our amazing ginger tea." She says while pointing at the two cups that are placed in the brown 'to go' cup holder that she's holding. I look down a little while remembering why I left in the first place._

_"I really should-"I am cut off by the scent of sage and chai as she steps as humanly close as possible._

"_Spence, don't make a hopeless woman beg." She whisper inches from my ears then slightly chews on her bottom lip anxiously._

_"I guess a few minutes wouldn't hurt." I say while turning around to lead her to the house. Once I reach the beige color couch I notice Ashley hasn't moved from her spot. I walk back towards her mirroring her wide grin. "What are you doing?" I ask while twirling my fingers around each other._

_"I can't come in unless you invite me." She says with a playful smile._

_I bite my bottom lip and speak. "Would you like to come in Ashley Davies?" I ask her and I hate to admit I love the way her name rolls off my tongue._

_With a devilish grin she walks in a few inches next to me waiting for me to lead the way to my sofa._

_"You assumed again." She accuse with a mischievous grin._

_" Oh." I retort with a elevate brow. She nods with huge smile. "How so may I ask?" I question very curious to the answer._

_" You assumed I wasn't a vampire when inviting me in." we both look at each other with a slight giggle held in our throat before the laughter erupted._

_" Too many twilight movies?" I guess between laughs and silence causes me to look over at Ashley who has a serious look on her face_.

_"I said vampires not glitter ghost. Real Vampires who will burst into flames and turn into dust in the sun…not sparkle in it. Vampires who hate who they are with anger burning through their soulless body… not sadness in their puppy dog eyes. Vampires who bond over human blood not." She thinks about it for a second. "Foot ball."_

_"Wow." I breathe out. "You're very passionate about that. I say with a smile._

_"Well its poet's code to be passionate about something if not everything you speak of."_

_" So I'm guessing you're not a Twilight fan?" I tease._

_She chuckles. "Now Spence what would give you that impression?" She says with a sly smirk. "I actually like the 'Twilight' books because Belle had spunk and although she loved Edward she was no damsel in distress. Unlike the movie where they made her all wimpy, but on the other hand Kristen Stewart is a fox!" I inwardly agree with that last statements and lick my lips in approval."I like 'Twilight' as a love story being a closet romantic and all, but not as a vampire tale. It's no 'Interview with the vampire.'_

_"That's quite complex." I say with a teasing brow and smile._

_"Well it's 'poet's code'. We say at the same time and giggle._

_She continues "its poet's code to be complex; however, complexity is really simplicity._

_"Please do tell?" I ask leaning closer for her to finish._

_"Complex simply means to think unlike simple things are understood without thought, so it seems, but that's a different matter. See Spence, sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."_

_" That's deep." I breathe out with my chin in between booth of my hands._

_She's giggles."Its poet's code." she give me an amused smile before continuing. "Every poet has some deepness to them because you have to go deeper to reach people sometimes because you're giving them a sense of something new, especially since people like to keep it simple. You provoke thoughts that they leave locked away. I don't write revolutionary poetry but I still have to go deep. Being a love poet I have to go to parts of my heart that most people tuck away to reach those broken, icy, damage hearts. Besides that last line about the questions was not mine it's a quote from Dr. Seuss. Another part of poet's code is to be great you have to first study the greats, so warren quotes will be mention." She states with wiggling her eyebrows and I shake my head and let out a light hearted giggle._

_"one of the greats?" I snicker._

_She gasps while holding her chest in mock offense. "Spencer are you kidding me? 'Green eggs and Ham' was about being so set in your beliefs that you might miss out on the best thing that can ever happen to you. And if you could possibly deny how deep that story is I know you have to admit 'The Sneetches' was deep. I look at her a bit lost._

_"I never heard of it." I say a bit embarrassed._

_"Oh, you must be one of those kids who only had the popular bed time story read to them." She says with a teasing smile. "Don't feel bad Spence, I didn't read the story myself until I was 21. _

_"How old are you?" I interrupt._

_23, the story is about how prejudice is not seen through our eyes but our minds. For example, if everyone went blind we would discriminate on each other's voice or feel of one's skin. Of course Seuss displayed this through star bellies and non star bellies furry creatures, but the message was still delivered with intensity. I giggled to myself at how she just blew past her age._

_Me and Ashley talked and laughed and I can't tell you the last time I laugh so much. We sipped our drinks as I sipped in all of her. I enjoyed watching her shed her layers and getting to see the equally beautiful faces of Ashley Davies._

_"I do have a question." I say waiting for her premising to continue._

_"Another one?" She playfully asks. _

_"How did you know I would know the song from 'Grease'?" _

_"Because every girl knows the movie 'Grease', epically girls with blond hair and blue eyes." she says with a wink._

_"Oh and why is that?" I question._

_"Because girls with blonde hair and blue eyes mirror the main character Sandy of course." She says with a look of 'duh' on her face._

_"Sandy didn't have blue eyes." I retort._

_"Well she should of." She says with a cheeky smile._

_"Grease is one of your favorite movies?" I question._

_"Spence, I'm a brunette." She says while pulling a piece of her brown curls for emphasis. "I have more of a darker taste, such as 'Sweeney Todd'." And there goes that chuckle I have come to adore. "Seriously, I did like 'Grease' and Sandy was my favorite character." She says while melting chocolate into blues._

_"Really?" I say while clearing my throat._

_" I like a flawed Character and I think Sandy was as flawed as it gets. She was trying to be the image of honey in world of shit. She had people hate her because they reminded them of their lost innocents and at the same time she was wishing she could lose hers. People thought Rezzo was her polar opposite, but she was really her mirror image. They both wanted to be the other and were judge for the image that others put on them. When getting a glimpse into each other's worlds they became their truest self"_

_Ashley was stroking my mind in all the right places. Nothing is sexier than a woman who can hold a conversation no matter the topic. I had to say something quick before I soaked through my panties down to my bare thighs. I swallowed hard and spoke_

_"Is it poet's code to be selfless?" I question and she lifts her eye brow for me to elaborate. "If so then why is the name of your café 'Egocentric'?" I say with a meek smile._

_And the chuckle after my heart appears. "Selfless still has a bit of self in it and its good for one self to have their ego stroked now and again. And besides all poets are egomaniac… we just hide it well behind our enchanting words. She finishes with a pleased smile._

_I get to my last sip of tea and decide to make that the reason for us to part ways. "Well, I had a really nice time." I say while standing up and she mirrors the action._

_"Are you sure I have to go." She asks while looking down at her red open toed heel boots that she's twisting one against the beige carpet._

_I bit my bottom lip at how cute she is and tried to mustard up the answer 'yes' but nothing was coming out._

_She lifts her eyes slowly giving me a seductive look that turns a bit bashful. "Look Spence if this is about that woman at the bar-"_

_I think for a moment and she most be referring to the code expert, who I faintly remember her flirting with Ashley until the flirting wasn't return, which caused her to point in my direction angrily." Oh, no Ashley it's not about that." I say sincerely._

_"Is it about me calling you Spence? Because I 'm not going to stop she says with a confident smile."_

_" No." I say a bit shy._

_" Then what?" she asks with genuine concern mix with a bit confusion._

_I turn around so my back is facing her and my eyes are facing my front door. I breath out heavy before continuing. "I was bit embarrassed because when I first came in I came to look for a job, but was distracted by the beautiful brunette standing at the bar with the potty mouth." I can feel her smile behind me and I mirror the gesture. "When I found out you were indeed the owner of the bar and smart, funny, insightful, charming, delightful, stunning, and pour amazing. I was embarrassed that you were out of my league. I felt her warm hands gently rub up and down my shoulders down to my arms. I turn around to dare stare into the eyes I always drown in. Once I face her she gives me a comforting smile._

_"Spence, you are beautiful, intelligent, a pleasure to be around, and already keeps me on my toes." We both giggle. "Babe I'm not out of your league... you are the league." She says with lust in her eyes._

_My heart flutters and before I could process her calling me 'babe' her lips gently collide into mine which instantly intensifies. Now she's sucking and pulling on my bottom lip with her teeth while my hands get lost into her locks as I lightly tug on it._

_She whimpers into my lips "You can take it out."_

_And I pull off her thin black hair tie while licking off every trace of paint from her lips. Her hands slip up the back of my shirt snapping my beige bra off in one swipe, pulling the straps down my shoulders as the bra falls to the floor. She starts to run her cherry red nails down my back and I lean my head back in pleasure from the connection of nails to skin. She spins me around so that my back is facing the couch and pushes me on it, ripping my blouse off in the process while exposing my harden nipples. _

_She smirks down at me before saying. "Don't worry I'll buy you a new one."_

_She then leans down to slide her tongue around one of the already_ _harden_ _nipples, making it harder to the point of slight pain that hurts so good. She rotates her tongue around the nipple than slowly sucks it into her mouth along with some of the breast. I moan her name and it energizes her. She slides her tongue from the nipple she was teasing to the other and does the same action. The only noises that fill the apartment, which haven't filled it in two years are the sounds of sucking, slurping, moaning, and now Ashley's name. She leans up to look at me with raw desire in her eyes and I reach for her blouse's bottoms only to have my hands slap down as she yanks her blouse off with more force than she did mine._

_I am in awe of the image that's over me, untamed chocolate curls scattered across her face with swollen faint red colored lips, glazing skin, amazing abs, with perked nipples poking through her red bar. I reach up and she lets me this time and I slowly rub my fingers against her already harden nipples and she moans at the touch. _

_She grabs my wrist with a slight force and glides my fingers to her mouth where she licks each one slowly rotating her tongue against the tips before taking them into her mouth. I feel my wet lips against the seat of my panties and I could orgasm off that along. Once she's done with my hand she does the same to the other hand than glides it into her black pants to her soaked center and my clit jumps from the touch._

"See how wet you get me baby." She whimpers as she grinds her clit against my fingers and were both moaning from the acting.

_She removes my hand and places it back to her mouth this time taking all of my fingers and sucking her juices off them and I bite my lip from the display in front me. She places my hand down on my stomach and looks at me inventively before she leans down and sucks on my lips and I slide my tongue into her mouth and she sucks on it. _

_She's sucking on my tongue and pushing my head towards her while gripping my hair. She pulls my hair breaking the kiss while keeping my bottom lip between her teeth. She releases my lip and unbuckles her belt then tears off her pants tossing them to some remote location. _

_She pulls off my skirt revealing my wet spot in the seat of my panties and I blush a little. She rotates her tongue ring against both parts of her lips and pulls my panties down causing my juices to slide from my bare lips down my right thigh to my ankle. She places the panties to her nose inhale deeply and leans her head back from the satisfaction of the smell. She places the panties around her neck and rips off her bra exposing her dark caramel harden nipples and I lick my lips at the sight. She smirks and removes her red lacy boy shorts to reveal her full lips with a light amount of brunette hairs. _

_She reaches for my hand and I give it to her. She pulls me up into her arms dips me down and gives me a passionate kiss until we had to break it to catch our breaths. She wraps me up in her arms with my legs dangling and carries me into the bedroom. Tosses me on the bed and slowly crawl near my toes where she places light kisses on them before grabbing both feet in her hands and rotates her tongue against the tip of my toes before sucking on them one at a time. I move around tangling my face in my hair as I grab the pillow for support. She releases my right leg and focuses all of her attention on my left as she kisses up my ankle to my inner thigh then mimics the action on my right leg. _

_She gets to my center and smirks and wiggles her brows as I whimper and arch my back pleading for her to enter me. She starts to place small kisses on my second pair of lips, sliding her tongue against them, and then slowly sliding a finger at the tip of my hole._

_"Ashley pleases." I'm surprised by my own plead, but I don't care I need her inside me._

_I hear an amused giggle and I can feel her smirk, which gets me even wetter. I feel her spread my lips with the tip of her tongue and rotate against my walls then brush against my throbbing clit and I almost lose it. I feel her grab both of the outer sides of my thighs as she starts to pull me towards her. I didn't realize I was scooting off the bed head first with the pillow over my face._

_"Why are you running away from me?" She questions with dominance in her voice and I am already too weak to respond._

_She grinds her lower lips against mine and I can feel our throbbing clits touch. I try to scoot away because the pleasure is too much, but she pushes herself more into me. I start to feel my body tense up in the best way and before it releases she lifts my legs up and dive into my center. I am pushing her head close to my clit while she rubs against it with a stiff tongue before taking it into her mouth and sucking on it. She slowly brushes her tongue against my clit increasing the speed with every stroke. This process continues for at least eight orgasms._

* * *

_**Five hours later...**_

_I feel soft kisses along my body and I open my eyes to lust filled midnight brown staring back at me. "Ash?" I question with a pleased smile._

_She smirks while putting her chin on my stomach and I caress her hair. "See I told you that you're friendly once your guard is down." She puts on a wide smile before continuing. "And all I had to do was get in your walls to break down your walls."_

_I cover my face with both hands. "Shush Ash!" I shout through a giggle. She removes my right hand from my face and begins to kiss in the palm and I remove my left hand from my face and place it in her hair and starts to play in it. "Ash?" She lifts her eyes for me to continue "Did I fall asleep...during-?" I ask while chewing on my bottom lip a little. She laughs a bit, which makes me more nervous._

_"No babe, you fell asleep a few times and I kept putting my fingers in you, causing you to wake up moaning. I eventually decided to let you get some rest before I finished"_

_Finish? I ask a bit a nervous; I am not use to going this many rounds. She replies with a smirk and head nod._

_Her eyes brighten as she lifts up. "Babe I have a great Idea." she says while jumping up and heads to the living room._

_She comes back with a wicked grin and something behind her back. But all I could focus on was drinking in all of her nakedness and it was astonishing._

_The bed shifts and I didn't know she was so close, I didn't even know she was walking. "Babe closes your eyes." She says with excitement and I do so. "Ok, open them." She says while bouncing a little. _

_I open my eyes to a box with a picture of a red elbow shape gadget as I read the words above it. "We vibe." I say slowly leaving my lips in the last letter shape and my brows knit together._

_I hear the sexy chuckle of the brunette "it's a vibrator." She says with a bigger smile than before and I cross my arms and let out a puff of air. Her smile falls and her eyes that were once filled with excitement are now replaced with inquiry. "What's wrong with you? If you're not into toys that's all you had to say, you don't have to get an attitu-"_

_I cut her off. "No Ashley." And I see a bit of hurt in her eyes from me calling her by her whole name. "I am not into being someone 'flavor of the week'." I retort with my arms still folded and turning my head to the side looking out the bedroom door. She comes around and kneels down on the floor in front of me as she stares up into my eyes and my demeanor softens._

_"Babe I bought the vibrator today on the way to work to use on myself, but I won't say that I'm not happy that I have someone as beautiful as you to use it with. She gives me her defense melting smirks. "Because playing with yourself is fun, but playing with others is so much better." she gives me a wide smile._

_" I'm sure you say that to all the girls.. like the code expert..mhm" I roll my eyes._

_"I thought you weren't worried about her." She says with a knowing smirk._

_"That was then, this is now." I retort._

_She brushes through my hair with both hands. " Spence that was my ex and she wanted me back and used business to get me to talk to her, but I left her and business to chase after you. I am the owner of the only lesbian poetry coffee shop in the middle of gay man's land better known as West Hollywood. I am young and attractive and once I open my mouth to speak their left in awe by my intelligence, so yes I do have women throwing their panties at me from time to time, but those women are so shallow. That's the thing about LA you can see beauty everywhere you turn but very few have depth to them. Spence you are the full package and you don't need to feel threaten by anyone because you're the one." She kisses me passionate._

_She climbs on top of me not breaking our kiss until she lying on the side next to me and I miss her lips instantly. _

_" Sooo" she says while reaching for the box she left unattended then holding it up and I nod allowing her permission. _

_She opens the box, takes out the vibrator, and wipes it with an anti bac wipe, then dips it into a cup of water before drying it with a paper towel. I must have missed her brining in all these things when I was lost in the trance of her nakedness. _

_She places the object's small handles on each side of her neck above my panties that she's still wearing as a necklace and flips a switch. She spread my legs then my lips and places her vibrating tongue against my clit and I instantly slide back towards the head board as the weaves crash through my body and I orgasm profusely ._

* * *

_**Six hours later...**_

_Ashley and I are facing each other as we run our fingers through the other's hair while I give her lazy kisses because she's still fully energized. I pout and she kisses it away._

_"What's wrong babe." She asks with perky smile_

_"I meant to ask you why the new name?" I ask as my eyes slightly lower_

_"Is that what's wrong?" she question with doubt evident in her voice._

_"Nooo" I reply as my eyes get lower. "But I still want to know."_

_"Like I told you before labels are for people outside of you. I call you babe so you can know I plan on keeping you and for others to know that they can't have you." she finishes and I can hear her lips part into a smile as my eyes are now completely close. She places a small kiss on my lips and I whimper for more. "Not into you tell me what's wrong." She play threatens._

_I open my eyes to look at her."You haven't let me do you." I say with a pout and she kisses it away while giggling into my lips._

_She lies on her back." I'm not a 'touch me not butch or femme or nothing'. I just like to get mines first._

_"Well, waiting for you to be done 'getting yours' I'll never get a turn." I whine._

_"I don't want to brag." She says while wiggling her brows. "But I have been told to have an addicting taste and I wanted to get you sprung off the tongue before the clit, so that way you can't live without either." She says with a cocky smirk. And I roll my eyes. _

_She crawls up my body and straddles my face and as soon as my tongue brushed her clit I moaned in agreement to her previous statement. She started ridding my tongue and I get lost in the taste of her. Her taste was sweet and savory, it was cool than warm, it was a variety of flavors. I pushed my tongue in and out of her as she bounced on it and her juices started to overflow down my chin and the corners of my mouth. She places my hand on her breast as she continued to bounce on my tongue. I gripped and squeezed on her soft pillows and I drowned in her juices and moans of my name that filled the apartment. I caught every orgasm she released on the tip of tongue and down my throat and she tasted like heavens youth fountain._

* * *

_After four hours of having my face buried in Ash's love walls I start kissing up her bare cheeks to her back wanting more and she giggles. She turns over and greets me with a light kiss, she's nowhere near tired or has falling asleep, she just giving me a moment to catch my breath. I don't know where she finds the energy…maybe it's because of those teas._

"_Babe?" the raspy voice questions taking me out of my thoughts._

_"Mhm." I answer in a dazed and she giggles._

"Sooo." She drags out and she's adorable when she's hesitant. I smile at her to continue. "You're looking for a roommate she says while waving the flyer I printed out earlier today, but having gotten around to passing them out.

"Yeah, I am." I say while looking away thinking it's kind of embarrassed that I need help paying my rent when she could probably buy a mansion if she wanted.

_"Where do I put in my application?" She says lifting up on her right elbow a little._

_"Huh? You need a place to stay?" I question in disbelief and she giggles._

_"It's not like I'm homeless Spence." She giggles. "I live above my café and for the longest time I wanted to make that part into a hookah lounge. Only reason I haven't is because I thought it would kill the mood telling customer they can't sit there and to smoke on the balcony because I don't want any smoke on my furnisher. We both giggle. "You would really be doing me a favor Spence." She says with vibrant smile._

_"Isn't it bad to mix busy with pleasure?" I question with a head tilt._

_"Come on Spence, this is not about business or pleasure, it's about making sense and this makes sense. Besides if you get tired of me I can always go into my own room." Which, she hasn't slept in 3 years until now._

_"I guess you're right." I say a bit unsure._

_"Of course I'm right." She assures me._

_"Are you sure you want to commit to this." I ask not sure if I mean the apartment or this speedy relationship that's happening._

_"Hopeless devoted remember? She states with a reassuring smirk. And I smile as my nerves ease a bit. "I guess we are regular U-Haul lesbians." She jokes and we both laugh._

_End of Flashback_

"We became roommates after bonding over tea." I tell my mom with an assuring head nod and knowing smile as I reach into my fridge for a glass bottle of water. "Would you like one?" I ask while trying to change the subject as I turn to face her pointing to the bottle."

"Yes please." My mother says with a smile. I hand her the bottle that's already in my hand and grab another one for myself. "Honey what does this bottle say?" She asks while pointing to the writing on the bottle as if she can't see or read.

"It says 'Egocentric' mom." I say with a small eye roll.

"Not that dear, I meant what's under it?" She says while point to the lower scripture and my heart sinks a . "Does that say Sp-Ash-ley." she reads out slowly.

I get my nervous together "Yeah, it's from Ashley job." I retort hoping she'll drop it.

'Why did she blend your names together?" she questions with judgment in her tone.

" I gave her the idea to bottle her water and since it's her place it only made since to blend our names." I say with a small smile and mentally wipe the invisible sweat from my brow.

"Uh huh?" She retorts and I open my water and look away as I sip it.

Only seven more days, seven more days, seven more days…God help me.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ What do you guys think? I know the sexy times were awesome and what else? Did you like Spencer POV? Sharing is caring so lets feed each other._


	5. Paula Don't Preach

**A/N:** I want to first start **by apologizing for all the false update alerts**, I'm sure that was very frustrating. I was still learning how to work Fan fic, but no worries I got it down pack now and** updates from now on will be factual**.

**Thank you **to those who informed me about the issue. I also want to thank everyone whose taking the time to read this story plus review, it really means so much.

**Special thanks **to those who review constantly this chapter is for you... **Sonnoc,** **Annis81, Elke85, and SpashleyandCalzonalLover2013   
**(:

**_Please welcome my new Beta, Sonnoc_ **I can't thank you enough for taking over as **my beta **and teaching me with every error you correct. This story is a journey and I'm glad to have you in the car with me.

**lovegun1983, Dominomino, and Dimino L: **Hey, I didn't hear from you guys last chap...I hope you're still reading.

As for as **future updates**, when I first started this story I had only a one shot in mine then no more than three, but the story had a mine of it's own; in result, I will write until it's done and update anywhere from a week - 2 weeks ( 2 weeks more likely). **Enjoy!**

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

Chap 4: Paula Don't Preach

*Spencer*

I place my empty water bottle on the countertop and my mother does the same. I see her form her lips to about speak but I do before she gets a chance.

"I am going to go check on Ashley'." I say with awkward smile. She let out a small sigh and I walk out the kitchen and down the hall. I am not using Ashley for a scapegoat, maybe a little, I really am worried about how she is doing.

I approach the door slowly and lean up against it as I exhale deeply. I have never used this room since I moved here and Ashley hasn't used it either, until now. I shake my head in disbelief that we went through so much trouble to make this lie believable, even went as far as renting furniture to make the bare room look occupied. I close my eyes and try to get a hold of myself before my mother decides to come up behind me and wonder why I am using the door for support. I am just finding it hard to move while being imprisoned by my guilt. I finally open the door slow and see Ashley's back facing me, I step in a little and I whisper to her.

"Baby, are you asleep?" No reply. I step out the room closing the door softly trying not to wake her. I know this has to be exhausting for her.

I look down the hall where my mother would be, not ready to face her I step in me and Ash's room. I lay on the bed and inhale the scent of Ashley and reminisce about all the mornings we ate breakfast in bed, all the afternoons she would read me her poetry and I floated on her beautiful words, and all the night we would face each other while caressing each other's skin until we fall asleep. I press my face against Ashley's pillow and find comfort in her scent while pulling the blanket from my right side over me, wrapping in it as if it was her skin against mine. She is so close in the next room, but I felt as if we were worlds apart. I lift up placing my face against my hands and let them slide down the front of my neck. I slide them to the back of it and gently massage it, I groan because my hands aren't as soft as Ash's. The slightest touch of her finger sends chills up my spine; the thought pushes me over the edge. I get up and pace around a bit trying to walk off this feeling of emptiness and horniness.

I slam my fist against my hand thinking that I wouldn't have to go through all of this if I could only get up the nerve to tell my mother. It shouldn't be this hard, I am twenty eight years old, live in my own place that is miles away from her. But it is hard because even when your mother is wrong, you grow up feeling everything she says, believes, and does is right. A mother's only job is to guide her daughter. I can hear my mother's voice echo the words that she recited religiously to me and my father.

I stop pacing when the picture on my dresser catches my eye. I pick up the beige frame with the only picture in the room that isn't in a frame of deep or bright color. I smile at the black and white picture of my four year old self wrapped in my mother's arms. I rub my fingers against the open wide smiles we're both wearing as our blonde locks blow in the wind. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

_24 years earlier_

_I enjoy feeling the crisp wind blow through my yellow sun dress as the long blades of grass sweep across my bare legs. I run as fast as my little legs can take me down the hill, I stare at my white folded down ankle socks inside my white church shoes. My mom, dad, Glen, and I go to the park next to the church after service every Sunday. In a matter of minutes my mother scoops me up from the back wrapping me in her arms and spinning me around to face her. I let out deep giggle which she mirrors. I am always so surprised at how fast she can catch me; I guess I thought mothers couldn't run. My mother is wearing an all white dress and three inch heels with her hair in curls. I stare into my mother kind eyes and felt so loved. It was the most carefree I have ever seen her. My mother's soft embrace was comforting, I feel at ease with my cheek against hers. I feel safe in my dad's arms, but at home in my moms. In that moment I knew, I knew._

_End Flashback_

I place the picture down and pick up the plum colored frame of me and my childhood best friend.

_20 years earlier_

"_Mom, do I have to go?" I whine softly and pout.  
_

_"Yes Spence, you do. You start missing church now and you'll have to repent later." She says with a superior smile. _

_I plop on the beige carpet and cross my arms in protest._

"_Spence you're going to get your dress dirty.' She hisses so I lift myself up and stand straight.  
_

_My yellow dress has been replaced with a white one and my flat church shoes and folded ankle socks haven been replace with two inch with heels and white stockings. I stop wearing yellow dresses or anything with color after I turned five. 'Color is for babies and whores and you are neither' my mother would say. _

_I used to like church when my mother would let me go to children's church, but my mom says I'm not a baby anymore. My mother likes to uphold an image, so even after church me and my brother, my other brother Clay, who came last year, are not allowed to associate with the other kids or parents for that matter. We're not even allowed to drink orange juice and glazed donuts with the other kids because my mother says sugar is 'white death' and our bodies are a temple that we need to take care of. She doesn't let me and my brothers eat in our church clothes so we don't get them dirty. The whole family wears white. _

_We stop going to the park and going straight home the same time I stop wearing colors. Saddened from the thought I walk into the church doors ready to put on a false smile because 'smiling is welcoming good spirits' my mother would say. I notice everyone is mingling so I decide to take the opportunity to put my head down to look at my shoes. I take the long walk down the peach colored carpet to the long white plush benches where our designated seats are, there are no reserved seats but everyone knows it's where we sit. I continue to look at my shoes until I am stopped by slamming into something hard. I stand up instantly to apologize to the body that played victim to my clumsiness. _

"_I –" I lose my words in my throat as I stare into dark chocolate chews that my mother use to give me during service, except this time their eyes and not candy.  
_

_"Are you ok?" she asks with a head titled and her dark locks scatter over her left shoulder.  
_

_I nod my head slowly yes and open my mouth but nothing comes out. She places her hand over her mouth giggles while her shoulders go up and down. _

"_Hello there." My mother pulls me from my thoughts smiling at the girl and her family. I didn't see her walk up along with the rest of the family behind her. "Are you new here?" She narrows her eye, scrunches her nose, and widens her smile a bit while pointing at the seats that we usually sit in.  
_

_"Oh, yes." The woman with dark brown hair and bright green eyes goes to shake my mother's hand. "Me and my family just moved here from LA and decide to check this church out. _

"_Oh. I am the church mother here and anything you need just ask me. Ms…" _

"_Ms. Ross." The woman smiles brighter._

"_Ms. Ross my family and I usually sit here." My mother says never removing her smile.  
_

_"Oh, I'm so sorry… we'll move." The woman goes to grab her bag.  
_

_"Don't be silly, I'm sure we can all squeeze in here." My mother says never taking her eyes off the woman._

"_Ok." The woman smiles gratefully._

_We all scoot into the bench and I am inches from my victim. My cheeks turn red from the earlier incident and I lean in to apologize but am distracted by the smell of strawberries and bubble gum. _

_After weeks of admiring her colored dresses that flowed in the wind while she twirls outside, or the way her hair bounces when she would pretends to play hopscotch, or laughing every time she giggled. One day she asks me. "Are you special?"_

"_Huh"? I squint my eyes and drop my mouth surprised that she is talking to me.  
_

_She giggles "it's just that you're always staring at me." I blush. "My mother takes care of kids and they stare at me too, she calls them special." She finishes with a shrug.  
_

_"No, I don't think so." I say in a small voice and think about it for a bit. I don't really know what she means by the word because my mother calls me special sometimes, but I have a feeling she doesn't mean it in the same way.  
_

_"What's your name?" she questions with a head tilt that I mimic and have done ever since._

"_Spencer." I say in an even smaller voice than before.  
_

_"I'm Rudy." She says with a bright smile that I mirror. "Spencer, you're weird." She says before running to catch up to her mom who's waving her toward the car.  
_

_"No I'm not." I say to the retreating body. _

* * *

"_You know why I like you?" she asks with a wide grin  
_

_"mhm" I lift my eyes to meet hers  
_

_"Because you're funny" she giggles. _

"_What do you mean" I question  
_

_She shrugs "you always make these faces when you're thinking" she smiles before continuing. "You're always staring at me… I kind of like it." I blush "You're always blushing." She says before laughing. "That's why I like you the most Spence because you always make me laugh."_

_I smile and not because she's smiling but because it makes me feel the way you feel when you spin in circles before falling down.  
"Why do you like me?" She asks while scooting closer to me on the floor._

_We're sitting in my boring room and I wish I was in her room instead. Her room has bright yellow walls with hot pink circles and pony posters with a hot pink carpet, unlike my bare white walls and beige carpet. I have been in her room once when my mom does her usual church mother duties of greeting the new members at their homes. Before that the only other time I talked to Rudy was when she asked me if I was special. _

_After visiting her at her house that day her mother always asks if I can come over and my mother always make up some reason why I can't. One day Rudy's mom decides to stop by with a lemon pie and Brussels sprout crust. It's actually pretty good and healthy enough for my mother to let us have some. She brought Rudy with her and ever since then I would ask my dad if she can come over. She's been over every Sunday after service ever since. _

"_I told you why I liked you." she says brushing a small piece of hair behind her ear and looking away slightly before looking back at me expectedly.  
_

_I breathe in deeply and the answer comes flying out my mouth "You always smell like strawberries and bubble gum" I say with a shy smile. She smiles wide showing off her braces that she hates, but I like the way the metal shines in the sun and the different color bands she wears each month.  
_

_"My mother won't let me have bubble gum or any candy because it will get caught in my braces." She looks down poking out her lips and I scoot even closer to her. "She buys me bubble gum flavor chap stick to try to make me feel better." She says with a small smile.  
_

_"Does it taste like bubble gum?" I lean in closer while blinking my wide eyes. She laughs and I giggle.  
_

_"You want to try some?" I give her a closed mouth smile and nod excitedly. She leans over and grabs her yellow purse with hot pink pears on it, takes out a yellow tube with a hot pink top. Everything about Rudy screamed personality from her hair, eyes, clothes to her…everything. I let out a sigh and realize Rudy is saying something.  
_

_"Huh?"  
_

_She giggles."I'm sorry Spence; I'm out of chap stick." She says waving the empty container in my face and I look down at my fingers. "I have an idea." She says with excitement laced in her voice. I look up hopeful where I am greeted by bright eyes that are inches from mine, I can smell strawberries so close I could taste it, she closes her eyes and I do to as I feel my insides go into a frenzy when soft lips brush against mine. She pulled away and our lips hold on by the stickiness of her chap stick._

_It's over in seconds, it felt like I was spinning but never falling down. I place my fingers to my lips and I can't hear anything except the sound of them tingling in my ears. Everything is a blur until I see Rudy's head tilt in front of me as her shoulders shake from laughter.  
_

_" Are you ok?" she asks with a smile.  
_

_"Yeah." I breathe out with a head nod never removing my fingers from my lips.  
_

_"How does it taste?" she questions.  
_

_I lick my lips and close my eyes."Perfect." I say in almost a whisper and she giggles.  
_

_"Does it taste like bubble gum silly?" I nod my head yes. "You're special Spence." I really am starting to think her and my mom doesn't mean it in the same way.  
_

_"Rudy, your mother's here." My mother peaks her head in the door and waits for Rudy to get up and leave. She grabs her purse and waves as I watch her hair bounce away until she is no longer in sight.  
_

_I lie back on the floor and hear my mom faintly closing the door, never letting my fingers leave my lips. I hear Rudy's voice echo in my head "does it taste like bubble gum?" I said it does but the truth is it really tasted like her…fun, funny, colorful…perfect_

___since that day_ Rudy and I have been inseparable. She started to come over on Saturdays as well as Sundays that eventually added on Fridays and finally every day after school too. We didn't kiss after that day …we didn't need too. 

_On her ninth birthday I bought her bubble gum that she would only eat at my house, we would both get the leftovers out of her braces before she went home. On my ninth birthday she bought me colorful hair ribbons that she would bring in her backpack every day for me to wear at school until it was time to go home. I love Rudy; she is the only person I feel like myself around. _

_On Halloween I am not able to go trick or treating because my mother thinks it's the day of the devil. Rudy wasn't able to eat candy, so every Halloween we would stay up telling each other scary stories, what we thought to be scary, like monsters under the bed then we get so scared we wouldn't want to go to the bathroom because we would have to touch the floor. _

_Every Christmas we would write each other's letters to Santa and send them off. Once we got what we asked for we would say 'I know you better than you know yourself' and giggle. We really don't know what it meant, we heard it on a movie one day and it stuck. _

_It's our first day of middle school I am so scared. My mother tells me that it will be ok as long as I be myself. I don't know what self she means, the self at church, the self with her and dad, or the self with Rudy. I am so confused and her words just made me more nervous. When I walked to the door to see Rudy standing I don't care what "self" I am as long as she is there with me._

_It is almost four years since Rudy and I had been friends and everything is going well until._

"_Paula they're only kids." I hear my dad shouting from down stairs as I push my face between the bars at the top of the staircase. _

"_So were serial killers." My mother retorts._

"_What?" my dad questions while narrowing his eyes, extending his hands, and shaking his head. _

"_As parents it's our job to guide our kids in the right direction." Her voice is beginning to crack. "There are always signs and we ignore it as if it's innocent when it's sinful." She finishes with a whisper._

_My dad walks away shaking his head and I see a single tear roll down my mother's cheek._

_I turn around leaning the back of my head against the bars and close my eyes._

_Today would have made four years that Rudy and I have been friends and instead of celebrating our friendship like we always do by giving each other a secret that we would never give to anyone else. I am enrolling in and all girls school on the other side of town. I am sad to not see Rudy everyday at school, but at least I can see her after. _

_Well, that doesn't happen, my mother keeps me busy with every school activities she could. On days I do not have to be at an after school program my mother picks me up to have ice cream with her. She says it's 'mother and me time' but I know that's not the reason. I would trade all the ice cream in the world to have Rudy back. _

_Rudy has stopped coming around after being told I am not home every day for a month. My dad tells me she tried to come by a few times on the weekends. I try to stay home one weekend to see her, but my mom would insist we needed to visit Grandma._

_End Flash back  
_I place the picture to my chest and let out a heavy sigh before opening the back of it. I remove the three secrets Rudy shared only with me. First secret: I am glad you ran into me at church that day. Second secret: I was never scared of the monsters under the bed; I just like being scared of them with you. Third secret: the day I let you try my chap stick…you tasted perfect too. I held the secrets tight in my hand as if it would make us have more moments, before placing them back in the picture frame then placing it back on the dresser. I walk over to the next picture in a dark wooden frame that's purposely stained and I hold it up to look at it with a smile that becomes a frown immediately.

_14 years earlier_

_I have been going to the private school I loathe for two years now and haven't spoken to a soul, I miss Rudy. I am running late and I don't want to get written up since my mother finally let me walk by myself after Rudy moved, I guess she thought I would sneak and see her, which I would have. I really wish I could have said goodbye. I make a sharp turn around the corner where the mini mart is. I do my daily ritual of shortly entertaining the idea of getting something sweet when I am knocked out of my thoughts, literally, as my body crashes into another. I curse myself for it as I try to stand up._

"_Watch where you going… you freak!" Not the same reaction as Rudy eight years prior.  
_

_"I'm sorry." I say to the petite blonde with brown eyes and a nasty look on her face._

"_You damn right you are!" She retorts and steps closer to me causing me to step back almost losing my balance._

"_Debbie chill" a taller brunette wearing a pair of jean short shorts to show off her tone legs with red a crop top to displace her incredible abs and arms. Once she faces me I am lost in her amazing hazel eyes while she grabs my hand to help me gain my footing.  
_

_"It's ok, I did bump into her." I blush.  
_

_"She still shouldn't be such a bitch to such a gorgeous girl." She smiles and looks back at her friend who smacks her teeth and rolls her eyes. _

"_When you're done fucking her with your eyes can we go." The angry blonde groans and walks to the car.  
_

_"I'm sorry about her, I didn't catch your name." she smiles and I mirror the action._

"_Spencer." I reply_

"_Well, Spence it seems like you're in a hurry." She bites her lip."Would you like me to give you a ride?"  
_

_"My mother says I shouldn't take rides from strangers." I tease and she laughs.  
_

_"I'm not a stranger." She smirks. "My name is Candy and that ass" She points her thumb to the angry blonde whose face is still twisted "Is Debbie." She raises her brow for me to answer.  
_

_"Won't you be late for school?" I question.  
_

_"You have to go to school to be late for it, and most of time we don't go." She smiles.  
_

_"That's ok, the school is only a few blocks down." I say brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.  
_

_"Spence, if you are worried about us being late that must mean you are running late, so let me help you out." She says with a flirty smile.  
_

_"Won't you get in trouble for being near the school and not going?" I ask while nibbling on my bottom lip.  
_

_She chuckles. "My, my, my, you ask a lot of questions." I blush.  
_

_"Sorry." I whisper looking down at my feet.  
_

_"I like it." She says while lifting up my chin. "Debbie and I go to the public school across town, we only hang out here to avoid the truant officer until Deb's aunt heads to work then we go there since Deb's has the spare key." I look at her in disbelief. "Don't worry about it Spence, we make up for all the days we miss in detention." She let out a hardy laugh and I relax a little. "That's we're I met this ass." She thumbs to the blonde again.  
_

_"Ugh! Can we go already?" The blonde says while rolling her eyes.  
_

_Candy looks at her making her looks away. "You want to ditch school and come with us?" Her faces has soften when she faces me.  
_

_She licks her lips then focuses on me. "I really, should get going." I say while biting down on my bottom lip._

"_After you." She bows extending on arm towards the car. "A car will get you there way faster and you seem like you are in a hurry."  
_

_"Ok." I breathe out and walk to the car. I can feel her eyes on me._

_I start to meet Candy everyday and she would drive me to school. After three months she kissed me and I didn't stop her, we made out a lot before school and after. I finally started inviting her to my house where we will do homework, well I do homework, she tries to make out and sometimes I give in. One day we're making out and she swipes her warm tongue over my bottom lip and I open a little and she places her tongue in my mouth that taste like honey, I suck on it and I let out small whimpers. I blush after every time we kiss, that makes her kiss me more, we can't get enough of each other.  
_

_"What are we?" I ask looking down at my fingers on top of my math book. She lifts my chin so I am facing her then closes her eyes and sticks out her tongue and I laugh. _

_"Candy!" I whine before hitting her with my pillow.  
_

_"Okay, okay. What do you want to be?" I place a finger on my chin tilt my head and face my eyes up to the ceiling as I think about it. "Spence?" she giggles. I love that I got to see the softer side of Candy. She's' stares at me expectantly, so I answer her.  
_

_"We've been hanging out and making out for a year now." She nods in agreement. I cross my arms, huff, and pout. She laughs. 'It's not funny!" I hit her with the pillow again.  
_

_"Awe, Spencer Carlin, do you want to be my official girlfriend?' I jump up and down on my knees clapping my hands.  
_

_"Yes, Candy Freeman I want to be your official girlfriend." I smile which she does the same.  
_

_"Better had punk butt." I smack her arm.  
_

_"Hey honey, oh I didn't know you had company." My mother lies. _

_I tell her I have a friend coming over every day for the last few months. She still comes in everyday after an hour and a half and stands inside the doorway taking out an item of my clothes and refolding it as she waits for Candy to leave. Candy gets off my bed, stands to her feet, placing her hand behind her neck while leaning into it. "Um, I'll catch you later Spence." She says before turning around to head out the door. She turns to look at me one last time before exiting and I wave to her.  
My mom gives me a small smile before closing the door behind her. I lean back on the floor close my eyes and try to calm down._

_The more Candy and I hang out the more serious she gets about school. She would come over to actually study, we still make out, but she studies too. On my birthdays I would sneak out to meet her where we first met and she would have orange juice and a glazed donut for me. I love how she remembers the little things._

_Candy is so much fun to be around she taught me how to skate and swim and I taught her how to take notes and time management… lame I know, but she loves it. She makes me take risk like sneaking into movie theaters, I thought my heart was going to bust from the fear of getting caught, but she always makes me feel safe. I make her relax and she stops getting detention and in to so many fights. _

_It was close to four years and everything is perfect until.  
_

_"Debbie what are you doing here?" I ask the angry blonde when opening my living room door. I am very surprised to see her because we never became friends and whenever Candy would bring me around her and she acts the same way she did the day we met, eventually Candy would hang with us separately.  
_

_"I am here about you and your girlfriend." I plead with her to lower her voice. 'Oh that's right mommy doesn't know." She says with an eye roll.  
_

_"What's wrong with Candy?' I ask with worried eyes.  
_

_"Oh you don't know what your mother said to her." I look confused and shake my head. "Your mother told her she isn't good enough to be friends with her precious Spencer and to stay away." My mouth drops. "Don't act surprised." I try to say something, but I am cut off by her hand in my face. "I will be taking Candy place as your best friend she says with air quotes and I look at her with my eye brows furrowed. "Oh please you wish Carlin…a non sexual relationship. You will not see or contact Candy unless you want mommy to get a whiff of these. "She says waving Candy's copy of our booth pictures from a month ago with the words 'I love you' on top and us kissing in every photo.  
_

_"Where did you-"I whisper before being cut off.  
_

_"Where did I get these? When you're girlfriend was so distraught over your mothers words I saw this on her dresser and figured she wouldn't miss them. She says with an evil grin.  
_

_I swallow hard. "Debbie, Please." My voice cracks from the tears rolling down my cheeks and I try to speak clearer. "I need to make sure Candy is okay."_

_She steps closer to me like she did the day we met. "Oh, she will be without the likes of you." she shakes her head. "You should of seen her there pleading to your mom that she is doing better in school and how you are rubbing off on her, blah, blah, blah… but mama Carlin wouldn't hear it.  
_

_"Hey Honey, who's your friend?" I wipe my face with my sleeve quickly before turning around to answer my mother.  
_

_"This is Debbie mom." I say with a forced smile while Debbie places the booth pictures in her back pocket.  
_

_"Hi ma'am, nice to meet you." she says while extending her hand for my mom to shake it, which she does with a smile. "I'll see you later Spence, to do homework." She says with a false smile and I do the same.  
_

_"Okay." I choke out.  
_

_"Bye ma'am." She waves before exiting._

"_Seems like a nice girl." My mother says before heading back up stairs._

_I did see Debbie the next day and every day after that to do her homework, wash her car, cook her food, and take over her babysitting duties while she made out with her boyfriend and will get the payment when the parents returned.  
The night I become Debbie's slaved I thought back to the day before when I sat at the top of the stairs and heard my parents arguing.  
_

_"Paula please don't do this to our daughter again."_

"_Arthur this girl is a bad influence on Spencer."  
_

_"How do you know that?" He questions with disgusted.  
_

_"I saw how close they've become, so I did some research. This girl has been in and out of trouble since grade school plus her father is a convict." My dad slams his hand against the wall and me and my mother jumps. _

_"Paula Don't Preach!" he yells. " You're so afraid that she's going to be what you don't want her to be that you make everyone else into something they're not, just to keep them away from her!"  
_

_"It's a mother's job to guide their child Arthur, even if they don't want to be led." She walks out after and that must have been when she met up with Candy. _

_I closed my eyes and cry myself to sleep. As much as I hated being Debbie's slave, I hated being without Candy even more._

* * *

_I don't believe my mother ever did research on Debbie and if she did her dad is a cop. He is good at keeping her record clean, even minor things from a school record. I was Debbie slave for two years and she swore it was because I had hurt Candy, but she hadn't talked to Candy since I became her slave. I know she did this because she hates how much Candy loves me and not her; even though, she swears she isn't a lesbian. Plus Candy stopped talking to Debbie after she found out she stole her booth pictures and has been blackmailing me with them._

_I graduate high school and go to Ohio State University, Columbus, for the two years I was Debbie's errand girl until I decided to transfer to USC. I told my mother it was because I wanted to be in the best Psychology program, but it was to get away from her and Debbie. I'm tired of being enslaved by both of them. My mother was all against it arguing that she got her Psychology degree from Ohio State University, Columbus, but my dad convinced her otherwise. I don't know how he did it but he did.  
_

_End of Flashback  
_I don't know why I kept this picture here, Debbie and I were never friends. We took this picture together when my mom made us at my eighteen birthday party a few days after she showed up at my door. I guess it would look suspicious to my mom if I didn't have the picture here. I place the frame back in its original spot and lay down on the bed inhaling all of Ashley.

_3 years earlier_

_I woke up to an empty spot next to me and I'm not surprised to not find Ashley there. I took her talk of being 'hopelessly devoted' and moving in to be something she borrowed from a fairy tale. Come on, who moves in with someone on the first day of meeting them? I walk into the kitchen with nothing on and don't care to put anything on at the moment when I hear my front door open. Too shocked to move I stand there in all my nakedness wondering who it can be. I am pleasantly surprised and relieved to see a smiling brunette wearing a white netted sweater and a burnt orange bra underneath with matching burnt orange lipstick, nails, and boots, with stone wash blue jeans. I am taken out my thoughts by the three men who come in behind Ashley. I run to the bedroom slam the door and grab my long button up that I forget has been ruin by the brunette the day before.  
_

_"I'm sorry Spence." She bites her lip making it hard to be mad at her. She walks all the way in closing the door behind her. "I didn't know you walked around naked." She says placing both hands to her chest and chuckles, "Which I'm not complaining."  
_

_"Who are those men?" I question with shock still written on my face.  
_

_"They're the moving men." She answers plainly._

"_Moving men?" I retort confused._

"_Yeah, I wanted to add some color to our place. I was worried when you first invited me in, but after seeing what you had in you last night/early morning… I knew you were no plain Jane." I blush. "I brought all of the stuff from my apartment to switch this stuff out and donate it. I'm sure some boring house wife will buy it."_

"_Hey!" I retort.  
She walks up to me placing a gentle kiss on my lips, and runs her finger through my hair until she stops at my chin to look in my eyes. "Not you beautiful." And I blush again.  
_

_"What's that?" I breathe out pointing to the burnt orange gift bag in her hand.  
_

_"Oh this?" She questions as she pulls out a plum gift box and hands it to me.  
_

_I smile as I sit on the bed placing the gift in my lap and lifting the top of the box to golden wrapping paper. I remove the paper to find a burnt orange button up, plum tank, and wine colored shorts. My face drops and my eye brow rises in confusion. "Um, what is this?" I say lifting up the items to her.  
_

_She chuckles and I feel the bed shifts as she sits next to me. "I owed you a new button up." She says with a smirk placing her hand on my knee and I forget my next thought.  
_

_Oh yeah, I clear my throat. "You said you'll buy me a new shirt to replace the one I am wearing…which is white." I say tugging at the shirt I'm wearing while narrow my eyes and she nods while still smiling. "This is not white." I hold up the blouse for emphasis "Plus why the shorts and tank?"  
_

_"And shoes." She says while reaching into the bag pulling out a wine colored box. I open the top and remove the lavender tissue paper to find a pair of strappy burnt orange open toe, five inch heels. I hold them up towards her like I did the last items furrowing my brows.  
_

_"Ash" I question a bit overwhelmed.  
_

_"Awe, I love when you call me Ash." She smirks and I roll my eyes and smile._

"_Ash" I stretch out her name leaning towards her.  
_

_"Spence put the clothes on and let's go to a late, late lunch not so early dinner because I have worked up an appetite and I'm sure you have too." She says with a wink as she stands up and walks out. I shake my head at the retreating figuring._

_We pull up to the cutest little restaurant with Christmas white lights that traces the bushes along with the white fence. There are brown garden fences with bright green vines around them. we walk up to the three small white stairs on the side that lead us to the restaurant that looks like a cozy grandmother's house, at the top of it in purple letters it spells out 'Grub'. Once inside we seat ourselves and I look around to the colorful atmosphere of orange, yellow, and green chairs and tables. The cheerful waitress comes with a small wooden basket with mini pretzels, thick carrot stick, and a small tin of ranch dressing. I dipped my carrot into the ranch and moan at the taste; I have never tasted a carrot so crisp and sweet and the ranch is rich, creamy, and light. Ash smiles at me.  
"We grow them in our garden." The server says pointing to the carrots in the basket that I haven't devoured yet. I nod with a smile and she mimics the act taking out her pad to take our order. _

_A few minutes later she returns with the 'big ass pancake' stuffed with cheddar cheese and 'crack bacon' me and Ash split the pancake and she gives me the bigger half. I smile at her, she smiles back. All that is heard is chewing and moans of pleasure until I speak.  
_

_"Are you seriously moving in?" I ask with a mouth full of sweet, salty, and savory pancake.  
_

_She raises a brow "I thought we discussed this already." She says with a smirk.  
_

_"I didn't think you were serious." I say and she looks a bit offended. "I mean it's illogical for two people to move in so quickly."  
_

_"It's illogical for two people who know they're supposed to be together to wait 18 months, a year, or even 3 months to move in… to make it logical." She says the last part with air quotes. "Feelings and logic cancel each other out. Sometimes people are so worried about analyzing what is real they forget to feel." She says while taking another bite of her half of the pancake.  
_

_End flash back_

I don't know what it was about Ashley, but she seemed so confident and passionate about the possibility of us that it made me feel the same. We've been together three years going on four and this is the only relationship my mother hasn't broken up. I feel the tears in my throat and I sit up to try to shake them off. I get out of the bed taking my bun out and running my finger through my blonde wavy locks as I pace around the room until I'm in front of the heart shaped picture fame. I try to hold the tears that are forming in my eyes as I sit back on the bed with the frame in hand.

_8 years earlier_

_My mother hugs me goodbye and tries not to cry in front of me. She walks away from me heading to lock herself in her room. I am standing in the room that's been mine for twenty years. I stand next to the window and look at the boring room's beige carpet, the bare walls, and the bed cover and sheets. I smile as I think of all the bright memories I have shared with Rudy and Candy, my smile fades when I think about the last few years I shared in here with Debbie.  
_

"_Honey?" My dad calls from the door and I turn to face him. "All your stuff is packed and ready to go, are you ready?" he question leaning more into the doorway, I nod but don't move. "Can I come in?" He questions and I nod with tears threatening to fall._

_He wraps his arms around me as I bury my face in his chest while he places his chin on top of my head. "Honey, you don't have to move across the country to be yourself. Just know when you're ready to face your mom I will be here to see you through." He kisses my forehead and wipes away my tears as we walk to the car. _

_Before entering the car he speaks again. "I wanted to give you something for when you feeling nostalgic." He hands me a plum colored wrapped gift that I open with excitement leaving no paper whole. I look down at the homemade book and flip through the pages. "All my recipes, so you can have a taste of home whenever you need it. _

_I jump into his arms hug him a little longer this time. I look into his loving eyes and know everything is going to be just fine.  
_

_I get into the taxi and he smiles at me. "Spence, Remember I am here whenever you're ready." He says then closes the taxi door._

_I lean back and say goodbye to my slavery and hello to my freedom._

_End of flashback_

"You said you would be here and I wouldn't have to face this alone, but you're not here. Oh God, why aren't you here? Why aren't you here?" My voice is cracking as my throat becomes sore and dry. I hold the picture tight to my chest, close my eyes, and breathe in deeply as the tears start to fall freely.

* * *

A/N: What did you think? Who made you mad, sad, annoyed, happy, laugh, cry? tell me any and everything about your thoughts and feelings about this chap.


	6. Mother May I? No You May Not!

**A/N:** Hello beautiful readers, I missed you, did you miss me? I want to start off by thanking all my reviewers, your reviews were so wonderful to read (still smiling because of them) To all my **consistent reviewers**, you know who you are, this chap is for you.

**Special Thanks** to my Beta Sonnoc, I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you for reading and rereading.

**Next Update:** Life is really coming at me, so much to do so little time but I will keep updating this story. Updates will varie from a week- a month. Hope you lovely reader stick with me.

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

Chap 5: Mother May I? No You May Not!

*Ashley*

I stare at the bare beige walls in disgust while lying still on my side. I try to hold myself together with every slow breath I take. No matter how much I breathe the air is ahead of me, I can't catch up. I close my eyes and press down on my lips with the same intensity. I refuse to move again.

_An hour ago_

"_Ash, are you ok?" The older blonde asks me, I guess she's truly concerned. I try to force something out as a reply. _

"_Yeah" Is all I can breathe out while holding my side. The pain always cuts through me whenever I'm nauseous, like the sharp golden toe stilettos that my mother kicked me with._

"_Why are your shoes and blazer on the floor?" The nosey blonde questions, I guess whatever concern she had went as fast as it came. _

_Seriously bitch? It's my house I can shit in the sink or piss in the flowers if I want. Okay, that's nasty, but come on Paula! I don't mean to call her a bitch, in my head of course, but I don't feel good. Can't she just call me Kit Kat and give me a break?_

_"Ash." I am called out of my nightmare of Paula staying longer than a day._

"Yes, Spencer" I reply still in a daze and she looks a bit taken aback. Did I just really call her Spencer?

"_Ashley, why don't you go in your room and lay down for a while" Spence says with apologetic eyes.  
_

_I give her a thankful look before speeding to the room, flopping on the foreign bed, and breathe in deeply to try to catch my breath. I rub my fingers against my side as the sharp pain cuts through me. I shut my eyes tight, shake my head, and bite down on my lip before hopping to my feet. _

"_Ashley you have to get a hold of yourself. You have to be there to support your babe." I nod to myself in agreement.  
_

_I am back to lying on the bed. I went from sitting to standing to lying. I know I need to go and support Spence, but it's like that saying if a plane is crashing a mother's first instinct is to give oxygen to her child; however, the mother should get the oxygen first in order to be alert when the child needs more support. I can't breathe air into Spence's lungs if my own are weak._

_I'm standing in front of the closed door trying to open it with my thoughts, it's not working. I guess it will make more sense to open it with my hands. I look at the palms of my hands and mentally tell them that they can do this. I place one hand against the door for support while the other one is on the door knob. I twist it and once it opens I swear I hear the "Hallelujah" song along with cheers and fireworks. I put on my best fake smirk and make my way down the hall to the corner before entering the kitchen. I can hear my heart beat in my ears until Paula's voice laced with sarcasm overshadows it._

_"Your girlfriend seems really nice, Spence." Paula says_

"She's not my girlfriend." Her harsh tone crushes every piece of strength I have.

_I have walked straight into the bullet that breaks through the skin of my chest shattering my heart to pieces. I thought my body would land next to the pieces that were scattered on the floor, but my feet must have had a mind of their own as they stumbled back towards the room closing the door softly behind me._

_End flashback_

"I won't leave this room again." I say again softly to myself for the last hour. I'll allow these beige walls, strange bed, and my thoughts to become my asylum. I can't escape the feelings that are tearing through me, so I'll crawl past them to bury myself to rest.

Spence and I have planned to lie to her mom and that isn't surprising. I am foolish in thinking it isn't a lie but more of not telling the whole truth. I had a rude realization by hearing her lie without me. It feels like a betrayal I'm not sure we can come back from. I am taken out my thoughts when I hear the door open.

"Baby are you asleep?" I keep my eyes shut while holding my breath, fearing that if she hears me breathing she'll know I'm not actually asleep. I hear her step out closing the door behind her and I can hear her walk into the room we once shared.

She's gone faster than she came. I have never ignored Spence; I honestly never thought I would. I do not know how to face her, I'm afraid of what she'll see when she sees me seeing her…differently. Streams of tears roll down my cheeks then connect at my chin before dripping against my chest. I inhale deeply; air won't grant me even the slightest sense of relief.

I turn on my back letting a puff of air hit the ceiling. I rub my temples; I can't believe she didn't come to wake me, if she really thought I was sleeping, to make sure I was okay. Doesn't she know how much her kisses mean to me? Who knows how long it will be before I taste, bite, lick, or suck on her lips. I need her arms around me. I have to feel some connection to her…anything. She's only in the next room, but it feels like we're galaxies away.

I sit up placing my face in my hands before sliding them down and around to the back of my neck. I lean back on the bed placing my crossed hands on my stomach. I don't know what to do. I usually do my thinking or release my stress by snuggling into my babe while vanilla and mint overtakes me. People say walks usually help, I giggle to myself. I can see it now trying to walk past Paula the gate keeper with a plaster smile

'_Where are you going dear?' She'll questions with sadistic grin._

_'Oh you know I need to take a walk to get over the fact that you're clam jamming emotionally and physically.' I'll say back with a challenging grin._

I shut my eyes as tight as I can while trying to stop my thoughts from running amuck. I mentally pick at the flower in my heart asking if 'she loves me or she loves me not.' Time seems to be moving so slow or maybe too fast. I instantly open my eyes when I hear sobbing, with no hesitation I jump to my feet and run to me and Spence's room.

I get to the door and wipe the tears from my eyes and try to save my breathing to be able to give whatever air I have left to her. I caress the plum colored door that will unlock the room we have made so much love in. Spence and I have loved each other with every smile, kiss, and conversation. I breathe in before I enter the room to see a sight that I never thought I would see...blue eyes cradled by red. They're so puffy they almost take over the bottom part of her eyeballs. I look down at her holding onto the picture of her and her father. She is sobbing that he lied to her, he left her behind, and she needs him. I sit next to her on our bed while she turns to face my brown eyes with her bloodshot ones. Her lips tremble before she cries into me.

I stroke her hair "It's going to be okay baby. He's always with you and I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

I place her head on my lap while she still clings to the picture. I slowly remove the frame. "shhh." I place small kisses along her neck before kissing away her tears. She does a few short gasps before kissing my lips. She holds her lips against mine and I can taste her searching for a feeling that I'm not sure I can give her…strength. She releases my lips to face the remaining picture frames on the dresser. I go to kiss the top of her forehead, but I am rejected by her moving away slightly.

"My mother can walk in at any minute." She says without bothering to face me. I scoff in disbelief that she could even-

"Is everything ok-?" The intruder questions as she walks in, without knocking, with a demanding grin. "Oh, Ash I didn't know you were in here." She says with knowing eyes. Ain't nobody got time for that.

"Yeah, I came in to check on Spence." I give a forced smile.

"Oh, that's funny. She said she was coming to check on you." She pauses. "mhm, in the next room actually." Ok, imma need 'inspector garget' bitch to go find Penny and leave us the hell alone.

"She did come to look for me, but I was asleep until I heard her weeping."

"What's wrong dear?" She smiles at a non responsive Spencer before eyeing the heart frame that's face down on the bed. I move it behind me and answer.

"Spence has such a huge heart that she always gets choked up before going to the homeless shelter." I lie.

I'm sure Spence wouldn't want to upset her mom by bringing up her late husband, plus I don't have the energy to console both of them at the moment. I look down at my watch not really checking the time.

"Wow, it's getting late; we better get going everyone is waiting on us."I look at Paula who nods then walks out.

Spence gets up, walks over to the dresser to grab her gray USC sweater, a pair of dark blue gap jeans, and her white K Swiss out the closet. I smile meekly at her back as she walks out the bedroom to the bathroom. I put my head back and sigh as I support my weak body with the palm of my hands on each side of me. After a few minutes I stand up to walk over to the dresser to find a change of clothing.

Once I step out the room I find Paula and Spencer talking... yet again. I slightly smile at how beautiful my girl looks with her hair pulled up into a pony tail, with no makeup, sweat shirt and jeans. She's breathtaking, but I am still infuriated with her.

"Honey, why where you so surprised that I am staying longer than a day?" My smile fades at the question addressed to my girlfriend. "When I walked in your girl-" Spence cuts her off with a look that turns my already shattered heart into dust. "Ashley" she corrects. "took more than one bag from me."

"Mom, you always say be prepared. I thought the extra bags were for if you wanted to do an outfit change in the middle of dinner." The younger blonde shrugs her shoulders.

The older blonde lets out a hardy laugh followed by a light sigh. "Spence you always had such a colorful imagination." She says before exiting into the bathroom.

Spence looks at the place where her mother stood with a look in her eyes of crushed dreams. I knew she was thinking about Rudy and Candy. She then looks at me and we share a small knowing smile.

We pull up to the front of the mission where the familiar smell of dried urine, tears, and lost hope sweep into the car from the streets. I bet Paula wishes she didn't change into a beige lace dress with white strap up open toe heels. Really, who does that?

The most casual anyone will see me is when I go to the mission. I'm wearing my red UCLA Sweater with my red Nikes, and black D & G jeans. I park into the same spot I have parked in for six years.

We step out the car, walk to the truck, and grab out the food bags, I do while Spence follows as Paula stands there trembling, since she refuse to wear a jacket.

I increase my speed so Spence won't have a chance to catch up to me. When I reach the mission I let a small smile appear. It's amazing how this place brings me joy.

"Is the mission closed?" Paula asks while rubbing her palm up and down her shoulder to her wrist.

"Yes Paula, we come to feed the people who haven't been admitted to the program, the ones who stay in the tents. I say with an annoyed smile.

"You ladies come out here twice a year to do this?" the freezing blonde asks and I take off my sweater to extend it to her while revealing my black long sleeve shirt underneath.

"That's ok, honey" she barely stutters out between all the trembling

"Go ahead take it, my long sleeve is warm enough. Besides I just wear this sweeter to make Spence mad." I say with a genuine smile before I turn to the babe that I want to smirk at so bad but decide against it.

"Ok." Paula snatches the sweater from my hand, tosses it on, and giving herself a bear hug all in one motion. "Thank you." she says with a sigh of relief.

"No worries, I have worn less out here." I grab the bags off the ground. "Shouldn't LA cold be nothing compare to Ohio cold? I ask with a raised brow.

"That would be true, if it wasn't for Arthur insisting that we spend the last few years in the Bahamas more than Ohio, so I'm not really use to any kind of cold weather ." Her face drops a little before she turns to Spence "Why does this sweater make you mad honey?" The older blonde changes the subject by questions her mini me.

"UCLA and USC are competitors and besides Ash didn't even go to the school, she just wears it to tease me." Spence finishes with her brat combo; I get a chill that makes my eyes roll back a little before biting my lip. I shake it off remembering that I am mad at her.

"That's exactly why it shouldn't bother you if I wear it." I say with a teasing smirk that fades when I remember why I am mad at her. I turn my face from her to continue to walk towards the tents, I catch a glimpse of her face before it drops.

"I only come here twice a year. Ashley comes here every day after work to bring her leftover sandwiches, snacks, and salads, and if she's out of left over she'll pick up some food to bring." I turn around to see Spence tell her mom with a proud smile that makes me smile a little.

"Wow, Ashley that's amazing." Paula comments with a smile matching her daughters.

"It's nothing." I say honestly." It's really my duty more than my privilege. I feel I owe this place so much. I look out to the green gates that close in the pink three story building.

_9 years earlier_

_I watched ten number 16 buses pass as I stand at the smoke filled bus stop. I choke on the smoke coming from the inconsiderate bastard standing by the no smoking sign outside of the Greek restaurant, that's across the street from the Beverly Center. I look at the mall and sigh as I inhale the scent of roasted lamb while my stomach quivers and groans. I accidently brush against my side, that's black and purple with stain blood clots when trying to rub my stomach._

"What?" I yell to the innocent bystanders looking at my bruise that's hard to miss with the crop top I'm wearing. "Take a picture it will last longer." I spit out before hopping on the bus.

"That will be a dollar twenty five ma'am or three dollars for an all day pass." the older butter brown skin man with salt and paper hair says.

I stand up from the seat to walk up to him. "You pay to ride this thing? I always thought it was free, come one who would pay to be on this?" I question before looking at the bus filled with people of all ages, sizes, and colors.

_I have been in a car since before I could walk, so until now a bus was a bit of an urban legend to me. I smile shyly at the different faces before placing my hands in my empty pockets, that I am very well aware of them being empty, I pull out nothing and smile at the man. _

"_I don't have any money." I say meekly._

"Then you have to get off the bus." He says in a tired tone. He probably has to deal with people with no money all the time.

I try to plead with him with my eyes but he won't face me. The bus comes to a stop and I hesitate to turn around. I make my way to the three small steps that lead out the bus door.

_"Wait." I hear a soft voice. I turn to see the older woman. "I'll pay for her." She gives me such a nurturing smile that I have never seen from my own mother. I smile back at her as I step back on the bus. "Come back here with me deary." The older woman waves to me and I follow her slow slither. The bus driver allows the older woman to take her seat before taking off.  
__  
__"Thank you." I say with tears in my eyes._

_"No worries deary. God blesses us so we can bless others" she says with an assuring smile._

_"I don't know if God thinks about me." I look out the bus window passing the many buildings I've never seen. I have a feeling we're not in Beverly anymore._

_"Nonsense child. He worries about all his children just like any parent would." I look at her head full of white, pale skin, slender pink lips, and blue bright eyes._

_Parents aren't the best example to make me feel that God cares about me, but this woman has come from some place of love, so why not God?_

_"Does he worry about his gay children?" I ask in a weak voice, I don't have enough energy to be angry at what answer she might give me._

_"God loves all his children the same, its people who hate and divide." She smiles brightly. "God makes no mistakes and we are all images from his beautiful hands that he carries us in." she wipes the single tear that rolls down my cheek._

_I feel a sense of peace wash over me as a hopeful smile appears across my face._

_"Are you hungry?" The older woman hold up a loaf of jalapeño cheddar bread and my stomach groans as a reply. The older woman smiles, "Here you go deary." she hands me half of the loaf and a small carton of milk._

"_Barbara." She smiles at me._

"_Ashley." I smile back.  
_

_Barbara and I talk the whole ride. She tells me how she is originally from Canada. She came out here forty years ago because the love of her life always wanted to live in LA. She tells me that they been together fifty years until he passed last year._

_"When you find that one... Never let them go. Man or woman, it doesn't matter, you never let them escape because love is rare. Love is not like finding fish in the sea…it's more like catching a mermaid. You never let them go… you hear me Ashley?" She grabs my hand while looking directly in my eyes. I swallow around the lump in my throat before nodding in agreement._

_She pulls the wire for the stop and my heart beats rapidly against my chest as my eyes widen. She gets up, which I do the same as I grab her bags to help her out the door.  
_

_I can't let her go yet. I walk with her to a pink building surrounded by a green gate. She walks inside as I follow with her bags in my hand._

"Who is your friend?" The Latino man in his thirties with a buzz cut asks with a wink. I make an ew face as my bread and milk threatens to resurface.

'_This is Ashley, and she's not interested… Ricky Ricardo." She smirks at his face that's red from embarrassment. I laugh so hard my side starts to hurt. "Oh dear, let's get some ice for that."_

_I am supposed to check in to see if I even qualify for the program, but Barbara is like the mother of the mission. Before her husband died they used to donate a lot of time and money here, so no one questions anything she does. After going to the kitchen for some ice I lie on the spare bed in Barbara's room. The bed is free because Barbara refuses to share a room until now._

_Barbara made living at the Mission a breeze; honestly I could share a cardboard box with her and be happy. She's the mother I never had and I am the daughter she never had. She's always in good spirits that lift mine. Only time we would argue is when she won't eat or go to doctor._

_"Barbara you old bat! Why are you so stubborn?" I spit at her_

_"Because when you get to be my age you no longer need to be as cute as a show pony." I narrow my eyes and mouth 'what'. "Only thing left for an old girl to be is a mule." She laughs. I try to not laugh with her. My lips go against me as they tremble in protest._

"_Ugh! You make me sick." I tease._

"Not as sick as I am, right?" she jokes.

_My face drops as I walk in front of her to kneel down. "Barbara I need you, if you're not going to go see about your heath for you… please go for me." I pout._

"Alright, alright… you and that pouty lip and puppy dog eyes, no wonder I didn't have children… I am too much of a softy." We share a smile.

_I have been at the shelter for three months and I can say I finally know what being blessed means. It's Halloween and I am in awe staring at everyone having such a good time, as if they have no worries in the world._

_"Why you standing there with that goofy look on your face?" Barbara who's dressed in a witch costume, questions._

"It's just amazing." I reply in a daze.

"_What is deary?" She smiles wide.  
_

"_I have seen people in their forty thousand dollar costumes, stand in their million dollar houses, giving away amounts of money most people will kill for, not wearing half of the smile that these people are."_

"Oh deary, happiness doesn't come from the outside it comes from within." She places her hand over my heart. "No one or nothing can make you as happy as you can. People make the mistake of trying to find someone to make them happy when they need to be looking for someone to share in the happiness they already have, as well as sharing in the happiness that person has to give." She looks out to the people carving pumpkins, eating candy, telling ghost stories and smiling. "These people are happy because their spirits are free, unlike the people you used to be around who sell their spirits for temporary happiness."

" I thought Christians didn't celebrate Halloween?" I tease.

"A day is what you make it deary, I don't make it to be the devils day." She says the last part with the quote unquote gesture. "For me Halloween has always been about having grand fun with the people you love, plus I love to create, so I enjoyed making my own costumes. She smiles at me. "Come on." She waves to me.

"Where are we going?" I question, which she hates.

"Don't you know how to follow sometimes?" she smacks her lips.

"I follow you all the time." I laugh.

"Well good, you have to follow first before you can lead." She continues to slither. I don't know what that has to do with anything. Who said anything about leading? "I thought we watch some good ol' vampire movies and I'll make my famous popcorn. I lick my lips at the thought of Barbara's popcorn. She looks back at me with a smile. "This time I'll show you how to make it." I jump up then start to do a happy dance by waving my hands, twisting my hips, and shaking my hair in front of my face. "Girl is you having an exorcism? I know its Halloween, but that's no reason to get possessed." She smirks before turning back to slither. I shake my head and follow.

Three more months pass, Barbara and I are laying in our separate bed in the dark. I'm on my back facing the ceiling while Barbara faces the wall opposite from me. The shelter's on lock down because a woman tried to steal another woman's fruit cup, causing her to get smacked in the head with a tray. No matter how much food is donated there's never enough.

_End of Flashback_

"I thought you forgot about us child." The old cinnamon colored woman says with the brightest smile on her face.

"Never Ms. Rose… just was a little busy that's all." I smile warmly. The woman places her hand on my face while her eyes tell me everything will be just fine. All the frustration earlier is temporarily removed

"Who is your new friend in her fancy clothes?" She smiles at the older blonde. The frustrations are back.

"Hello I'm Paula, Spencer's mom." The blonde answers while waving with one hand and holding the sweater close to her with the other.

"Spencer, Ashley's better half?" I see Spence tense up right in her spot where she's handing one of the men his food as he reaches aimlessly for it. I clear my throat and she finally gives the man the food. "Before these two-"

"Here you go" Scared of what she might say next I cut her off by handing her a plate..

"Thank you Ashley. Now, what was I saying…oh yeah, before Spence came along all we used to get for a holiday meal was warm jalapeño bread and milk."

I place my hand to my heart in mock offense. "Ms. Rose" I finish with a gasp.

"You know I enjoyed it, but the little lady can get down in the kitchen. I look over to Spence who's blushing.

*Spencer*

After feeding everyone outside of the mission I sit on the trunk of the car with my mother and watch the love of my life. Watching Ashley is like watching a sun rise, you know it's beautiful but it still steal your breath away while giving it back to you in a single motion. I watch her lift their sprits by laughing, joking, and dancing with them, yes dancing. After feeding them Ash always turns on a song from her iPod and has her very own karaoke hour. Even though she's smiling now I know she's upset with me. I let out a puff of air, I don't know how to make it better, or if I can.

"What did that lady mean by you being Ashley's better half?" My mother questions and I don't even look in her direction as my smile fades.

"She was joking mom. They have that type of relationship." I say plainly. I am too tired to put any energy into a better lie. I can't wait until this day is over. Maybe I can get some rest and hopefully if she let me …cuddle up to my favorite girl. We share a glance and she looks away angry. I let out a heavy sigh, I'm not sure if that cuddle is going to happen.

The ride home is painfully quiet while I try to sneak my hand into Ashley's, but she moves it away. I look into the rear view mirror to make sure my mother is still sleeping. I try to reach for Ash's hand again. Once again I am rejected as she pushes her lips out while squeezing them tightly together, something she does when she's really upset.

"Ashley please!" My voice cracks as I plead.

Her demeanor softens a little and I take this opportunity to reach for her hand again this time she lets me. I place her hand to my lips and kiss it softly. She looks over to me and I try to reassure her of my feeling through my eyes.

"Spence you can't just kiss my hand while sexing me with your eyes and think everything will be alright." I wipe a small tear from my face. "As much as I want your body I want your love, your respect, your loyalty." She says in a sad tone and I feel like a complete jerk.

"I'm sorry…I'll try to do better." I look in her sad brown eyes with my watery blues.

She rubs her thumb over my knuckles "That's a start." She places a soft kiss on my knuckles. She flashes me a smile before speaking again. "Sleeping beauty had a long day." she smirks.

"Not as long as our day." I let out a huff of cool air that feels good against my flustered face.

The longer we drive the lighter the tension gets between us. I hold on to Ash's hand for dear life, giving her reassuring squeeze every once in a while for me more than her. The drive from Downtown LA to Beverly Hills isn't a far drive, especially at this time of night. I think Ashley is taking her time because this is the most relaxation we've had all day.

I look at her lovingly and she nibbles on her bottom lip before leaning in to whisper "I can't wait to take all my frustration out on you tonight." She raises a brow and my insides shiver up to my eyes that roll back a little. She continues to drive once the red light we're sitting at turns green.

I'm excited to bury her face into my walls and let her devour me. I want to give her all of me. I want to show her that every inch of me belongs to her. I haven't touched Ashley or haven't had her touch me in this long since, since, since, never.

Whenever I am stressed, which is usually, Ash will slowly lay me down wherever we are in the house, kiss every inch of my body before sliding up my dress or down my pants, taking off my soaked panties, and burying her head between my thighs while caressing my breast. She will make all my frustrations go away as she makes passionate love to me. I need that, I need her hands all over me…I need her.

We pull up to the apartment; I hop out so fast and head for the stairs that lead to the apartments.

"Spence!" My girlfriend calls after me. "Forgetting something?" she leans her head in the direction of my mother who's still sleeping in the back seat.

I blush before running to the back door. "Mom, wake up."

When we get inside where we already have our shower schedules set out. My mother will shower first then Ashley then me. It's so hard to shower without Ashley. Right now one arm would be wrapped around each other's wet body while the other hand is buried in each other's folds. Mhm, I moan at the thought next to my mother hoping she didn't hear me. After Ashley exits the bathroom I run in to take the quickest shower I ever have, for one to rescue Ash from my mom and for two to have my girl all to myself.

When walking out the bathroom I giggle at my mom's silk nightgown, with matching silk robe that both have feather collars, and fuzzy open toe heel house shoes. I would think she would be sick of open toe heels after freezing tonight. I look at Ashley who has her curls caressing her face as she bites her lips. She has so much lust in her eyes that mirrors the lust in mine. She's wearing a light blue tank, _no bra…mmmm_, with white short, shorts that if she bends over I'll get a small peak of her cute cheeks, _please bend_ _over_. I walk over to grab my girl's hand when I am side stepped by my mom.

"Honey" I look at her trying to hide my frustration.

"Yes." I say with a hard smile. Ash smacks her teeth a little and I know she's as, if not more flustered than me right now.

"I thought me and you would sleep together?"

"What?!" Ash and I say in unison.

"Mom don't you want your own space to be able to spread out and get comfortable?" I desperately question.

"It can be like our old mommy daughter times. There's some ice cream in the freezer." She smiles. I am about to protest but the sound in her voice with the next sentence gets to me. "It's just been so long since I spent time with you." _Ugh! Haven't we just spent all day together?_ I look at Ashley and she gives me a confirming head nod.

*Ashley*

I flop down on the bed, grab a pillow, place it over my face, and scream into it. I never thought for one, Paula would be staying longer than a day, and for two, taking my space in my bed. I can't deal. I am so horny right now, fuck! All my toys are locked away in me and Spence's room. I guess, good ol' fingers will have to do. I slide my fingers in my white shorts and brush against my already sensitive clit as I enter my soaking folds. I moan at the contact I think of Spencer's blue eyes and rub a little faster moaning a bit more heavy. I see her licking her pink lips and I'm almost there until… Paula sneaky smile pops in my head.

I stop... I begin tapping my fingers against my second pair of lips as I chew on my lip. After a few seconds of fighting the temptation to continue I decide to cum to the image of Paula .

I feel a little dirty after until I think of Spence's theory… 'You're attracted to what causes you pain and sometimes embarrassment. It goes back to having such an abusive mother. Not saying you want to sleep with her; however, your mind has come to the conclusion that pleasure and pain is one in the same.' Well, that explains my attraction to Paula earlier today. Spence used me as her case study for her dissertation.

I lie there tossing and turning, I can't go to sleep. I nibble my lip then grab my large baby blue purse to pull out my hot pink iphone to send Spence a text. I hope her phone is near her.

_Ashee Bear: I miss you  
_

_Spence Kitten: I need you :(  
_

_Ashee Bear: Yay! You replied :) I need you more :(_

Spence kitten: Baby, I have to go my mother is lurking …so sorry

I lay the phone next to me as I think back of how we got our ridiculous nicknames and a smile spreads across my face.

_3 years earlier_

_Spence and I have been living together for three months now. She's so adorable, everyday she says I am going to sleep in my room, but she invites me or I come into her bed. I don't even have furniture in my room. I giggle to myself.  
_

"_What are you thinking about?" I turn around to the voice that's sent from haven._

_I smirk, "thinking about you naked." I wiggle my brows._

She shakes her head before placing one foot in front of the other as she seductively walks forward. She licks her lip before taking her bottom lip in under her teeth. "You spoke it into existence so now I have to make it come true."

_She unbuttons her blouse, tosses it, and then unfastens her belt before tossing her pants. She runs her fingers through her hair lifting it to the top of her head while I stare in awe. I tackle her to the ground pulling off her panties and bra before ripping off my clothes._

The sun has gone down as I lay my chin on my girl's chest while she runs her fingers through my hair.

_"How long have we been down here?" she asks in a lazy voice_

_I look up at the clock. "You were going to get morning coffee when we started and now it's night time, so a while." I wink then rotate my tongue on her neck followed by kisses._

_"Baby stop." She whines while pulling my hair a little, which makes me suck on her neck, causing her to let out a husky moan._

_I lay back on her chest while looking into her sleepy eyes. "Babe." She tilts her head for me to continue. I let out a small sigh. I don't know why I'm nervous, we live together, we sleep together, but I guess this is serious. "I want to take you out on a date Spence." I breathe out._

_A wide smile spreads across her face. "What, no song and dance?"_

_I playfully smack her arm." Spence." I pout and she kisses it away. "I couldn't think of a song and dance fast enough." I whine._

_She bites her lip and thinks for a minute. "What about when you took me to 'The Grub' or all the other food places." She inquires._

_I laugh. "Spence, I was feeding you because come on babe, you got to eat after such a heavy workout." I wink. "I would never have a date with you without asking first, so I am asking."_

_She licks her lips before smiling again. "I would love to go out on a date with you Ashley Davies." I give her grin that reveals all of my teeth._

_"Good, tomorrow at 6?" she nods."I'll have a car pick you up." I say never taking my eyes off of the flawless sight in front of me._

_Its Halloween my favorite day and I wouldn't want my first date with the woman who makes my heart sing to be on any other day. I know Spence stresses for no reason, so I thought a bit of fun would be good for her. Plus she told me her mother never let her dress up and she hasn't celebrated the day since she moved to LA, so I want to give her a chance to experience the day I love so much._

_I'll have the car drive her to the 'Hollywood Toys & Costume' shop two hours before our date and an hour after I'll leave. The place will be crazy crowed, but the owner is a regular customer of mine so she'll give Spence the same fast pass treatment as me. _

_Six o'clock strikes and even in all this fur I am freezing from my nerves as I stand in front of 'The Pleasure Chest.' My mouth drops as my blonde beauty steps out the car with teased hair, blood red lip stick, a cat mask over her eyes, cat ears, and a sleeveless full leather body suit, with one leg bare. Along with leather up the arm gloves and leather seven inch heels. I walk over to her in a daze with birds of paradise, her favorite flower, in my hand. She takes them and looks down at them lovingly._

"_Thank you." she smiles at me and I mimic the gesture._

"Wow, Spence I look like a fool compare to you." I say taking in all her sex appeal.

"Ash, I feel like a cliché with this on." She says looking at the ten girls walking into the shop with full leather body suits."

_I giggle earning me a stern look. "I'm not laughing at you Spence…" I pause. I look her up and down. "I'm not laughing at you Spence kitten." She raises her brow. "Those women aren't in costume; they're the entertainment for the S&M show." Her eyes widen. I snuggle into her neck "I thought we could learn some things." She blushes and turns away, I turn her face back to me kissing her lips softly. I grab her flowers placing them in the back seat of the car. She locks her arms with mine as we head for the door._

_"Does this mean I call you Ashee bear?" She says while looking at my white five piece suite with red bow tie, huge fuzzy brown bear ears, feet, and hands. She kisses my small bear nose._

_I smirk "I told you can call me anything you want."_

"_I don't think you look like a fool, I think you look adorable." She says with a loving smile. I'm not used to looking adorable; I'm more of a sexy kind of girl. I'm sure Spence is not used to dressing this sexy either. It's funny how we bring out different sides in each other._

_When inside the shop Spence is frozen in her spot. She takes in the dim lights of the two story shop, that has red walls and against those walls are different color and material dildos, different kinds of lubes, whips, chains, and a huge porn section upstairs. I've been to many sex shops and 'Pleasure Chest' is the one to be at. It is the best, and Spence deserves the best, plus this shop is sexy with the right amount of dirty just like her._

_"What, there aren't any sex shops in Kansas? I tease_

_"Ha, Ha, Ha, Very funny." She says dryly. "I don't think they have any in Ohio." She says narrowing her eyes at me while crossing her arms. "Even if they did with my mother and slave master Debbie I wouldn't have been able to go."_

_"Well, you're in for a treat Dorothy." She smacks my arm playfully as I pull her upstairs to the show._

_After the show we buy some glass dildos, leather paddles, steel hand cuffs, lube, and a few feathers that we place in the car. We walk to our next portion of the date. Since Spence never got to see got to see Halloween and even if she did I'm sure Ohio can't do it like LA. I decide to take her to the biggest Halloween party ever…the streets of WeHo. _

_We walk around West Hollywood seeing homemade mermaid costumes where the woman is pulled in a giant wagon fish bowl. We see Jack in the box, McDonalds, the king from Burger King, and the Wendy's girl all together. Spence doesn't care too much for crowds so I keep her on the inside of me so no one will bump her; even though, she's not a fan of crowds she's a fan of the site. Half naked men and women. She lights up with excitement from all the new sights. She smiles wide as she has me take pictures of her and the drag queens. _

_As we walk down the street people from the roof of their homes throw down all kinds of candy and the crowd goes wild. We get to the end of the block where Madonna drag queen impersonators are doing the song 'Vogue'. They pull me up on stage, once on stage I reach for Spence who tries to protest but I grab up anyway and we vogue. Once the song is over they shoot confetti, fireworks, and release balloons._

"I understand why this day means so much to you now." She shouts over the music.

"Why do you think it means so much to me Spence?" I shout back.

"_Look at how amazing this is Ash." she smiles wide_

_"You are amazing." I smirk. I move in close to her ear."Spence this day means a lot to me because I get to share it with the people I care about. I don't need any grand gestures to make it amazing, but you deserve grand gestures." I pull back a little to look into her eyes._

_She tilts her head. "You are a grand enough gesture for me." she kisses my check._

_After the concert we finally get to Egocentric's annual Halloween party. Spence and I traded shoes because her feet started hurting as soon as we started the walk. She's not use to wearing such high heels like I am._

_I have every moment planned at Ego for my lady and I. I have ghost stories set up to honor her and Rudy's tradition. Then to honor me and Barbara tradition we'll watch real vampire movies since the only vampire movie Spence has seen is "Twilight", then we'll snack on Barbara's famous recipe on the stove garlic, Cajun, rosemary popcorn. _

_I had 'The Grub' delver their big ass pancake for us to split like we did when we made the move in official for our candle light dinner on the roof that overlooks the city. _

_End flash back_

I sigh as I get lost in the thoughts of me and Spence. Maybe we can get through this. Yes, we can get through this! I try to reassure myself before drifting to sleep as I reassure myself over and over again.

*Spence *

"Spence this is so good" My mom says while putting a large spoonfuls of Ash's green tea rice cream in her mouth. "You sure this isn't ice cream?" she questions while pointing her spoon to the now almost empty container. "Did you want some?" She asks with her mouth full.

"Yes, I'm sure it's not ice cream because it's made from rice, _hints the name,_ and not milk." I flash a quick smile. "No thank you, I don't want any." _Like there's any to have _I roll my eyes slightly.

This feels just like old mommy and daughter times with me being miserable while my mother enjoys her cream. Except this time it's even worse since my grown mother and my grown self are sharing a bed instead of me being next to my beautiful girlfriend among other things. I groan inwardly before turning around to look down at my phone. I smile at the picture of Ashley with her paws to her face as she looks away from the camera.

_3 years earlier_

_This was the best date of my life and I want to show Ashley my appreciation by giving her all of me. We came crashing on the door between rough tongue kisses as we tear off each other's animal ears, my gloves, her paws, my mask, her nose,. We're about to do it right there before nosey Ms. Perry comes peeking her whole body out the door. What the what! Ash puts the key in the door slamming me on it with the bag of toys and my flowers in a one hand_

_She kicks closed the door trying to slam me down on the floor and I flip her over and get on top. She likes when I top her, I can tell by the way she smirks up at me. I grab her up by her bow tie; turn her around so she's facing the couch, pull down her pants revealing her red thong. a wide grin to spread across my face as I take the paddle out the bag and release slow long swipes against her cheeks causing her to moan, which I do the same. _

_I lick the red area then kiss it as I remove her blazer, vest, shirt, and bra before licking up her back. I slide her soaked thong down her inner thighs all the way to her ankles. I replace the paddle in my hand with a glass dildo. I place it between her wet lips while sliding the smooth edges against her clit as I tease her while my other hand is on her shoulder squeezing and rubbing it. I am kissing her deeply and she whimpers into my lips. That's all I needed before rotating the dildo in and out of her as her juices drip down it all the way to my hand._

_End of Flashback_

" Spencer.. Spencer…Spencer?" I'm taken out of my thoughts by my mother who's looking directly in my eyes while shaking her head.

"Where did you go just now?" She questions.

"Somewhere I'm not going tonight." I mumble.

"Pardon me?"

"I said I'm sorry mom, I guess I'm tired." I lie with a slight head tilt.

"Maybe we should get some rest she says before turning over."

I lie back on the bed biting down on my bottom lip. I am so frustrated I can't even masturbate. I guess this is my own fault for keeping me and Ash a secret. I don't know how much longer I can go without being next to, under, on top, or in my girlfriend.

I let out a heavy sigh and hope for my sake, I don't know how much more Ashley can take, that thing s will be better tomorrow. I pray that it will over and over again as I drift to sleep.

* * *

A/N: I live off your energy; in other words, the reviews you leave equals the updates you get. Tell me what did you think, love, hate, enjoyed. What did it make you feel or remind you of? Did anything leave you lost? What questions do you have? **Fumbling Towards Ecstasy: **any comments on grammar?**  
Thank you all again for reading (:  
**


	7. Treats, Tricks, and Thieves

I am so excited to finally get this out to you lovely readers. My apologies for the small delay but blah, blah, blah...do you ya really care?

Anywho I hope I get a few kudos for posting my second largest chapter(:

I wanted to welcome all my new readers... Hey! Shout out to **lawsbian**, I see you finally joined the party and thank you for reviewing all of my chapters (:

Special thanks to my beta _**Sonnoc**_ I couldn't do it without you kid (;

I have no idea when the next chapter will be posted seeing as March is a busy month for me. However, I will try not to keep ya waiting too long. Btw my Birthday is coming up and your reviews would be a wonderful gift (;

Enjoy!

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

Treats, Tricks, and Thieves

"_Spence honey, the way to make anything better is by making a meal." He places a plate of apple, banana, cinnamon waffles, my absolute favorite, in front of me._

_I lick my lips as I grab my fork and knife to dive into the warm sweet treat._

"_What are you making better dad? What did you do?" I say with a mouth full of food wondering if he can understand me._

_He lets out a hardy laugh. "I didn't do anything sweetheart; sometimes it's nice to have a precaution meal." We laugh. "We both know how easily upset your mother can get." I nod in agreement. "This is a trait you get from her you know." He points his finger at me._

_"Remind me to thank her for that." I say sarcastically._

_He grabs his unused dish cloth off his shoulder and throws it at me. "It's not that bad, waffle."_

_He's been calling me this since I started eating waffles at the age of two. My dad humors me by making them different every morning._

"_The person who truly loves you will find it quite adorable. I know I find your mother's erratic nature irresistible." He gives a warm smile._

_"Besides this meal isn't made for your mother, it's for you. I woke up with you on my heart this morning." He clears his throat."I haven't seen Candy around lately; doesn't she usually come by at this time?"_

_I look down at the pieces of waffle clinging to my fork as I dunk it in syrup over and over again. I finally look up at my dad with sad eyes._

_"I don't think any meal can make this better and it's much too late for a precaution meal." I give a small smile._

_It's been a month since my mother ran Candy off and I became Debbie's slave. I went against Debbie's demands and risked contacting Candy through text and phone calls, but she never answered. I would have gone to her house but I can never get out of Debbie's sight long enough to do so._

_"Debbie should be here soon, right?" My dad questions with concern in his eyes._

_I nod my head in_

_confirmation__ as I try to hold my food down becoming sick at the thought. _

"_Meals can be gestures or expressions of how you feel. Don't make a meal for just anyone." He gives me a stern look. "I know this advice seems pointless now but good advice never expires."_

_End of Flashback_

I lift up from the bed with a smile on my face. I really don't like how Ashley and I were separated last night and on top of not having wonderful sex we didn't really resolve anything. I have been lying here for a while now thinking of what I can do to make it better and I hope this meal helps. I have always cooked for Ashley as an expression of my love. I never had to make a meal as an apology, but here goes everything.

After washing up I go in the kitchen to get everything ready to make Ash's favorite. I know it won't make things better forever, but at least for a little while…I hope.

*Ashley*

I float out the room to the smell of my favorite breakfast… homemade red velvet French toast, with vanilla bean rice cream that's drizzled with caramel praline. I sit down, close my eyes as I inhale and lick my lips at the aroma. I look over to Paula downing hers, as I wait patiently for mine.

I look at my babe who looks like a breath of fresh air even with her tussled hair and tired eyes. She must have not gotten any sleep last night, I tossed and turned myself, we're not use to not being in each other's embrace. Plus getting up at four in the morning doesn't help.

"Why are we up so early?" The older blonde yawns.

"I want to show you a good time while you're out here Paula." There was some truth in that statement, we all need to have some fun after yesterday.

"Mom?" Spence whines in annoyance as she looks at her mother in dismay. She holds up a bowl of plain yogurt, with granola, fresh mango, pineapples, blueberries, and strawberries on top.

"Yes honey?" She places her last bite of French toast in her mouth.

"Mom, I told you the French toast was for Ashley." I whip my head in the direction of the thief.

I feel like the lady who hit the other lady in the head with a tray. Where is a tray when you need it? Hmmm, maybe I can use a glass plate.

"I made you your favorite." I'm taken out my of attack plan by my frustrated girl who extends the bowl in front of her mom.

"You're sweet honey, but I thought I be a little more adventurous with my food." She says before looking down at her empty plate. "I didn't know that there were assigned plates." She smiles at her mini me

"There aren't mom but-"

"We really should get going." I interrupted trying to ease the tension, mostly my own, and start the fun…hopefully. Spence gives me an apologetic look.

"Its fine, I'll take the yogurt." She goes to hand it to me.

"Wait, did you eat?" She reluctantly shakes her head no. I give her a disapproving look. She always gets on me about eating when she won't eat herself.

"Spence, you eat the yogurt and I'll get something on the way." She tries to protest but I won't have it.

Once everyone showered, and boy did I need the warm water against my skin to relax my nerves, Spence and Paula are waiting for me since I opted to shower last. I pull my hair back into a bun placing my wine color custom made Gucci top hat on my head. I step out the bathroom with my Aldo wine riding boots, frost green custom wool Fendi tights cover with the upright and upside down F in the print, with a white Donna Karan blouse, mustard Prada vest with a dark chocolate blazer.

I look at Spence wearing a white lace with wavy sleeves and navy skinny jeans. Spence always adds a little color to herself here and there since we met, but never as much color as the day I took her to 'Grub.' She's wearing mustard yellow three inch pumps with a matching tank top that shows just a little under her blouse. I look at her wavy locks and smile a little to myself.

A few minutes later Spence and I are waiting in the driveway in my 1969 turquoise Caddie, with one thick white stripe on both sides and matching white tires. The build is the original frame but the parts, tires, and seats are all brand new. This beauty cost me a pretty penny.

The older blonde is having a hard time moving in the stiletto heels Spence wore on our first date with a white form fitting button up with boot cut black jeans. I am debating if I should drive off once she places her hand on the handle, so she'll stumble and land on her knees causing herself to be dragged as I speed down the street. She'll deserve it after eating my breakfast! Okay, I 'm over it.

She reaches for the car handle and I pull off a little before she can open it, okay...I'm not over it. Spence hits my arm while giggling a little. I know she is as annoyed with her mother as I am.

I stick my head out the window to look back at Paula. "I'm so sorry, the car jerks sometimes. It really has a mind of its own, you know?"

She smiles while tip toeing towards the car to fill in the small distance I made. "It's ok honey"

We finally pull up in front of the Beverly Center; we're here before the sun. It's six o'clock in the morning and foggy out. The sale starts at eight but there's already a line to get into the mall.

I point to our spots on the side walk and we open our carry bag with our folding sports chairs inside and have a seat. I don't go to any sporting event or go camping but I have portable tents and chairs for these sales.

I notice little Latinas selling Champurrado I get up and buy some for the three of us. I love Mexican hot chocolate it always has the right hint of cinnamon, whole clove, and spices.

Its eight o'clock and we're finally inside on the most beautiful escalator because right above it there's always some whimsical hanging decoration. Today they have neon white, orange, yellow, red, and green parasols gather together, from a far it could be mistaken for jelly fish. I smile at them before looking to my side to get a glimpse of Spence smiling too. I look behind and even Paula is in awe at the sight.

Once inside I map out all the stores I want to hit. I reach for Spence but Paula intercepts. Really?!

"Spence and I were talking last night and we thought we would shop together." She says while pointing between the two of them. Spence gives me an apologetic look. "Since you buy mostly clothes and shoes, we wanted to browse body care." She gives a smug smile.

"Oh." I look down a little sad before looking up with a weak smile "Okay, I'm just use to me and Spence always shopping together." I say with a tone of defeat.

_2 Years earlier_

"_I don't know Ash" She chews on her bottom lip as we pull up in front of the mall where there's a line of twenty people already waiting to get in._

_"Come on babe." I squeeze her hand before I tilt her chin up for her to face me._

_I know she doesn't like being surrounded by crowds of people. She always says it's because of the way her mother invaded her personal space and how controlling Debbie was made her like to be away from people. I look at her worried face before placing a gentle kiss on her lips._

"_Babe, I'm right here…everything is going to be fine."_

_"You sure?" she looks like she's going to be sick. I nod my head while brushing a single strand of hair behind her ear._

_We get out the car with our folding chairs placing them behind the twenty unprepared hopefuls standing for at least an hour now, minus the few sitting on the dirty curb. I cringe at the sight of designer jeans touching concrete._

_I shake off the feeling and sit next to my girl. I grab her hand placing it close to my chest as I look into her eyes to try to insure her that everything will be fine._

_I have been to this sale every year for as long as I can remember. I only missed it once last year because I knew taking Spence into a crowd on Halloween then after Christmas would be pushing it. I did shop online, but it's not the same as touching and smelling the fabric that you had to wrestle for. _

_I am taken out my thoughts by Spence burying her face into my neck and as much as I enjoy the gesture I know it means she is extremely nervous. I wish I had a way to ease her tension, while keeping our clothes __on._

_The answer comes to me as I hear my favorite Latina ringing her bell for hot chocolate. I know how much food comforts Spence since her dad always made something just for her whenever she was feeling anything less than happy._

_"Baby-"Spence cuts me off by squeezing on to my arm tighter as if her life depended on it._

_"Babe, I'll be right back I'm just going to grab us some hot chocolate." I look into her eyes. "It will be fine." She loosens her grip and I run to get the drinks._

_I come back with the warm liquid and Spence's eyes sparkle with delight. I watch her cheeks turn slightly pink as they warm up with each sip. I reach for her hand and she gives it to me with no hesitation._

"_Spence we're going to have a grand time. It will be a memory you'll never forget." I kiss her knuckles._

_End of flash back_

I don't know if it's a memory Spence ever forgot, but I know it meant the world to me and still does._  
_

"I'm sorry, it's just that my mom has never been to one of these things and I-"I cut her off

"It's ok Spence, really go have fun with your mom." I smile lightly.

"Wait Ash." She calls from behind me and I smile a little thinking she can't shop without me.

"Yes Spence?" I try to hide my excitement it's hard because the smile on my face won't go away.

"I need one of your credit cards." She stands on her tip toes wiggling her fingers.

"Oh."

I reach in my purse disappointed and hand her one of my platinum cards. I guess she can't shop without me, well at lease without my money. I walk away sadly.

We decided to meet back up for lunch, my breakfast, around eleven and the way the lines are we probably won't eat until eleven thirty maybe twelve. I notice two women holding hands walking past me and I'm jealous of the form of affection that used to belong to me.

"Hey honey," The older blonde draws my attention to her by dramatically swaying her hair out of her face.

"Oh honey, did you not get any food?" She asks with her hand over her chest causing me to instantly notice the California Pizza Kitchen bag in her other hand as well as a matching bag in Spence's hand.

"I thought we were meeting here to eat?" I say with frustration in my tone.

"When I talked to you, I thought you meant we would meet here after getting our food." She laughs lightly. It's taking everything in me to keep my pimp hand weak.

I stand up without another word to walk over to Great Khan. I order my carrots, cabbage, mushroom, water chestnuts, onions, with noodles covered in oysters, ginger, lemon, and soy sauce stir fried in front of me.

I am greeted by Paula and her face of disapproval when approaching the table… Ugh! Then I look over to my babe's beautiful eyes that are filled with apology. I sit down where Spence squeezes some hand sanitizer in my hands that I rub together. I place my fork into my noodles spinning them onto the fork then open my mouth wide to place it into my mouth.

"Ashley you didn't want any meat?" Paula questions. This is the third time today she has come between me and my food.

There are three things you don't get in the way of when it comes to me… my love, my money, and my food, so far she is two for three. I place my fork down and give her a tight lip smile.

"Paula I am a flexitarian meaning my diet is mainly vegetarian, but I occasionally eat meat. Honestly I don't eat much meat except for the holidays and when I take Spence on a- umm Spence and I go out to eat." I smile nervously before shoving some noodles into my mouth.

I look at her with a smile "Aren't you a flexitarian Paula? She gives me a confused look. "You seem like the kind of girl who likes tossing salads or getting your salad tossed." I rub my knee in the spot Spence just kicked me.

"Ash, can you come with me to the bathroom for a minute?" Her blue eyes are telling me I'm in trouble.

"Ummm, I'm sure your mother would like to go with you instead." I smile meekly.

"It's ok Ash, you can go with her, I'm fine." Paula smiles brightly.

"Umm, I'm sure you would like me to stay with you and keep you company. Umm, not wanting to be by yourself in a new place." I give a pleading smile.

"Nonsense, I'll be fine and if I need you the bathroom is just a few steps away." She points at the rest room for emphasis.

"Okay." I hesitate.

Really Paula this is the moment you decide to give Spence and me some space? That's some great timing mommy dearest. I walk slowly behind Spence towards the restroom.

"Ashley seriously?" She questions with annoyed eyes once we get inside the restroom.

I put my hand to the back of my neck to rub it and let out a puff of air. "Spence it's not like she knows what that means."

"But you and I know exactly what it means." I smile. "It's not funny." She says while pointing her finger that I suck into my mouth. "Ash!" she whines and I toss her against the wall.

I start kissing up her neck while losing my hand in her hair. "You know you want this as much as I do." I whisper in her ear before biting it.

I unbutton her pants as I slide my hand into her panties and start to play with her already throbbing clit.

"Ash stop, don't…my mom is a few steps away, no... we can't." She moans softly.

I continue touching her as I bite on my lip while looking into her eyes. "Do you really want me to stop?" I ask while slowly moving my hand away.

She grabs my wrist holding my hand where it is then licks her lips. She swallows hard as she sides her ginger down my jaw line before shaking her head no.

I go deep inside her watching her try to catch her breath as she leans her head back in pleasure.

"Ash?" I am taken out my fantasy by the annoyed blonde.

"Yes?" I raise a brow nervously.

"Are you coming or what?"

"I wish."

"Huh?"

"Oh… nothing."

When we walk back to the table I'm sad to say the conversation didn't go like it did in my head. There was no touching besides her slapping my hands away. Only nos, don'ts, and stops were about not teasing her mother.

Once at the table I dive into my now cold stir fry. I don't mind because I think you can taste the flavor more when it's room temperature.

"Ash?" the older blonde calls. At least I got one bite in this time.

I swallow the food in my mouth "Yes Paula?"

"How was your shopping experience?" she asks with a wide smile.

"I lean back in my seat and let out a heavy sigh"

_Four hours earlier_

_I walk into Versace Collection after being bumped into and almost run over by the women piling in after the employees opened the doors. Once able to move freely I passed women in thousand dollar clothing fighting over equally expensive shirts, sweaters, and skirts like two year olds over a worn out toy._

_I refuse to be a part of the foolery until there she was a multicolored lace button up limited edition Versace shirt. This beauty was originally from the 80s brought back in stock for this sale, stock of five. I admire the unique blouse that is now only seven thousand dollars after the twenty percent discount._

_How could anyone let this slip out of their han-_

_I look at the woman with the orange spray tan, cheap blonde dye job with stringy hair, who stunk of cheap perfume holding my blouse she snatched from me._

"_Excuse me, can you return my blouse." I stick my hand out._

_She looks at me with her fake eye lashes covered in clunks of cheap liquid eye liner._

"_I don't see your name on it." She chews hard on her gum on one side of her mouth._

_I chuckle "You don't have to see my name on it because my hands were on it before you snatched it." I place my hand on my hip, rolling my eyes and neck._

_She chews even harder on her gum causing me to focus on her cheap beauty supply one dollar red lip stick piled on her lips._

"_Whatever, finders keepers." She rolls her eyes and starts to walk away._

_I know I said I would not become uncivilized, but I am from the streets, skid row, and we used to fight over free clothing donated to the shelter, so honey boo boo better step off. _

_I speed walk behind her and being the Aries that I am… I ram into her. She falls over while lifting her hands in the air losing her grip on the shirt and I grab it before it hits the ground._

_I smirk down at her "Losers weepers "I walk off to finish shopping; besides this shirt will look way better on me than her anyway._

_When waiting in line at Armani Exchange this woman is so close to me I can feel her hot breath on my neck. Every inch I move she moves too, she is so close to me she can climb my back if she wanted. Like seriously what the hell? It's not like if she moves two inches back a group of female clowns will pack in the small space._

_I get sneezed on In Dolce & Gabbana._

_Ironically a crowd of women march across my shoes in Steve Madden shoe store._

_After shopping a number of stores I go to my car to drop off my bags to make room in my hands and arms for new ones._

_When placing bags in the car I feel something tug on my purse and I think my strap is snagged on a tree branch or something. I turn around to be greeted by the face who's trying to steal my purse._

_He looks at me and I look at him he tugs and I do the same. There are no noises made just both parties pulling and staring wide eyed._

_I realize what I have in my opposite hand and swing it on top of his head; he lies on the ground knocked out cold._

_Good thing I carry around a Spashley glass bottle of water with me everywhere I go._  
_I grab a napkin from my purse and wipe the blood off my water bottle._

_I run behind the mall to the police station to report the incident and lead them to my car to arrest the thief._

_Once we get back to my car there's a small circle of blood where the man is suppose to be._

_"Are you sure this is where you left him, ma'am?" The plump officer asks with an eye roll and chuckle._

"_Yes I'm sure, it was no more than ten minutes ago, and we would have been here sooner if you weren't stuffing your face." I poke my finger into his chest._

_"Look ma'am, we're trying to help you." The tall lanky officer says in a dry tone and smirks at his partner._

_"Nothing was broken or stolen, so why be upset? Don't have a cow." He erupts in laughter followed by snickers from his partner._

_"I almost got my fifty two thousand dollar Louis Vuitton Tribute Patchwork hand bag stolen." I half way shout. This bag cost more than a year salary for you two, so of course I'm upset or like you say having a cow or better yet a pig." I narrow my eyes on them._

"_If you don't shape up and do your job I will have my lawyer Helen Houston make sure the only police work you two will be doing is parking enforcement." They swallow hard. _

_Helen was known for being a shark in the courtroom and the bedroom; if I wasn't with Spence I would give her another go._

"So what did you say this guy looks like?"

_I smirk satisfied as I am taken out my thoughts by both scared cops holding their pens and pads waiting for me to answer._

_End of flash back  
_

I finish my story leaving out the details of violence and outburst of course."Oh, our day was pretty relaxing; there were no lines in the body care stores." Paula finishes with a sigh of relief.

"Sadly we didn't get to go to Sephora, they have this box of makeup on sale for one hundred dollars." She smiles at me expectantly.

"Would you like to go?" She jumps up and grabs Spence while I grab all the bags.

We make our way to Sephora and instead of getting the box of makeup and leaving, Spence and her mom are browsing as I sit by the entrance and wait for them to finish.

"Ashley you should try on some make up." The older blonde says cheerfully.

"No, that's ok. "I only wear eye shadow and lipstick I'm good on all that other cra- creation" I correct myself realizing who I'm talking to. I may not care for her but she's still Spence's mom.

I smile a little looking for Spence. She must have gotten separated in the lip gloss aisle; even though, she doesn't wear makeup she'll wear the hell out of some gloss.

"Come on you're already here and it will be fun, I'll get the makeup girl." Before I can object she takes off to get the makeup girl I suppose.

"See isn't this fun?" The older blonde asks as the makeup girl puts on her final touches to my face.

"That is a lovely shade of blush on you." She places her hands on either side of my shoulder and we both smile at my reflection in the mirror.

"Whores wear blush, ladies pinch." My smile fades at the comment and hers stays.

She moves her hands and moves over to let the makeup girl resume her spot to add the lip stick she went to find.

"At least that's what my mother used to say." The older blonde walks away.

After our makeup adventure I wanted to get something to substitute the rice cream that Paula finished last night. We're sitting at Pink Berry where I got red velvet cake pieces as toppings to try and make up for the French toast that she stole this morning. The yogurt is good but it doesn't take the place of either item.

" Ash?"

"Yes?" I look at the older blonde.

"Can I have the keys to your car to put my bags away?" I hand her the keys. "I'll take both of your bags also." She grabs all the bags and scurries off.

I watch the older woman disappear into the crowd of people.

"Ashley what in the world is wrong with you!?" Spence says leaning closer to me before leaning back and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"What?" I say furrowing my brows together in confusion.

"You have hundreds maybe thousands of purses, why didn't you let him take that one!" she half way screams before her voice cracks. "You could have been killed." She wipes the single tear that escapes her eye.

I put my head down. I feel terrible for making her so upset. "It's not about the purse Spence." I whisper.

"Then what Ash?" her voice is raspy.

"I had something inside it that I couldn't lose." I swallow trying to moisturize my now dry throat.

"Like what Ash? Your credit cards! What was so important to risk your life?" The tears are falling freely now.

I can't tell you." I nibble on my lip a little.

I hear her slam her fist on the table. "So you're keeping secrets from me now Ash?"

"At least I'm not making you one." I look up and catch the hurt in her eyes.

We sit there silently for a while which seems like forever. I finally try to clear the tension first by clearing my throat.

"Sooooo, how was shopping at the after Christmas sale with your mom" _'and without me' _I think the last part_. _

She lets out a sad chuckle._ "_It was interesting"

_A few hours ago_

"_Where would you like to go?" I ask my mom._

"_Are there any fragrance places?" She questions _

"_I meant to ask you… since when do you wear fragrances?" I ask with narrow eyes._

"_I have become more open minded lately." She smiles_

I feel my chest lighten and my nerves ease as I think of the possibility of her being open to my sexuality.

"_Do you always shop with Ashley's credit card?" I swallow the lump in my throat._

"Yeah." I breathe out hoping she'll let it go.

"_Why?" She questions and even with my back is to her I can feel her staring at me intensely_

"_Ash makes more money than me seeing as I make no money." I play with my fingers._

"_When she moved in I was able to pay my half of the rent with grants and scholarship money, but sometimes you don't get approved or it take months to receive a check. Ash didn't want me to worry about a job so she offered to pay for the rent and other things."_

"_Spence honey why didn't you just ask your dad and I for the money?"_

_"At the time I didn't know why you had to stop paying my tuition, but I knew it had to be important. When I found out it was for dad's medical bills I'm glad I didn't ask because I would have felt horrible taking away from that."_

"_Funny we could afford to pay for the Bahamas, but not your tuition." She smiles guilty._

"Sometimes the luxuries are necessities." I reach for her hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

_After going to the Body Shop and Bath & Bodywork we make our way into Victoria Secret were we part ways._

_I look around waiting for my mom; I don't really purchase anything from retail body care stores. I usually go to small business merchants with handmade organic products. I smile to myself thinking how Ash introduced me to it._

_"Spence what do you think of this?" She asks holding a red thong._

_I leave my mouth agape. I think I am trying to say words but none are coming out._

"_I was thinking of getting this with the matching top." She pulls a lacy red tank from behind her back._

_I sit on the plush seat trying to catch my breath as I fan myself._

_We leave Victoria Secret with three hundred dollars worth of lingerie for my mom. I shiver at the thought._

_End of flashback_

"Three hundred dollars?" I question blue eyes with a raised brow.

"Ash you spend more than that on a pair of shoes."

"I do use my money to buy what I or my girl wants. I didn't know I was buying your mother stuff also. I wasn't even asked if it was ok. So now I don't have say on what happens with my money?"

"Why are you making this out to be bigger than what it is?" She questions in a small voice.

"Because this is about something bigger and you know it."

"Ash this is the longest time we have been away from my mom since she got here. Can't we just enjoy it?" She pleads while tilting her head.

I reach for her hands as we lean our forehead together closing our eyes and letting out a heavy sigh. We open our eyes to stare into each other. I lean in and peck her lips softly before pulling away and letting her hands go. I know her mother will be back soon.

Right on cue I hear the older blonde from down stairs waving us down. We get up and head for the elevator. Once we reach down stairs we see the excited woman waving to a sign she's standing next to.

"Spaz for a spa day dance contest by KJLH." I read out loud.

"How great would it be to say I visited LA and won a dance contest?"

I look at her with a brow raised and look over at Spence's wide eyes.

*Paula*

I watch my daughter stare at me with wide eyes and Ashley's raised brow. I guess it is a bit of a shock since I never told Spence I used to love to dance when I was a teenager and that's how I met her father.

_I leaped in the air landing on the tip of my toes spinning with my hands held together above me. I release one lower to do a side bow. I sway my body to the music inside my heart as I hum the melody. I exhale and sigh as I open my eyes._

_"Ahhh!" I stumble back grabbing my chest_

_"I'm so sorry." The young brunette boy with kind eyes and an even kinder face says as he helps me catch my balance._

_"I didn't mean to startle you; I just saw how beautiful you danced and couldn't help but watch." He smiles a smile that made my heart melt and show on my cheeks._

_"You think I dance beautiful?" I say looking at my ballet shoes never releasing his hand."_

_I slowly look up to catch him nod firmly._

_"Oh, I'm sorry." He smiles meekly letting go of my hand and I wish he didn't_

_"What I don't understand is why you're here behind the mirror of the other dances and not on the other side with them."_

_I sigh a little looking over my shoulders to see the other dancers on the other side of the mirror. _

"_I always wanted to dance for as long as I could remember. My mother says all dancing is wild and I would dance my way into the devil's arms." I finally look back at him. "I used to believe that until I realize there's nothing wild about ballet, it takes hard work and discipline."_

"_I been coming here since I was twelve, today would make four years." I play with my fingers and nibble on my bottom lip._

"_Happy Birthday." He reaches into his pocket. "I've watched you dance for those four years and I knew I would want to watch you dance forever if I could." He looks down at the object in his hand._

"_After a year of watching you I decided I would talk to you. I thought what better way than on your birthday. I knew it was your birthday because that day after you danced you sat down and blew out a candle on a cup cake and ate it alone. I always wanted to join you."_

_He looks up at me. "Well, that night I used some of my money I saved up from working here and bought you this."_

_I take the object he hands me. "Oh my God it's beautiful –"I pause embarrassed for not knowing his name._

_"Arthur." He takes the necklace from my hand. "May I?" I nod as he places the thin sterling silver chain on my neck. I touch the sterling silver ballet slippers that hang from it._

_"Thank you." I choke out past the tears in my throat. I turn around to look at him._

_"I held on to this for three years never getting up the nerve to give it to you. Honestly if you didn't catch me watching you today I might not be giving it to you now." We watch each other in a comfortable silence until he broke it._

"_Well I guess I should get back to cleaning." He grabs his mop and roll away bucket._

_"Arthur?" I call to him timidly._

_"Yes –"He pauses and I smile._

_"Paula."_

_"Paula." He repeats with a smile_

_"You said you always wanted to join me for my birthday cup cake and there's no time like the present." I smile a gesture he returns._

_"I would love to. Just give me a second to wash my hands?" I nod and he exits the room._

_I spent every day with him after he was done with his shift. He watched me dance the first couple months and applauded._

_By the third month he helped me dance by catching me as I would leap into his hands and hold my pose._

We were inseparable until the moment I had to tell my mother I was pregnant. He wanted to come, but I knew this was something I had to do on my own.

_"Mother" I rub the charm on my necklace as I wait for her to turn and face me, which she doesn't. "I have something to tell you that you will find unpleasant." I say closing my eyes, biting my lip, while standing on my tippy toes clicking my heels together._

_"Don't move so much child you'll attract bad spirits." I stop all movement and stand at attention._

_I swallow all my nerves "Mother I'm pregnant" I barely whisper._

_I'm not sure if she heard me until I feel the stinging pain on my face. "Mother?" I whisper past the tears coming from my throat to my eyes that are falling freely down my cheek._

_"I am not your mother...you're dead to me." She comes inches to my face. "You will get rid of that baby." I touch my stomach._

"_How can you say any of those awful things? Aren't you the one who always says life is a blessing?"_

_"It's a mother job to guide their children in the right direction and I refuse to watch my only child walk down a path to hell."_

_"This path might not be ideal but something so beautiful between two people to create something even more beautiful can't be wrong."_

_"You speak worldly words that have no place in this house."_

"_But we are part of the world."_

_"Just because you're in the world doesn't mean you have to be of it" She spits"Once we get rid of the sin inside you we can lead you back in the path you were meant to take. Hopefully Pastor Smith's son will still want you seeing as you are jaded."_

"_I don't want to be with Pastor Smith's son… I love Arthur!" I scream barely audible because the tears are becoming overwhelming_

_"Watch your tone." She says with a stern look. "Who is the Arthur and what does he do?" She asks as if she has a bad taste in her mouth._

_"Arthur is the most beautiful person I've ever met inside and out and he's so kind and sweet and wonderful"_

"_What does he do?" Her voice unimpressed_

_"He's a college student studying Sociology. He has such a big heart he wants to be a social worker for teens."_

_"If he wanted to help people he would become a pastor and you would be a pastor's wife." She spits._

_"I don't want to spend my life being an accessory to someone else's life. I deserve to have my own life mother." I plead._

_"College student?" She looks at me with realization in her eyes. "How old is this Arthur?"_

_I breathe deep "He's eighteen."_

"_You whore!"_

_"No, no, no… I'm not a whore"_

_"How many men." she stretches the last word out "have you let have you?"_

_"He's my first, my only…my forever."_

_"Get rid of that baby or get out of my house."_

_An hour later Arthur came and picked me up on my porch after I packed up all my things._

_"Everything is going to be fine. I look into his kind eyes and believe the words. He hands me a white paper bag._

_"What's this?" I question looking at the bag._

_"My father used to always tell me that a meal can make anything better." He opens my door and helps me before putting the bags in the trunk. He gets in the driver side and puts on his seat belt. "Go ahead open it." he smiles._

_I open the bag and smile wide "Arthur." I look at him lovingly then back at the warm sponge cake with strawberries and ice cream. "Where did you get this from?"_

_"I made it" He says matter a factly and starts to drive. "I remember you telling me it's your favorite and how you haven't had it homemade or at all for that matter since your grandmother passed. I felt there was no time like the present for you to have it again." He smiles at me as I dive into the comforting dessert._

_We moved into his studio apartment until I had the baby. He took extra shifts cleaning up the dance studio and got another job cleaning at my high school to earn enough money to pay for our two bedroom apartment._

_When Glen got older Arthur paid for a babysitter so I could finish school. Arthur was always at work and class at night. We barley saw each other until I turn eighteen and took a small job which allowed him to cut down some shifts at one of his._

_My mother wouldn't come by to see Glen or approve or come to my wedding that's why I had to wait until I was eighteen to be married._

_After my first day of college I looked at the man who worked so hard to get us where we are. I rub my charm remembering my old dream realizing my new one is right in front of me. I never would have thought this would be the path I would take but I am happy I did.  
_

_End of Flashback  
_

Don't look so surprised Spence, I use to love to dance. Actually that's how your father and I met.

"I didn't know that." My daughter says with her eyes narrowed.

"Oh you didn't?" I turn away to sign up for the dance contest not daring to look at her.

"Your grandmother didn't like the idea of your father and I being together. She didn't come back around until you were eight. I didn't talk about it because I didn't want you to feel differently towards her. I was happy to know even though she didn't accepted your father and I she accepted all of you."

That's why I got into psychology to study mothers and why they do what they do. I wrote my dissertation on mother and daughters relationships.

"It must be hard having a mother who doesn't accept you and makes you feel that your desire to be happy is letting her down." Ashley says.

Before I could answer I hear my name called to get on stage. I smile and walk over to the stage with the other contestants.

*Ashley*

I feel an elbow in my side "Ouch" I rub the offended area. "What was that for?"

She points her open palm towards her mother. "Really Ash, why do you have to say things like that?" she crosses her arms over her chest.

"It's not like it's not true." I mumble

"Pardon me?" She narrows her eyes.

I don't know when she's cuter when she's say 'pardon' or when she's mad. I smirk and sigh at the sight.

"Ashley?" The babe softly shouts.

Oh right, reality. "I am just saying you would think her having a mother who was hard to please would make her a bit easier."

I see Spence breath in deep but before she can speak again the music for the contest starts.

Spence and I shake our heads at the girls trying to booty pop to 'Eye of the Tiger'. We then stare at in awe watching her body move with the beat perfectly.

Every girl gets a chance to show her stuff for thirty seconds before being voted off by the crowd. Paula is hanging in there strong, the crowd loves her.

After two more songs and a number of contestants cut the host shouts to the crowd, "Lighting round, is there anyone who hasn't signed up willing to go up against our dancing queen? If there aren't any takers the winner of our first Spaz for a spa day will be-"

"I'll do it" I raise my hand.

I don't need a spa day when I have free spa days when ever I want from a regular at my shop who happens to be the owner of a spa. But hey, this should be fun and that's the reason I came out in the first place, plus why should Paula get what she wants so easy?

I walk to the stage ignoring the disapproving look Spence is giving me and won't even look at the look Paula is giving.

"This round will be at least two minutes and the audience will decides who gets it"

They start to play Brittney Spear's 'Me Against the Music' and Paula already steps up then back then right hand crossing her left side then left hand crossing her right. She does spirit fingers in her face before doing a spin. I feel like I am in a 80s video when there were actual dance scenes.

I am frozen in my spot as I watch Paula in her zone as she kicks up her legs before turning into a figure four then doing a spin. I am impressed she can do all this in Spence's heels, but couldn't walk to the car any faster this morning. The host looks at me and I have missed everything he said but I am guessing by his stare it's my turn.

I might not know how to dance but I damn sure know how to be sexy. I spread my legs apart and sway my hips. I take off my top hat to slide it down my face stopping under my eyes, which I use to flirt with the crowd.

I continue to slide the hat down to show my lips where I slowly slide my tongue followed by its ring across them and I hear a few cat calls, even the host is fanning himself.

I drop my hat to the side of me lean my head back and release my bun. I shake out my hair before leaning forward and letting it fall in my face then shake it to the beat.

I lean my head back again rolling it with my shoulders before rolling back up and blowing a kiss at the new crowd of women who run to catch it. I chance a glance at the babe who's giving me a death stare.

The host looks back at Paula who spins and holds up one leg to take off one shoe then does the same for the other. Once she's barefoot she spins on her toes with her hands above her before leaping in the air and landing in a split.

"Mom how does it feel to win… is it everything you ever dreamed?" Spence jokingly questions her smiling mother.

"It is and more." The older blonde jokes back while placing her head on her mini me as they walk arm and arm behind me to the car.

"Where's my car?" I say to the empty spot where my car is supposed to be.

Spence walks next me looking at the spot with wide eyes and mouth agape.

"I don't understand because if my car is moved even by a tow truck it will send alert to my phone. If it was broken into it will alert me and the police. I don't pay two thousand dollars a month to my insurance company for nothing."

I place my hand on my forehead and shake my head. "I don't understand. The only way it wouldn't alert me is if someone got in with my keys."

"I am so sorry." I faintly hear the older blonde

Spence and I look at the guilty party.

"Excuse me." I question with irritation.

"I checked my purse while you were talking and I must have left your keys in the car when I went to put the bags in."

"You did what?" I whisper in disbelief. I relax a little when feeling a gentle hand caress my arm.

"Ash, don't you have a tracking device in your car that you can access through your phone?" Spence reminds me.

"Yes, your right." I pull out my phone and see that the thief is not far from where we are. Okay how should we do this?"

"We will not do anything." Spence says while pointing her finger to the three of us "But you will call the police and hand them your phone so they can catch the guy."

As much as I want to catch the thief myself there's no time to argue. I hurry up and dial the nearby police station.

Ten minutes later officer dumb and dumber come strolling along with a jelly donut in hand. When they realize it's me who called their eyes widen and they drop their jelly filled treat. They take out their pens and pads and rush to my side.

"We are so sorry ma'am we would have been here sooner but-"I cut them off and tell them the situation.

They take my phone after writing everything down and rush to their cop car.

"What did you do to them?" Spence whispers to me a bit intrigued and impressed.

"I just had to show them whose boss." I smirk and wink at her making her to blush.

An hour later the cops come back one driving my car and the other driving the thief in the back seat of the cop car.

I run to my car to check if anything is missing and thank God all my bags are there. I run to look in the back seat of the cop car to be greeted by the same green eyes and pale face from earlier who tried to steal my purse.

When he sees my face and me trying to open the door to kick his ass his mouth opens and eyes widen in terror. The two officers have to try and pull me off the side of the car. It takes Spence's voice calling my name to get me to relax.

"What the hell?" I shout

"Ash?" Spence gives me warning eyes.

"I mean did you come back for revenge?!" I shout into the gated window.

The young man who looks to be the age of eighteen or nineteen continues to looks straight not daring to look at me. I slam my hand against the gate causing him to move quickly to the other side of the car.

"It's a good thing we caught him when we did." The plump officer says with his hand griping his belt as he rocks back on his heels.

"Yeah, he was coming out the liquor store, it's seems he stopped to get a cold pop." The slim officer says before smirking at his partner

"Aint nobody got time for that!" They say in unison before busting into laughter after referencing YouTube sensation Sweet Brown.

They stop immediately when they see that I am not amused. Usually I would find it funny especially since I usually quote the woman myself, but not today.

The slim officer clears his throat. "Since the gentlemen stopped at the store to get a Big Red soda it gave us enough time to catch him before he made it to his destination to get rid of your bags and car."

I know this question might be redundant but do you want to press charges?" I faintly hear the office say.

I am too into my thoughts of how nasty a Big Red soda tastes. I smile a little remembering the small debates me and Kyla would have over the drink which she loved.

"Ma'am would you like to press charges?" Officer slim asks again.

"Of course I want to-"my words get caught in my throat when I look at the boy's face. It's clear he's not a criminal just a fool taking the wrong path.

"No I don't want to press charges." I walk up to the car ignoring everyone's shocked face.

I get close to the gate and whisper loud enough that only he can hear me. "Listen here you little ass wipe, if you steal anything else I will personally come and find you and a glass bottle will be the least of your worries."

I shake my head. "You're not cut out for this life kid and that's not a bad thing. Find another way. I start to walk away but turn around when remembering something else to say. "Oh, and also go to the hospital you might have a mild concussion."

It's been a long day and its only 3:00pm. We're in the car back to the house; I decided to hold off going to Rodeo Drive for another time.

Once we get to the house we sit in silence for a while clearly exhausted from today. I close my eyes letting my body wind down, it's nice to have a moment of peace. I can't believe all the theft that went on today from my breakfast to my car. I exhale and sink more into the couch.

Spence, Paula, and I lift up furrowing our eyebrows in confusion when we hear the door bell.

"Who can that be?" I whisper to myself.

I usually have Spencer's favorite flowers delivered at different times every day to surprise her. It's only four o'clock the delivery guy is not supposed to be here for another two hour.

"I'll get it." I walk to the door open it and see a man with a clip board. "How may I help you?" I question with a bow raised.

"I'm here to pick the furniture."

"Pick up the furniture?" I jump a little holding my heart startled by the older blonde. I didn't even hear her come up behind me.

I snap out of it "Yeah take back the furniture to have it reupholstered." I giggle nervously looking at the man's confused face.

"That's ok…" I look at his name tag "Juan, we'll keep it a little while longer. See we have someone visiting and we're going to need it."

I grab my purse off the hook by the door and reach in to hand him hush money.

'This is for your time." He looks at the amount in his hand and smiles before walking away. Benjamin always does the trick.

"I'm hungry, what about you two?" Both blondes nod their heads in agreement.

After eating our Grand Lux Asian pizza and short rib tacos that I had one of the many female employees that I'm close with, pick up and deliver after her shift. We watched a Lifetime movie before the doorbell rings again. I check my watch and it must be the flower guy this time.

I place the Birds of Paradise on the table and watch Spence's eyes light up like they always do when she see them. She opens the card and smiles at it. She looks at me and mouths a 'I love you' and I mouth it back while Paula is still watching her movie.

"Spence honey." Paula calls to her

"Yes mother?" She gives an eye roll that Paula doesn't see.

" I was thinking of today's unfortunate events and it really made me concerned for you."

"What? Mom stuff like that doesn't happen all the time as a matter fact that was the only time."

"Wait a minute let me finish. The older blonde cuts her off by holding up her hand.  
I don't think this city is safe for you. I have been thinking about you moving back home. I knew you had school but since you just received your doctorates there's nothing keeping you in LA right?"

I look at Paula who's looking at Spence as we both wait for her response. I don't know what I'll do if she goes back with her mother. My chest starts to tighten at the thought as my body becomes over heated. I hold on to the wall for support as I try to make my way to the bedroom to lie down. I can't deal with this right now.

* * *

Talk to me...what did you like, love, hate? All feedback is welcome (:


	8. Hanging by a moment

A/N I actually got this done way faster then I thought...Yay me! I want to thank those who wished me a Happy Birthday and yes, it was lovely. To all my loyal reviewers thank you for sticking around, you are the reason I continue to post. I want to welcome all my new reviewers and follower I get so happy to see you all join the party. Shout out to **my beta** you keep me on my toes and I thank you. Song lyrics are in **bold.**

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

**Hanging by a Moment**

*Spencer*

"Really Spence?"

"It's not like I said I'll go back with her." I try to reason.

"It's not like you said you wouldn't either." She retorts.

I sigh and lean back against the counter. "Ashley can we cross that bridge when we get there?" I plead.

"Look around Spence, we're already there. She's a thief."

"What?" I whisper as I narrow my eyes.

"She stole my rice cream then my French toast…"

"Again with the French toast?" I question widen my arms.

"Yes again with the French toast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and she took that from me. She rubs her tired eyes. "Anyway, I think I need to draw the line when she tries to come in here and steal you."

"She's not stealing me I'm not going anywhere."

"Really Spence? Because it seems like your mother has a hold on you that you're not even trying to escape." She shakes her head before turning around to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I whisper loudly.

She turns around to face me "I am going to my room before mother dearest wakes up and notices you're missing. Don't want her to catch you with your roommate." She does air quotes. "At two in the morning who happens to be walking around in a tank with no bra, a thong, and worse of all…" She gasps holding her chest. "fuzzy slippers." She lifts the house shoe and I try to stifle a laugh. She starts to walk away again before turning around in mid step

"Besides don't want her to get the dyke I mean wrong idea." She smirks sarcastically.

I hate the fact that she's leaving but love the sight in front of me. I lean back smacking my palm against my forehead.

"Spence" she calls to me softly and I face her for her to continue. "What does she mean by going home anyway? I thought home is where the heart is and I thought your heart was here...with me" She chokes out the last part as she fights back tears,

I hate myself for not getting out the words that are caught in my throat as she walks away.

I lean my head back and let out a heavy sigh.

"Everything ok between you and Ashley?" I look up to see my mother in her new Victoria Secret PJs. Thank goodness its pants and a tank and not that too sexy for my eyes stuff from earlier.

"Everything is fine." I give a mock smile.

"You sure?" She looks at me with worried eyes.

"Absolutely." I swing my arms before holding one in places with my hand.

"Ok, I hope she isn't mad about me stealing her roommate from her."

"About that…" I chew on my bottom lip.

"Yes?" she leans on the opposite side of the counter that I am leaning on.

"Never mind, let's talk about it later. Tomorrow's a new day and there are new things to show you."

"Okay." She smiles before leading the way back to me and Ashley's room. The room Ash is not in. I sigh at the thought

I might not have to tell her I want to stay, if I show her the great things LA have to offer. At least I hope that's the case.

*Ashley*

"This weather is so crazy, one minute it's freezing then the next it's blazing." The older blonde says looking through her suit case for something to wear.

"That's Cali for you." I say putting on my oversized cheetah sun glasses with oversize blood orange beach hat.

I adjust my Versace maroon shorts as I admire my sleeves, Bebe cheetah print cleavage reveling tank with the back out and sides sliced. I know Spence is as sexually frustrated as I am, so I started making her suffer last night and driving it home today. I put on my last bit of Mac blood red lip stick before making sure my curls are perfect at the tips. I slide in my lime green Jimmy Choos wedge with sky blue, dark purple, and hot pink strap at the ankle.

"These are lovely, what are they?" Mother dearest questions.

"Their called birds of paradise... my favorite." Spence smiles adoringly at the bouquet after answering her mother.

"Spence you always had an exotic taste." The babe and I exchange a look at the comment.  
"Hopelessly Devoted." The nosey blonde reads the card on the flowers. "Who's hopelessly devoted to you?"

The younger blonde just shakes her head and goes to the bathroom to get dressed.

After an hour or so both blondes finally decide on a simple white tank, blue jeans and red flip flops with their hair is in a high lose pony tail. We pack in the car on our way to the Third Street Promenade.

"Spence you can tell me if you're in love, it's a beautiful thing really." Mother dearest tries to assure her daughter sitting next to her in the back seat while I'm up here driving the Daisy twins. I shake my head.

"Love is a chemical in the brain that is equivalent to insanity." I look in the rear view mirror at her comment in disbelief.

"Oh my soon to be psychologist." Her mother pinches her cheeks and smiles brightly.

"I am a certified psychologist since June thank you very much." She retorts.

Wow, she can defend her title but not our relationship?

I take out all my frustration on shopping at Betsey Johnson, Banana Republic, American Engle, Lucky Brand. Two hours of shopping and not even half way through the beautiful outside mall with trees between each store. In the middle of the plaza their large dinosaur water fountain covered in leaves squirts water from the mouth. At night ever thing is lit up with white Christmas lights all year round.

"Is this all you do in LA, shop and then shop?"

"Of course not, we party and eat also." I smirk and she laughs. "Truthfully I spend so much time working throughout the year I don't have much time to myself let alone to shop, so I try to stock up between Christmas and New Years. She nods.

"Speaking of eating." Spence bounces happily before tilting her head then pouting.

I look at my watch. "It's twelve already? I guess a quick break wouldn't hurt."

We walk inside Hooters and although I thought it would be funny to see Paula uncomfortable surprisingly she's not. I would have done a better job making her uncomfortable at the beach because the girls there wear less than the Hooters girls. I don't know what I was thinking.

The tables have definitely turned with me being the one uncomfortable since half of the employees are my ex girlfriend granted I didn't know this little detail. It seems most of them started working here way after we broke up. Once we order I try to avoid the winks and kisses that are blown in my direction. I try to smirk at Spence when her mother's not looking to try to soften her death glare.

"I'll be right back." Paula smiles before exiting.

"Babe?" I say in my best pouty voice.

"Ashley don't." She holds her hand up to me.

"You ladies need any more help." The curvy honey blonde asks while rubbing my shoulder.

"No, thank you." I move her hand off my shoulder.

"See that right there." She points at the waitress retreating figure and huffs in her seat.

"Spence you know I have exes."

"More like the whole alphabet "She rolls her eyes

"Clever." I give her my signature smirk and to my dismay…nothing. "This never bothered you before, so why now?"

"It's just that my mother's here."

I shake my head."Seriously Spence? It seems like it bothers you now because you feel threatened and the only reason a girl would feel threatened in her relationship is when she's not doing something right." I raise my brow at her and she tightens her lips.

"Oh my, that bathroom is scary." Paula takes a seat back in her chair. "I had to go down three flights of stairs that took me to a long dimmed walkway that lead me inside an even dimmer rest room. The restroom had a door in the corner that was chained with a rusty chain. It looks like they were hiding something back there." Me in Spence giggle at the dramatic description.

In a matter of minutes complementary wings from my exes and a few customers are brought to the table and with that the smile from Spence's face is replaced with anger.

"Spence you really didn't give me an answer last night about moving back home." The older blonde is facing her mini me with a hand on Spence's arm. Spence and I have quickly trade expressions as she looks apologetic and I upset.

"I know you originally came out here to find yourself." I huff, puff, lift up, and slam back into my chair cutting the blonde off. "Is there something wrong Ashley?" her full attention is now on me.

_9 Years Earlier_

_I hold my knees up to my chest as another single tear rolls down my cheek to my chin before dripping onto my hands. I have been sitting in this common room for three days now._

_"You have to get up and fight." The older milk chocolate woman says. "You've been sitting here letting who ever have dibs on your room." She takes a seat next to me._

_I look at her with my mouth agape as a few tears drip inside. I close my eyes and cry a deep cry from my chest exhaling trying to catch my breath. I look away from her and stare at the food area that I stood in for the last eight months. Ironically Thanksgiving was right around the corner and I had nothing to be thankful for._

_I turn back to face the lady. "The night it happened I ask her why she chose to live here. When she had a house of her own? You know what she told me?"_

_The woman places her hand on my knee encouraging me to continue. "She said she would be alone in that house and in life there's only two things you need to accomplish for it to be successful."_

_I look back at the food area. "What's that?" the woman asks intrigued._

_I look back at her "To not live or die alone." I sniffle. " I was there when she passed. She went from laughing and joking with me to not moving, speaking, or breathing the next morning. I didn't let her die alone but she left me to live alone."_

_She grabs my hand and places it between both of hers and warms it. "You are not alone child and this." She turns over my hand revealing the cuts on my wrist. "This needs to stop."_

_"I spent seventeen years trying to find myself and all I find is heartache. I'm tired of looking."_

_"Bullshit!" I look at the women wide eyed and mouth open more than before. "You heard me I said Bulll shhhhit" she stretches the word releasing my hands._

_"Excuse me." I say above a whisper._

_"Life is not about finding yourself because you are not lost. The lost thing to do is go around looking for something that's in front of you. Life is about creating yourself by decisions, passion, and experience. Barbara didn't leave you to live alone she left you with her memory."_

_I go to open my mouth but nothing comes out._

_"You're sitting here waving your depression in front of everyone's face like you're the only one who lost something special to them. Everybody in here has lost something or someone special to them. Look around child this is the end of the road for most, but the reason they're still alive and breathing is because they haven't lost themselves. It's ok to get down but don't stay there." She scoots even closer to me and kneels down to make eye contact with me. "And if you choose to stay there at least be there in private."_

_End of Flashback_

"It's just the saying finding yourself as if you're lost. You can't be lost when you are here moving, breathing, and living. We don't have to find ourselves we have to create ourselves because we are unfinished works of art until the day we leave this earth." I suck my teeth.

"Well I guess we'll agree to disagree." She gives a small smile before digging into her wings.

Once the third plate of complementary wings came and still no words were spoken I suggested some more shopping. We make Lush be our last stop of the day, Spence's favorite. I remember taking her here for the first time and her telling me how all the scents made her feel alive because growing up her mother didn't allow any in the house. Paula felt the only scents that were meant to be smell were natural scents from God and never touched by human hands.

It was interesting to watch Paula and Spence smell these scents together and maybe if she could change her mind on this she could change her mind on other things. Maybe they could laugh and bond over us one day.

I take majority of the bags as we walk towards the front of the Promenade to exit to the parking lot across the street. We're only a few feet from the store before Paula starts talking again.

"Spence you never told me who is hopelessly devoted to you?" I can hear the smile in the older blonde's voice."

"Because it's no one… serious." I lose my footing.

I feel Spence's hand's on my arm helping me keep my balance and I yank it away. I look into her sad eyes with my teary ones.

"Do you want help with the bags?" she asks in a small voice not even looking at me but down at her flip flops.

"No, I don't want you to reach to close and our hands accidently touch causing your mother to think the unthinkable?"

She shallows hard and slowly brings her eyes to mine. "Which is?"

I scoff "Don't even act like you don't know. We wouldn't want mother dearest to think that we're together and that… it's serious." I spat at her through granted teeth. She stares at me with tears in her eyes placing a hand on my arm and I quickly yank it away.

"You two have to come watch this amazing singer I've just seen over there." The older blonde points in the direction behind her before bending over to catch her breath from running, I didn't even realize she left.

I walk past a hurt Spencer to see a beautiful woman who's a shade lighter than me, darker brown eyes, and a smile that is almost as beautiful as Spence's, when I'm not mad at her, with dread locks down to her feet. Behind her are two man one on an acoustic gutter, another on a bongo drum with locks as long as hers.

"Hello ever one my name is Nia Kate and I want to thank you all for letting me share my art with you." She steps back and I watch every move she makes.

I watch her gentle fingers strum the strings of her guitar as she stands closer to the mic. I watch the green and orange scarf wrap around her hairline like a headband as the ends tangle with the mic cord as it lies on her layered maroon skirt. The bottom of her skirt covers her chocolate brown sandals that only peak through when she side steps.

**I let you take me over I couldn't help myself just had that thing about you played me like no one else.**_  
_  
I stop admiring her clothes to admire her heavenly voice.

**I've never felt so stupid.**

I start to listen closely to the words as they begin to speak to me.

**I've never been so stuck.  
I'm tired of being your fool tangled in yo yo love.**

I look over to Spence who's looking down guiltily. Is she so vain to think this song is about her?

**I should of notice the signs when you cross the lines.**  
**You hurt me one too many times.  
Gave you my heart but you threw to far.  
Look at me now spinning around I had enough of yo yo love**

I listen to every word and nod my head in agreement as a tear rolls down my cheek that I wipe away quickly. When the song is over I go over to purchase one of her CDs.

We decide to stop at Johnnies NY Pizza before leaving. I order the NY White Pie, garlic white sauce, mozzarella, and Sautee Spinach. Spence orders the basil, tomato and garlic pizza, and Plan Jane Paula orders the classic pepperoni.

"I still don't understand why you didn't lock that kid up after causing you so much stress and pain" The older blonde puts pepper on her side salad.

If I acted on every action when it came to those who cause me stress and pain you wouldn't be here right now.

"It's kind of Poet's code to see the good in people even when they pis- peeve you" I catch my tongue. "Besides I've seen a lot of thieves and he didn't seem like one."

The older blonde nods before taking a bite of her pizza "Is that what you do for a living?" She questions while swallowing the food in her mouth.

"Excuse me?"

"You said poet's code so are you a poet?"

"I am indeed a poet who's written a few poetry books as well as performed in a number of countries. Poetry is my passion not my career." I clarify.

"I own a café that's for les-" I look over at Spence who's pleading with me with sad eyes and even though I am upset with her I am still loyal to her and her wishes. That's the problem with us Aries we will do anything for the ones we love even if they won't return the gesture." I position myself in my chair. "It's a café for ladies of all ethnicities, size, and ages to come and unwind. Before I met Spence we sold healing teas and herb waters. Now we added bottle water, a deli, a hookah lounge, and it turns into a club and bar at night.

"How did you buy the café?"

I snap my head back a bit taken aback by the question. This woman has no shame of the questions she's ask. Next thing I know she'll want to know my social security number.

"It's just when we first spoke of your mother you said she never let you see a dime of your money." Paula tries to seem more curious than nosey. I'm not buying it.  
_  
__8 years earlier_

_It's funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. I went from walking into stores grabbing clothes off the rack and having them rung up without once looking at the prices to stealing from them. I got away with taking items that cost $10,000 and more for a year without getting caught. Once Barbara died I started making myself feel better the only way I know how… with materials._

_"I watch her full pink lips. "Hello!" she half way shouts taking me out my thoughts._

_I smirk playing it cool "Yes?"_

_Her tanned hand and French manicured hand slams down my file. "It be wise to wipe that smile off your face." She leans over the chair revealing her cleavage under her button up blouse. She comes inches from my face. "You are in a world of trouble."_

_Is it bad that I just got really turned on? I bite my lip imaging her spanking me._

_She walks around the table swaying her hips; she stops next to my chair before turning it to face her and steps her toned legs in between mine as she places her lips near my ear. "Poor baby dyke." I jerk back and she lets out an evil laugh._

_"Who the hell are you?"_

_"I'm your attorney."_

_"Like a public defender?"She laughs even harder._

"_Please I make more on one case then they make in a life time." I smack my lips and raise a bow. _

"_Did my mother hire you?" I ask half heartily not believe she would._

_She leans back places her hand on her stomach letting out a hardy laugh. "We both know your mother doesn't give a shit about you."_

_I shake my head "So why are you here?"_

_She sits on the edge of the table crossing her muscular thighs over the other. "I was having lunch with the officer who's questioning you and I came across your picture and I took an interest. I did some research on you and became more interested in why Ashley Davies would be stealing from stores she could own." She slides her fingers across my tighten fist. "I called your mother who laughed so hard at the mere mention of your name."_

_"Again why are you here?" I lean back folding my arms across my chest._

_"I have a proposal for you"_

_"Not interested" I roll my eyes and face the other way._

_I turn to face her tapping nails on the table where she's now standing in front of with her other hand on her hip. She smacks her teeth and stares hard into me. "I suggest you hear me out Ms. Davies because I can get you out of here and clear your record in seconds or leave you with a public defender that will get you a year of community services and owing restitution that will take you a lifetime to payoff. Ironically you won't be able to pay it because you won't be able to get a job because this case will keep popping up on your record. See shop lifting wouldn't be so bad if you stole under a thousand dollars worth of stuff or if you were a minor. But you my dear just turned legal." She licks her lips and looks me up and down._

_I smirk at the familiar look in eyes from most women who come in contact with me. "Well I find it only fair that I know your name since you obviously know a lot about me."_

She softens…just a little.

"_Helen Houston"_

"_Ms. Houston what can I do you for?" I am mere inches from her lips as she backs up against the door. This action would make most girls melt but Ms Huston doesn't even blink._

"Don't try to pull your baby dyke moves on me."She spats softly

"_It takes a dyke to know a dyke" I whisper closer into her lips_

_The door that tries to open is stopped by Ms. Huston's behind. The interruption causes me to move back and Helen to move to the side letting the officer in._

_"I'm sorry to interrupt…did you need more time Ms. Huston?" the cop looks terrified._

_"No, that won't be necessary I'll be taking Ms. Davies into my custody." She says not once looking in my direction once, missing the smile on my face._

"Yes ma'am." The officer nods before walking over and taking the cuffs off of me.

_When entering Ms. Huston's house it reads like she does…stern and cold. You can always tell the difference between those who are born with money and those who worked for it. Those who work for it houses look more worn as well as more catered to. The walls, furniture, and carpets are white only black is the skirt suit Helen is wearing._

"Scotch, would you like one?" she ask taking out two glasses while beginning to place ice in it before pouring the dark drink on top.

"You do realize I'm 18?" I question taking the cup from her.

"Age shouldn't be a reason to miss out on the smooth taste of a 30 year old." I'm not sure if she means the drink or her. "Please take a seat." She points at the chair across from her as she takes her seat.

_I start to choke on the strong taste._

_"You are more of fruity kind of girl?" she questions with a brow as she sips her scotch._

_I smirk looking down at the harsh flavored drink. "Isn't it a bad idea to release me before knowing if I agree to your deal?" I look into her eyes and almost lose my nerves._

_She runs her tongue across her lips catching the pebbles of scotch. "I only had you released clearing your record hasn't been taken care of and won't unless you agree to my deal."_

"I'm not sleeping with you." I stare straight into her eyes. She starts to laugh hysterically. "I don't think it's that funny." I roll my eyes.

"_Oh baby dyke this is about business. See I am a very serious woman that only takes on cases that will make me very rich." She taste a gulp of her drink." I started from the bottom and gutted my way to the top. I don't take risk. Everything I invested in had been a sure thing. She takes another gulp of her drink. "I saw your picture and that change. I figured if I was willing to gamble on you others would too. She downs the rest of her drink. I am in a position where I can't be involved with anything gay. I've been looking for someone for a while to be the front woman and have yet to find her until you baby dyke. She takes the drink I been babysitting and downs it._

"_Thirsty?" I give her the side eye. She decides against pouring another drink and puts the bottle and cup down. _

"_West Hollywood is land of the gay boys with clubs and porn shops but what about our gals?" She takes unravels her bun letting her natural waves fall down her back. You know lesbian like to talk and get to know each other, so a café would be perfect. She unbuttons her shirt revealing black bra and I lick my lips. We have you hit up every bar, club, pride and girls will be lined up just to look at you." I nod a little giving the ides some thought, well trying to think with the sight in front of me. Plus you'll get 30% of all profit and if you can make enough to pay me what I put in to start you can buy me out. She drops her shirt and skirt to the floor._

"I told you I'm not sleeping with you." I raise a brow.

_"And I told you this is business." She gives a devilish grin"I'm just getting comfortable. You can to if you like." Her grin widens_

I thought she was crazy but wherever I went women followed. They held on to the future open flyers of Egocentric as if their life depended on it. It might have been my smirk, my eyes, hair, body or outfits but whatever it was the ladies couldn't get enough of me.

_~.~_

"_Keep still" she says while helping me slides on my D&G jeans._

_"Why do you need to help me pick out my clothes? I haven't had a problem so far."_

_"Humor me ok? It's close to open and I need something to ease my nerves. How about this?" she says holding up a pin stripe halter top._

_"No!"_

_"Ummm, why not?" she question and I don't even dare to look at her. "Ashley?"_

_"It will show off my bruise ok."_

_"Your bruise is fi-"_

_"No, I just would rather not."_

_"Ok." She puts the halter down and walks out her long jet wavy black hair sweeping over her bare toned cheeks._

_The night I told her I would not have sex with her I lied to both of us because I knew I would and still am. I bite my bottom lip and run after her._

_End Flash Back_

"Someone believed in me enough to invest in the idea." I say with a small smile playing at my lips.

"Oh I see." The older blonde nods her head and Spencer rolls her eyes.

Spencer is in the passenger seat and mommy dearest is sleeping in the back seat again. We have been driving in silence since we left the Promenade. Having enough of the silence I decide to turn on the radio. As soon as I hear the instruments my heart sinks into my feet and I look over to Spencer who looks like her heart is doing the same.

**Desperate for changing, starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you**

_2 years earlier_

"_Where are we going" She questions_

"_Now if I tell you it wouldn't be a surprise." I say trying not to trip her up as I guide her. "Ok, take a deep breath."She does so. "Now open your eyes." I remove my hands from her eyes._

_"The roof?" she questions a bit confused._

_"Spence if we stop getting excited over the ordinary things will stop appreciating life's simple treasures." I say handing her a long stem rose from behind my back. I made sure to stand in front of it so she wouldn't see me grab it. She smiles at me while holding it close to her."I know birds of paradise are your favorite but I want to be a little simpler. Please sit." I point to the lawn chair next to her and she does so._

_"Are you going to sit down?" She pats the lawn chair next to her._

_I close my eyes trying to slow down my heartbeat, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, and exhale before opening my eyes to her smiling face I return the gesture. I shouldn't be this nervous, Spence and I been living together for a year now granted she finally let me stay in the room without trying to get me about a month ago but still I'm Ashley freaky Davies I don't get nervous…bull. Spence makes my heart jump into my throat, my legs get weak, and cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I clear my throat._

_"Ordinary is absolutely beautiful but you my love is anything but ordinary and simple is not enough for you." I reach over my empty lawn chair to grab the large picnic basket._

_"What are you up to?" Spence licks her lips and gives me the look of approval._

_"You'll see."I reach over my empty lawn chair grabbing a remote. I smile at Spence's raised brow before pushing the button. I see her face light up as the small white Christmas lights light all around the roof._

_"Ash it's beautiful, when you had time for this?" she gets up from her chair wrapping her arms around my neck._

_"I always make time to do something special for you." She gently kisses my lips and I feel my heart flutters. She pulls back looking at me and I find it hard to breath. God why am I so nervous._

"_Baby" I look at her dreamy eyed and she knows this mean to continue. She giggles. "Why don't we sit down?" I nod my head in agreement. _

_She release her hands from my neck grabs my hand and we make our way over the lawn chairs. We lay on our side facing each other. Scooting the chair next to each other we untangle our fingers and place our hands into each other's hair._

"You are so beautiful." I slide her hand out of my hair and kiss her palm, down her arm, and back up to her palm.

_She starts to study my face knowing I'm holding something back. She licks her lips before taking my hand out her hair and mirroring my previous action._

_"What is the worst poem you ever wrote?"_

_I snap my head back and let out a hardy laugh. "What the hell Spence? Heck" I correct shyly after looking at the scolding look in her eyes._

_"You're an amazing poet but you have to have at least one poem that falls short of the mark." I twist my lips squint my eyes and think for a minute. I smile in realization I sit up and she mimics the action._

"_Rose are red, violets are blue, pussy is pink." I smirk and she tilts her head. "So fuck the other two." She falls out laughing and I do the same._

_After a few minutes of nonstop laughter we wipe the tears from our eyes and connect hands once again and stare at the stars. It's always amazing to see the stars In LA. It's not as easy to see stars out here as it is other places._

_I am so lost in the moment I know I still have to accomplish what I set out to do. I reach my other hand under the lawn chair pulling out the radio under it setting it on the table next to me never releasing my other hand from Spence and push play._

_**Desperate for changing, starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you**_

_I stand up and she does the same a little startle by my sudden movement. I kiss her knocks to show my apology. I turn to face her completely wrapping her hands around my neck and mines around her waist as I begin to sing the lyrics to her._

_**Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete  
I'll take your invitation; you take all of me now.  
I'm falling even more in love with you**_

_Her eyes widen a little and I take a deep breath and start to sing over the radio, badly but I don't care, before I lose my nerve._

_**Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you.**_

_Once the song ends where standing there holding each other with tears rolling down our face. She smiles and I can finally breathe._

_"Does this mean?" she barely chokes out._

_"Yes Spence, I love you. I loved you form the moment I saw you." I look into her watery blue eyes. You walked into my café and I knew in that moment you had to be mine. I been trying to tell you I love you for as long as I've know you. Her lips begin to quiver. Feelings are easy they happen if you want them to or not, but words and thoughts is what makes it complicated. It feels good to say I love you. I rub circles on her hand with my index finger before wrapping my arms back around her waist. I love you, I love you, I love you!" I scream._

_She smiles hard "I love you too Ashley Davies" she places her head on my chest and I place my head on top of her and we hold each other. We dance to every song that came on for countless hours until we decided to go back into the apartment._

_End of flash back_

**Just hanging by a moment**

**Just hanging by a moment**

**Just hanging by a moment**

**Just hanging by a moment here with you.**

Spence reaches for my hand when the song ends and I let her grab it. We turn to face each other both giving a weak smile before I turn back to face the road ahead.

* * *

**A/N** Songs by Nia Kate: YoYo Love (check her out on Youtube and Facebook) and Lifehouse- Hanging by a moment. This is one of my fav song and no matter how many times I hear it it feels like the first time. So happy to incorporate it in Spashley world. If you haven't heard it check it out.

Please leave your thoughts, feeling, and what not. The next chap is almost done and the more reviews the faster I can get it out to you. By the way to those who think their reviews suck and because of that are afraid to review, if you have more to say than PMS or something similar your reviews will be wonderful! Thank you for reading. **To add to your review leave one word describe how you feel about Ashley, Spencer and Paula...this should be fun. ;)**


	9. Hold on to your past

_A/N: Okay I know I'm about to sound like every student who writes fic, but it's hard out here for a student, especially a Dean's list student like myself (dust shoulders off).Anywho,only two more weeks and I'm done for now; However, busy is my middle name so no type of free time but after this update I should be able to get the next one to you guys by next week since it's done. All I have to do is edit it. I want to thank all of those who haven't messed reviewing a chapter...you gals are the reason I continue to write :). I know I been slacking on my PM Pals but I have not forgotten you... I will reply as soon as I pass this math final. Well I hope you gals enjoy this chap as much as I enjoyed writing it. Shout out to my Beta! ;)_

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

**Hold on to your past. Don't let it hold on to you  
***Spencer*

"Can you just put Clay on the phone?!" I drop my forehead into my hands.

"Okay? But I'm staying on Skype." He smiles like a little kid taunting their older sibling.

"You know what I mean Glen, can you please hand Clay the laptop? I need his advice on something." I blow out a puff of air.

"Oh trouble in paradise?" He winks. I shake my head wishing he was in person so I could punch him right now. "Where is the little lady anyway?" He gets closer to the web cam looking around then sits down.

"She's on the roof with mom-"

"Oh my God Spence you sent Ash to murder mom? We just lost dad do you really want to off another parent?" His smile widens.

"You are sick you know that?" I question this time moving my face closer to the webcam.

"Yeah maybe but all the girls love me." He smiles and nods slowly. "You might as well tell me what's going on Spence because I'm not getting off Skype until you do." He folds his arms across his chest getting comfortable in his seat.

"Fine!" I huff slamming back into the coach.

"Ashley and I are having some real problems and I am digging myself into a bigger hole. I don't mean to it's just every time mom questions me about my love life I get angry and say really horrible things. Ash is great and pretty forgiving but there's only so much a person can forgive. I want to apologize but I just can't bring myself to do so. I think deep down inside I know I don't deserve it. I'm not even sure if I deserve her." I finish all in one breath before dropping my head down.

"Spence why don't you just tell mom the truth? It's not like she can send you away."

"She can end up going away." I say in a whisper.

"Huh?" He questions with a confused look on his face. He clearly didn't hear me.

"You're one to talk. Mom doesn't even know you moved in with Clay to save money because you pretend to be well off. Plus the fact you been working at the abortion clinic for six years. You don't dare to tell mom because you know how she is. Why must I tell her my secret?"

"First off all I do is paper work at my job and second your secret is a person and people don't like to be kept in the dark."

"Whatever." That's all I got as I roll my eyes.

"You better start acting right before Ashley throws you back in the sea." He puts his hand behind his head and leans back.

"We wouldn't want that because that would make me free to date your girlfriend." I lick my lips and smile.

He leans forward fast "Spence you-you need to stop playing." He stutters out.

"I have to go Glen mom and Ash are coming. Bye." I close the laptop faintly hearing him scream 'quit playing.'

"Oh my, it's such a beautiful view up there." My mother expresses. "I don't know about you two but I am beat. I had a great time today at the Promenade and then seeing the roof. Now I am going to take a hot shower and go to bed." She grabs her pjs she laid out on the couch and walks to the bathroom.

"Spence?" Ashley calls me while looking at her phone.

"Yes?" I reply.

"Why is Glen talking about keep you away from his girlfriend?" I giggle and reach for her hand that she pulls away. "What are you doing?" She looks up giving me a glare that tears me apart.

"I thought- I thought." I stop because I don't know what to say.

"You thought what? You think because we shared a few weak smiles and held hands to a song that made me feel nostalgic that all the issues between us have gone away? Spence today you didn't just deny us you denied love like you have a vendetta against it or something." She shakes her head. "How can your mother respect us if you don't?" I see the tears begging to fill her eyes and I feel like less of a woman.

"It's been a long day." She stops to catch her breath as her lips tremble. "I am going to go in what's now my room and wait until your mother gets out the shower to take one." She wipes the tears that are now falling freely down her cheeks.

I wrap my arms around myself as I drop down to my knees and sob into my shirt. "Hey you…up there." I sob out. "I know you and me haven't been on the best speaking terms with me being upset at you for giving me a mother who takes everything I love away from me." I giggle sarcastically. "Then I became really upset with you for taking away my biggest support…my father." I swallow down my tears. "They say you may not come when we want you but you'll be there on time. Well, I need you now." I wipe away a few tears. "Dear God grant me the strength to tell my mother. I know everything you do is to work in our favor even if we don't see it. But please, I beg you to not let me lose either one of the women I love. Amen."

*Ashley*

"I am excited to see where you work." The older blonde beams from the passenger seat. I return a much smaller smile.

Last night's shower and sleep didn't help at all. I woke up with a bitch of a headache after crying myself to sleep then waking up crying wasn't pleasant either. This morning I was greeted by Spence's puffy eyes offering a bagel and fruit. This meal would be ideal for most...not Spence and I. I don't know what's becoming of us all I know is I don't like it.

"We're here." I announce pulling my car up to one of three parking spaces. One for me, my manger, and the codes marshal, who happens to be my ex. I roll my eyes at the thought of her visits.

She always wants me back and at this rate I might just consider it. What the hell am I thinking? I love Spence just having some rough times that's all. It will get better right?

"Ash are we going in?" The older blonde snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Oh yes." I jump out of my seat.

We walk in the café from the back entrance and Spence offers to give Paula a tour, knowing I need a second with my best girlfriend.

"Hey… sexual chocolate." I let the words roll off my tongue finishing it with my signature smirk.

"Ash you are crazy.' She giggles. Mmmm, that enticing giggle that made me hook up with her in the first place.

_10 years earlier_

_"I think I like girls." I say wiggling my toes in the pool. I always come to the school pool to talk to my best girl whenever I'm feeling down and with parents like mine… that's often._

_"Really? Why?" she questions placing her cheek against her shoulder._

_I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know it's just every time I'm around them I want to lick their face."_

"Ewww." She pushes my shoulder causing me to fall into the pool

"Oh my god Ash are you ok?" She giggles and I cross my arms and pout. "Don't pout; you know it's irresistibly cute."

"Really?" I cheese hard "Help me." I reach my hand for hers.

"Ok, but don't pull me in Ash." She pleads.

"I won't. How could you think I would do such a thing?" I mock offense

She gives me her hand and I start to step out. I stop before I get all the way out giving her a devilish grin as I bite my lip. She starts to shake her head as she mouths 'no, no, no' and I pull her in.

"Ash! You promised." She whines while splashing me.

"I had my fingers cross." I say through a giggle while splashing her back.

"You don't mess with a black girl's hair." She splashes me again and I splash her back. "Wait, wait I got something in my eye."

"Stay still let me get it." I open her eye a little and begin to blow in it. "How does that feel?"

She opens it slowly. "Fine."

"Fine?" I lick my lips.

"Fine." She swallows the lump in her throat as we continue to stare at each other.

I move closer to her causing her to back up until she can't any more. "Chelse?" I look at her lips then back in her eyes.

"Yeah." She mimics the action.

"Do you like girls?" We stare hard into each other and I hope she says yes because it's taking every ounce in me not to take every ounce of her.

She begins to breathe heavy while I hold my breath. She slides her hands out the water up to both sides of my face then kisses me.

_We're lying by the side of the pool wrapped in each other's naked wet skin while facing each other._

"I definitely like girls." I lick her face.

_"Ewe Ash" She makes a yuck face._

"So what… you don't like me?" I tease.

_"You're alright." She giggles._

_"You weren't saying that a few minutes ago." I slide my tongue ring against her ear lobe._

_"Ash?" She says my name soft and slow as she runs her finger across my jaw line._

_I close my eyes "Mhm?" I moan._

_"Maybe we should get dressed." She smirks. "You think the clothes are dry yet?" She wiggles her brows._

_"You're such a tease." I open my eyes giving her a wide grin._

_She shrugs."Maybe but I can please too." She winks. _

_I look her up and down licking my lips. "That you can Ms. Lewis. That you can." I smirk._

_"I'll go check on our clothes." I stand up watching her watch me as she nibbles her bottom lip." Then you're coming home with me." She looks away getting lost in her thoughts. _

_"You can't stay inside the school's gym forever. I joke but when she doesn't response I become serious."You know my mom's never there anyway." She nods looking in the opposite direction. _

_"What about Aiden?" She questions softly finally looking at me._

_"What about him?" I retort as if I have a bad taste in my mouth._

"He is your boyfriend." She rolls her eyes.

_"I'm not seeing the problem." I quirk a brow._

_"I don't know Ashley" She looks nervous as I hand her her shirt that still damped._

"Do you regret what we did?" I rub the back of my neck becoming a bit nervous myself. She shakes her head.

_"Never." She gives me a reassuring smile._

Chelse and I were always down to do any and everything. I think it's because we shared the same birthday and zodiac sign. Everything was great between us. Well, until I started getting sick in the mornings.

"We can't be together." I whisper.

"What?!" She shouts.

"I-"

_"You what?!'_

_"I'm pregnant, damaged goods." I blurt out in one breath. She pauses for a second clearly drowning in my words._

_"How did this happen?" She questions still at a lost._

"It must of happen when he stuck his di-"

"Hey!"

"Sorry." I say in a small voice staring at my Chucks. "Aiden and I had sex for the last three days before me and you did our first time." I breathe out dropping my head becoming drained from the thought. "I felt if I continue to sleep with him maybe I'd start feeling for him what I feel for girls…that never happened." I smile at her "Especially when what I feel when even thinking about you is more than I ever felt near him. That's why I ended it when we got together but-"

"But, you can't end this" She says in a small tone finishing my thought while place a hand on my stomach.

"Then we're going to have a baby." She smiles. I look at her with eyes of disapproval shaking my head.

"No. I can't ruin three lives." She looks hurt and I hate that I'm the cause.

"What?! That is not your decision to make!" Tears start to build in her eyes.

"Yes it is. This last month has been great Chelse…but maybe that's where it stops." I walk away not daring to look back.

_End Flashback_I didn't see Chelsea again until she came in the cafe looking for a manger's position. It was so great to be near her again. We would mess around between girlfriends, she was great at helping me get over an ex. Chesle and I loved screwing each… we just weren't in love with each other.

"Hey vanilla vixon." She giggles bringing me out my thoughts. "What brings you by?" she questions raising a brow.

"What? I can't stop in to see my favorite girl?"

"Hmmmm." She lifts her eyebrow even higher."You never stop in the café between Christmas and New Years. What's going on?" She crosses her arms in front of her chest waiting for me to continue.

I let out a deep breath. "It's Spence-"

"What has that she devil done now? I always knew she didn't deserve you. Do I have make her disappear-"

"Chelse woosah!" I inhale lifting both hands above my head before exhaling while bringing them together down in front of my face all the way to my stomach. She softens a little shaking her head and I smile. "Now can I finish?"

"No" She rolls her eyes while crossing her arms over her chest.

"Really? You ask me what's wrong then when I try to tell you-"

"Ok fine. Tell me"

I give her a big grin that always makes her soften up. I tell her everything that has been going on between Spence, Paula, and I.

"So let me get this straight you are allowing your girlfriend who you support finically, emotionally, and lay a good pipe have her mother come in control your life?" She smacks her lips

"Lay the pipe down… really?" I raise a brow.

"Don't act like you don't talk about your tongue and strap as if it's a dick." She rolls her eyes. "All lesbians do." She adds starting to laugh.

"I plead the fifth." I choke out through a giggle.

She stops laughing and becomes serious again. "Seriously Ash what are you thinking?"

"Me?" I point to myself shocked.

"Yes you." She points at me. "Spence might be fucked up for treating you like shit but you are allowing her too."

"I don't know. I love her and I want to support her-"

"Bull shit." She cuts me off harshly. "That woman doesn't need support what she needs is a reality check."

"Maybe you're right, but the song came on and I crumbled." I sigh placing my forehead on my folded arms on the counter.

"What song?"

"The one I love by Lighthouse?" I lift my head up to show off a smile.

"Lighthouse?" She gives a confuse look.

"Yeah you know. 'Hanging by a Moment'?"

"Oh you mean Lifehouse?" I lift myself all the way up.

"No I mean Lighthouse." She grins.

"Then you mean wrong boo. Look." She shows me the playlist on her phone." I look at it

"I'll be damn. All this time I thought it was Lighthouse." I shake my head in disbelief. "What the fuck is a Lifehouse anyway?" I question. She looks off in the distance clearly thinking about  
it.

"It's that place where people grow they plants right?" I laugh a little at her reply.

"Girl, that's a greenhouse." I say laughing hard and she joins in.

"Then I don't fucking know." She says through her giggle. I always love talking to my best girl since Spence is anti profanity it's nice to have someone to freely curse with.

"What the fuck you thinking about?" She teases.

"You've been around me too long." I smirk at her

"Care to explain what you mean by that?"

"You never cursed until you started hanging around me and it got worse when you started working here."

"Whatever bitch." She rolls her eyes. "You are not getting off the hook that easy by confusing me with band names." I laugh and shake my head.

"Seriously Chelse, I'll never be able to listen to that song the same. I use to image the band on a boat heading to a lighthouse when I heard it. I look off into the distance as if I'm picturing it. "I can't imagine them heading to a lifehouse. I don't know if you need a boat to get there or what the hell it is." I try to hold in my laugh but fail miserably.

"Shut the fuck up!" She falls back against the bar. "I can't breathe." She places her hands on her knees continuing to laugh before she becomes serious again. "Really Ash if you won't tell mother and daughter to get their selves together…I will." She gives me her 'I'm not fucking around look'

"No, no that's fine I'll just grab a few containers of rice cream to go and be on my way."

"Hold up. You usually take one container and be fine until Jan 2." She narrows her eyes while twisting her lips.

"Yeah about that…" I stretch the word before biting my lip.

"Oh hell no! Now mother- mooch- a lot is eating your food." She starts taking off her earrings.

"Really, mother- mooch- a lot? Where do you get these things?" I smirk trying to calm her.

"I guess I have been around you too long." She places her earrings in front of her and smiles.

"I toss my hair back then dust off my shoulder. "I do rub off on people."

Her smile disappears as soon as it came and she looks pissed again.

"Please relax. I don't need to break up a fight right now." I try and plead with her.

"Fine." She says placing two containers of rice cream in front of me.

"Fine?" I bite my lip picking them up.

'Fine." She giggles.

"The café is really lovely." The older blonde pats my shoulder

"Thank you." I look over to Chelsea who's giving Paula and Spence the death stare. "Let's go." I try to push them along.

"Wait Ash I haven't met your friend." She looks at Chelsea

Bad move-

"Hello I'm Paula, Spence's mom." She puts her hand out and Chelsea takes it with a smile.

Okay maybe this won't be so bad.

"Hi I'm Chelsea and I love pussy." She stretches the word and all our mouths drop. "What's your diet of choice?" She smirks. Paula continues standing there with no words.

I snap out of it. "Okay lets go." I remove Paula's hand from Chelsea's pushing her and Spence towards the door.

"Ashley." I hear a voice from behind me.

"Yes-"I turn around to stand there mirroring a deer in headlights. "Helen Houston." I say slowly.

"In the flesh." She gives me a wicked grin.

"Ash are you coming?" Spence asks and when I face her I see the worry in her eyes.

"You can go and I'll have one of the girls give me a ride back. Can you take this" I hand the rice cream to her and turn back to face Helen as I faintly hear Spence and her mom walk out.

"Ash you look like you've seen a ghost" Her grin widens

"It's been a long time Helen." I cross my arms.

"Too long." She licks her lips seductively.

"What are you doing here Helen?" I narrow my eyes.

"What? No smile for an old friend?" I scrunch my face. "Is it a crime to come in for some tea?" She giggles "Of course it isn't. I'm a lawyer so I should know."I roll my eyes.

"You hate tea and the only water you drink is FIJI." I narrow my eyes at her.

"Why so serious Ash?" I raise a brow. "Maybe I wanted to see you."

"Why?" I scoff.

"Why do you have to play so tough?" She comes closer to me and I hold my breath. I don't know why but I can't seem to breathe regularly with her this close. "We both know if you get into any trouble you'll drop my name like it's hot." I stifle a smile.

"Is that a smile trying to form?" I remember you use to smile all the time." She winks.

'That was then this is now." I roll my eyes.

"I would think you would have a smile from ear to ear with those two blonde beauties that just walked out of here" I suck my teeth. "Who were they anyway?" She questions with a sense of awareness in her tone.

"That's none of your business." I spit at her.

"Whoa…down tiger." She rubs her finger against my clenched fist. I shake my head while giggling in disbelief.

"Now that's the smile I'm used to." She smirks.

I quickly wipe the smile off my face. "What's the real reason you're here Helen?

"What do you mean?" she fakes ignorance.

"I know you well enough to know you only make an effort when you want something. I also know you love your espresso and that's why you have a top of the line machine at home."

"It's nice to be known." I roll my eyes. "Okay you got me. I'm retiring and finally have time for a love life." She lets out a deep sigh.

"Ok." I say in a 'whatever tone'.

"I miss you Ashley and I want you back." She gives a smile I'm not used to…a nervous one.

"Well that's too bad because the two ladies that walked out of here are my girlfriend and her mother."

She puts her head down and shows a look I never seen on her face before…defeat. " How does it feel?" she says in a low tone.

"How does what feel?"

"Finally having a girlfriend to be out and open with?" She lifts her eyes to mine. I lick my lips and look away.

"Ash?" She calls me and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Her mother doesn't know about us." I say disgusted

"Excuse me?" She perks up even more.

"My girlfriend's mother doesn't know me and her daughter are together Helen." I say her name harshly.

Her face lights up the way it does when she has just found that small piece of evidence that will help her win an impossible case.

"Funny the 20 year old I used to know had so much more spunk then the 26 year old that's standing in front of me." She shakes her head. "You let love soften you." She rubs her finger across my bruise. "Love has made you strong in some areas but weaker in others." She comes closer to my ear. "Baby Dyke."

_2 years and six months earlier_

_"When are you going to acknowledge that this is my room also?" I pull her closer to me._

_"Ummm never. We are roommates and roommates don't share a room or bed."I lean back and laugh. _

_"I don't know what's so funny?" She pouts and I kiss it away._

"Babe did you not just hear what you said?"

"What?" She questions with the cutest wide eyes and agape mouth.

"Awe you are the cutest." I kiss her cheek. "Babe look around." I widen my arms for emphasis. "We are naked in the same bed in the same room. I don't think roommates do this sort of thing. I place my finger to my chin and look up at as if I'm thinking. She playfully smacks my finger away.

_"Shush." She crosses her arms, huffs, and pouts. Giving me her knock out brat combo. I giggle_

"Babe I didn't say nothing." I steal a hint of her lips.

"You didn't have too. I know you very well Ms. Davies." She rubs her nose against mine and smiles.

_"Do you Mrs. Davies?" I wiggle my brows and her smile widens._

_I lay back and she rests her head on my breast. I moan at the touch of her fingers on my abs down to my V-cut. She makes circles across my pantie line. I bite my lip closing my eyes as I enjoy her soft strokes._

"Are you trying to get something started?" She lifts her head and gets on top of me.

_She starts straddling me placing her hands on both sides of my head. She gives me a flirty smile I reach up and pull her unruly hair she moans at the touch. She wiggles out my grips and dips her head to start kissing down my breast, stomach, then brushes her lips against my bruise. I stiffen opening my eye at the contact of her lips on my bruise. She notices my discomfort and kisses her way back up to my breast and stops to look at me._

"Baby?" She tilts her head.

"Yes babe?" I smirk at her.

"Why do you always tense up when I get near your bruise?"

"Because it's ugly." I turn my face away from hers.

She begins to kiss on the side of my neck and I smile and turn back to face her. "Stop it you know that's my spot." I roll my tongue ring against my bottom lip.

"How can it be ugly when it's apart of you?" Her face is the most serious I've ever seen it. "It may have come from an ugly place but it's nothing to hide."

"Babe can you just let it go?" I whine.

"No, Ashley we been together for six month and every time it comes to your bruise you get insecure. I smile hard at her.

"What?" She furrows her brows together.

"So we're together now?" She rolls her eyes.

"I'm willing to bet you if we go out with your bruise showing you will get as much attention as you do when it's not."

_"A bet huh?" She raises a brow knowing I'm up to no good."Since I'm a gambler what is the wage?" I question with a wide grin._

"Hmmm. If I'm wrong I finally let you strap me anally." My eyes widen in excitement. "But if I'm right I get to do you."

"O00o0, so it's a win win? Deal!" I wiggle my brows and she shakes her head.

After getting showered, dressed, and traffic we're finally walking from the parking lot to the sand of Venice beach. I wipe my right hand on my shorts and inwardly apologize to Spence who's holding my left sweaty hand. If it wasn't for the purple backless sleeves halter showing my bruise I would think I look good in my H&M gold short shorts, with my purple Coach shoes with gold shoe strings.

_"Ugh! Why are we here?" I whine. No one comes to the beach in January. She looks around before looking back at me._

"Do you not see all these people?" She waves her arms for emphasiis and I roll my eyes. "Okay I'm going to sit over there." She points to table outside of small food shack. I hold on tighter to her hand. She looks into my nervous eyes before kissing me on the lips. "You'll be fine baby. I don't want to cock block."

_"Clam jam." I smiles which she gladly return._

Before Spence could even sit down a girl on her beach cruiser brakes so fast to talk to me she almost flips over.

_I decide to relieve Spence from her post after telling the tenth girl in twenty minutes I was happily taken. I give a big smile as I walk over to Spence who's flashing me her pearly whites._

"What did you say to all those girls to make them walk away so sad." She teases as I stop in front of her. I kneel down and grab her hand.

"I said thanks but no thanks because I'm happily taken." She blushes.

"Now why would you say that?" She tilts her head.

"Spence you make me better and only a fool wouldn't want to be with someone who makes them shine…please be mine." I finish with my signature smirk.

"You are such a poet." She teases. Her smile widens and she nods her head "Of course I'll be yours." I grab her out of her seat and spin her around listening to the melody of her laugh play in my ears.

Later that night it was a win win since she let me cash in my part of the bet along with hers.

_End of flashback._She takes me out of my thoughts by placing her card in my hand before placing my hand to my chest. She comes close to my ear. "When you're ready to be with someone who knows how to appreciate you." She licks her lips. " You know where to find me." She begins to walk away as I watch. She turns around. "You're girlfriend better wise up because 20 year old Ashley is still in there and she…don't take no shit." She smirks.

_Six years Earlier_

"Helen I'm tired of this!" I half way shout.

_"You don't have to shout." She sips her Scotch. "What's the problem?" She takes another sip._

_"This is the problem" I stir my finger in the air in no particular direction. She looks at me continuing to drink her Scotch. "You sleep with me but then you don't care if your friends try to sleep with me too." I shake my head trying to stop the tears that are threatening to fall. She continues to sip her Scotch. "I don't know what I am to you. Am I your client, partner, lover, or your whore?" I stretch out the last word and she continues to sip her Scotch. "Say something." I smack her cup out her hand._

"Baby dyke you just spilled a 30 year old Scotch on a $3000 rug. It's going to cost a bitch to get it out." She says sternly.

"That's all you care about is material." I shake my head. "You're just like my mother." I whisper. "You didn't even say anything after I told you your friend wanted to fuck me right there in her publishing office. What did you do whore me out?" My lips begin to tremble.

"Don't be foolish. However, I don't see anything wrong with giving a little to get a little." She chuckles.

"What the fuck!" I begin to pace the room. "Is that what this is? I point between me and her. She doesn't move a muscle in her face as she stares at me.

_"Baby dyke you are the only person I sleep with purely off of desire and not for a benefit. She stands up to pour herself another drink. "I slept with you way before you said you would do business with me or not." She softens. "I wanted you." Her face goes back cold once the words escape her lips._

"Thank you. I feel so privilege." I say sarcastically. She sips her drink

"I had to suck a few dicks to make my way up the ladder; it doesn't make me any less successful or strong. My mouth is an extension of my skills and my pussy is an extension of my talents." She downs the rest of her drink and pours another one.

"That's the difference between us I don't suck dick and when I eat pussy it's only for desire." I begin to pace again. I stop and fold my arms as I look at her. "I don't even think I'm going to take the publishing deal." I begin to pace again.

"Don't be stupid she thinks you are an amazing writer. I sent her an email of your work and she pushed to meet with you ahead of people who've been waiting for months because of how much she believes in your work. She wanted you as a client before she even seen you." She gulps her Scotch. "Once she did see you she let her pussy control her. Ash you've been running Egocentric for a year and a half now you should know better than anyone women lose their good sense when it comes to you." She downs her second drink and turns her back to me to pour another.

"I don't want to be your secret." I shout and she stops pouring to look at me. "Either we're doing this for real or not at all." I say firmly. She doesn't acknowledge me. She just continues to pour her drink.

She finally faces me "I am a black and Italian women in a men's game. I can't add lesbian to the equation." She takes a gulp of her third drink.

"I'm not saying come out to the world but at least to your close friends." A tear escapes my eye. "At least give a damn if your friends try to fuck me." I shout. "At least act like you care if you lose me." I whisper the last part. She downs her last drink and stumbles to her chair before flopping down saying nothing. I walk off coming back with my purse in hand.

"What's that?" She slurs then hiccups.

_"Here's ten percent of the money you invested into the café to start it. I'll have the rest to you soon as I can." I place the check on her table. I go pack my bags and grab my jacket._

"Where are you going?" She asks as I walk out the bedroom with my bags in hand towards the door.

_"Since you're never at the café or care enough to ask me how my day was. My days have consisted of me having an apartment built on top of the lounge… and it's finally done." She just smiles like a damn fool._

"That's alright she'll be back. Another Quaalude and she'll love me in the morning." She quotes Scarface. I continue walking out the door.

_I turn to look at her. "I'll send payments to your back account until it's paid off. I close the door faintly hearing her giggle._

_End of Flash back._

Ugh! I flop on the stool in front of Chelse.

She continues drying off the coffee mug in her hand not paying me any mind. I groan again and she giggles.

"Is something bothering you?" She puts down the mug and picks up another one to dry.

"That was Helen." I pout.

"No shit, really?" I nod my head yes. "Wow, she's been lurking around here for weeks. I figure she was looking for you but I just thought she was another groupie." She puts down the mug and picks up another one.

"Ugh! I paid her off two years ago through her bank account so I wouldn't have to see her ass again."

"So why is hot tamale here?" I raise a brow at her. "Hot tamale I'm sweating." She begin to dance.

"Please stop… I'll tell you." I try to control my laugh.

"Spit it out!" She playfully rolls her eyes.

I let out a heavy sigh. "She wants me back. I know she knew I had a girlfriend because she is not one to not do her research." I nod slowly.

"You have to respect a woman who knows what she wants." She teases.

I cross my arms in front of my chest and pout. "Too little too late."

"When is it going to be too little too late with Spence?" She grabs another mug.

"Seriously Chelse?" I whine.

"I'm just saying."

"Well don't. You are supposed to be my best girl and make me feel better…you're slipping." She puts down the mug that's now dry and places the towel over her shoulder. She leans next to my ear.

"I can take you upstairs and we can…mmmm reminisce." She pulls back licking her lips. I smirk hard at her.

"I have a girlfriend."

"So?"

"You have a girlfriend." I roll my eyes at the thought. She shrugs.

"You never forget your first." She winks. I smirk even harder before biting my lip.

"How is the slut anyway?"

"She's not a slut." She rolls her eyes and picks up another mug." When are you going to stop hating her?"

"I don't understand why you stopped? She made our lives hell and you said she was worse when I left."

"She still was figuring herself out Ash. She was just projecting her self- hate on us." She gives a small smile.

"I still don't like her."

"Let's not get on girlfriends we don't like." She counters. I tilt my head to the side and let out a deep sigh. She stares at me a bit before twisting her lips. She smiles.

"What you smiling about?" I smirk. "Stop thinking about me naked Chelse." I scream causing everyone to look at us.

"You're an ass." She tosses the towel at me and I catch it.

"You love me. I give her a toothy smile.

"Anyway, before you decide to be an ass I thought of something to make you feel better."

"Chelse, I told you I have a girlfriend."

"Not that." She walks over to her phone that's connected to the café speakers.

**I whip my hair back and forth**

**I whip my hair back and forth**

**(Just whip it)**

"Oh hell no." I look at her wide eye.

"It's time to embarrass you now bitch." She turns the music up louder.

**I whip my hair back and forth**

She steps back tossing her head back then leans forward slapping her locks against the counter.

**I whip my hair back and forth**

"Come on Ash!" She continues doing the move.

**I whip my hair back and forth **

She calls the waitresses on the floor and they all start whipping their hair.

**I whip my hair back and forth**

"Come on boo. You know you want to."

Should I be embarrassed for being 26 and loving this song? Fuck it! I stand on the counter and start singing the next verse.

**Don't let haters keep me off my grind**

"Yeah, fuck you Paula!" Chelse puts her middle finger in the air. I laugh at her

**Keep fighting until I get there."** Chelsea and the servers start punching the air. **When I'm down and feel like giving up.**

I whip my hair back and forth  
I whip my hair back and forth  
(Just whip it.)

The girls, Chelse, and I whip our hair. They get on the counter with me.

**I whip my hair back and forth  
I whip my hair back and forth.  
(Whip it real good)**

Some of the customers have started to join in at their tables.

"Lo que tenemos aquí?" I whip my hair to the familiar voice.

"English bitch." I spit at her.

"I said what have we here?" She smiles and I scrunch up my face.

"Okay party's over." Chelse jumps down from the counter turning off the music.

"I step down and into the Latina's face." What is this bitch doing in my café?" I shout to Chelse never taking my eyes off of the green ones in front of me.

"Ash, you're making a scene." Chelse tries to plead.

"I know you not talking." I retort still not removing my eyes. "You still didn't answer my she's here?" I finally look over to Chelse who's giving me an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry I thought you would be home with the babe or shopping like you always are during this time. When you came in I got lost with you in the moment like we always do and forgot to tell her not to come.'" I look at her and she shrugs softly giving me those puppy dog eyes. I start to melt.

"What's your deal anyway? I turn back to the Latina who rolls her eyes. "I apologized over and over again." I harden at her comment.

"My deal is I hate to see someone I care about stoop so low." I look her up and down. She shakes her head then smiles as she looks me up and down.

"Like what you see?" I do a twirl for her.

"Yeah almost as much as I liked seeing it naked." I stop twirling to give her a nasty look.

"Come on chica I must not be that bad because you had that little threesome with me and Chelse two months before you met Spencer." She leans close to my lips.

"Madison, I angry fucked you don't get it twisted. I still don't like you." I look around to everyone looking at us. "Everyone can get back to their drinks and meals." I shout and they turn around quickly.

"Aren't poets supposed to be forgiving or something?" Green eyes questions..

I suck my teeth "Don't stereotype me. Besides most poets are bitter, angry, and dramatic thank you very much. Chesle, can you take me home? I have damage control thanks to you." I walk past the Latina bumping her shoulder on the way out.

We're half way to my house and honestly we should have been there by now. I know Chesle is taking her time because she has something to say to me but she's trying to make sure her words don't come off too harsh. It's easy for me and Chesle to shoot, talk, and take shit when it's about someone else, but we know are tongues and try to control them when it comes to each other. I look over to her and give a small smile even though she's not looking at me.

"Chesle boo talk to me." I say in a sweet tone.

"Ugh Ash! Don't try to use your charm to make me stop being mad at you." I poke out my bottom lip. "Put that thing away. She slams her palm against the sterling wheel.

"I'm sorry Chocolate." I bite my lip.

"I know Maddy was a total bitch in the past. But she's been my girlfriend for three years can you try to be nice?"

"Ewww I hate when you call her Maddy like she's human or something-"

"Ashley!" She slams her palm again.

"Okay, okay." I drop my shoulders in defeat. "You are going to hurt yourself." I smirk.

"Please… for me?" She gives me the saddest eyes she's ever given and I melt. "Not everyone can be you Ash and aside from you she's the best. Please vanilla?"

"You had me at not everyone can be me" I smirk.

"I hate you." She giggles. We hug and she drops me off in front of my staircase.

I walk up the stairs and once I get to the door I have to hold my chest as if my hand will stop my heart from escaping. My other hand almost slides off the door knob from how sweaty they have become. I open the door that seems as if it's opening extremely slowly. I walk in slowly and look around the living room to see neither blonde there. It's only three o'clock so they can't be asleep. I look in the bedrooms and restroom and they're not there either. Spence most of have taken her mother somewhere to ease the tension Chelse caused. I shake my head at the thought of my friend. I go into the kitchen and check the freezer and my rice cream is here so they must have stopped by the house.

After a failed attempt of hide and seek I decide to turn on the TV. After scrolling through my DVR I settled on watching season two of 'The Walking Dead' since I have fallen so behind on my favorite shows with working at the café, touring, or making love to Spence. I close my eyes and imagine all the moments we shared before mother-mares came. After my day dream I make my famous popcorn, grab one of my herb waters, and relax.

The show is getting so intense that I am at the edge of my couch with my face inches from the TV. The group is surrounded by walkers and my heart starts to beat fast… I am holding my breath when the door flings open. "Aaaaah!" I jump spilling the rest of my popcorn.

"I'm sorry Ashley. I didn't mean to scare you." The older blonde says meekly.

"It's ok. I start picking up the popcorn. She closes the door and walks to the chair next to the couch and has a seat. I clean up all the popcorn and sit it on the table next to the couch. I sit down and face her. "I'm sorry about my friend earlier…she's-

"It's ok." She cuts me off and I'm glad because I honestly don't know where I was going with that. She so calm about it…damn Spence must of got it worse. Speaking of Spence.

"Where is Spence?" I question the older blonde.

"Oh she's on a date." She says simply with a proud smile playing at her lips.

"She's on a what?" I stand up over Paula debating on busting her in the head with the glass water bottle near the bowl of popcorn. I know she set Spence up to this I just know it. But I don't know why the fuck she would agree?

"A date." She repeats herself with an even prouder smile. I walk off to my room not even excusing myself.

I slam the door once inside and grab my phone to send a text.

_What the fuck are you doing!_

I stare at the phone and nothing.

_Are you serious right now?!_

I stare harder at the phone and still nothing.

_A date really?!_

I throw down my phone and pace around the room. I open the door causing it to slam against the wall and go to question Paula.

"How long has she been on this date?" I tap my foot rapidly.

"Since I left, so maybe an hour." She shrugs her shoulders and I want to knock her head off of them.

I walk to the kitchen; I grab a dish rag and begin wringing it as I pace. I come behind Paula's chair and continue to wring the rag tighter imaging it as her neck. I move the rag closer to Paula's head lifting it up. I start to bring it down towards her neck.

"Ashley!" Spence say's coming through the door making both Paula and I turn around to face her.

"Where have you been?" I say breathing heavy.

"I was at the famers market." She says calmly trying to ease the tension…not happening.

"You went on a date? I narrow my eyes.

"I didn't know it was a date." She holds up her finger trying to explain. "We came back here and my mom said she never had yellow watermelon so I said the best yellow watermelon is sold at the farmer market on 3rd and Fairfax." She laughs nervously. I don't soften not even a little. "We put your rice cream up and went to get the melon."

"How do you from watermelon shopping to ending up on a date?" I interrupt her. Please do tell because you can put dating serves out of business." I say harshly.

"The grocery boy who was helping us… well my mom said she was going to the restroom. "She nibbles on her thumb. "After twenty minutes I went to look for her and she was nowhere to be found. That's when I ask the grocery boy did she say anything to him before she left. He said she thinks we would be cute together." She laughs nervously. "I ran to the parking lot and she left with your car and my purse. I didn't have any change to get home. It wasn't a date. It was a set up" She finishes in one breath.

"Spence you could have called me I would have had Chelse give me a ride to get you." I soften a little.

"I didn't have my phone so I start panicking. Lucky for me the Grocer offered to give me a ride home." She gives a weak smile.

"See I knew he was nice." I cut my eyes at the back of her head and begin to walk back to her with the rag. Spence pulls me back.

I turn back around to face her. "Spence, why would you take a ride with this stranger? He could have been dangerous." I say in a worried tone.

"I panicked. She tilts her head still holding my arm. "He's coming up to bring the groceries."

"I thought you didn't have any money?' I give a confuse look.

"I don't but he felt so bad he bought them."

"Un huh. I'm paying him back." I walk in the room to get my wallet. I walk back looking through my wallet where I'm going. I bump into the guy.

"Oh sorry." we both laugh. I look up from my wallet and he lowers the grocery box.

"Ashley?" He drops the box.

"Aiden?! What is this national blast from the past day?" I shout.

"What's the problem" Paula stands up from her seat and walks over to us.

You're the problem Bitch!

"The problem is you set Spence up with my ex!" I snap at her turning around quickly. "And what kind of mother leaves their daughter with no money and no phone to hook up with a stranger?" I try to calm my breathing.

"What kind of roommate gets so upset about their roommate going on a date?" We all look at Spence and she looks down.

Aiden and I shake our head. Why is he shaking his head?

"I can't deal with this!" I shout in Paula's direction and run out the door.

I make my way to the roof. I walk to the edge placing my hands there and screaming before letting out my tears of frustration.

"Ashley?" I hear Aiden walk up behind me. Not the person I wanted to chase me.

"What the hell do you want?" I don't bother to look at him.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're ok." He says sincerely.

"You didn't make sure I was ok when you poked holes in the condom to purposely get me pregnant." I turn to face him. "Paula is a bad judge of character if she thinks you're one of the good guys." I shake my head.

"Ashley I was a jerk for that. Honestly there is no excuse for it but I was young, dumb, and knew I was losing you." He puts his head down. "Desperate times called for desperate measures." He looks up giving an awkward smile.

"Not those measures." I turn back to the edge. "And once I lost the baby you were nowhere to be found." I say sadly.

"When I told you what I did to the condom you didn't talk to me for months. I didn't even know you lost it until Kyla told me."

"Don't say her name." I turn back to face him again.

"I should have come. I should have said something. I didn't know what to say. I felt like shit because if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have to feel the loss of losing a child." Tears escape his eyes.

After crying, screaming, and hitting Aiden I wore myself out. Now we're sitting on the ground near the edge of the roof.

"So how long are you going to sit out here?" He asks timidly.

"You can go?" I retort.

"Nope not this time. We both know when you tell people to leave you really want to see how hard they'll fight to stay." I smile.

"Shut up. " He smiles.

"She does love you, you know." I roll my eyes.

"She told me right away that she had a girlfriend and nothing was going to happen between us. When I offered to give her a ride she told me if I tried anything her girlfriend would cut my balls off and feed them to me."

"She did not." I bump shoulders with him and laugh.

"Okay she didn't, but once I saw that you were her girlfriend that's how I felt." We laugh. I stop once I think how fucked up everything is. "I wanted her to tell her mom about you two like she told me."

"You and me both. You and me both.' I shake my head.

"She's cute."

"Excuse me?" I give him a deadly look.

"No wait." He covers his balls. I can't help but laugh. "I was going to say the cute ones are the most trouble."

"Good save." I roll my eyes.

"You pretty much fucked up my life at one point but I'm glad we had this moment. It really gave me a peace of mind." I let out a heavy sigh before laughing to myself. "I guess if I can give you another chance I should be able to do the same for Madison."

"You guys still bumping heads?" He asks surprised and shake my head 'no'.

"Not so much anymore...I guess"

"Good." He bumps my shoulder.

After watching Aiden get in his truck I decide I can't stay on this roof forever. I go down the stairs and into the house and hear Spence call my name. I keep walking not bothering to look at her. I hear her open and close the door behind me after I make my way into the room. My back is towards her as I try to ignore her.

"Ashley I promise you I didn't know who he was. You never said his name you always said 'that jerk that got me pregnant'."

"Jack ass." I correct while turning around to face her.

"It wasn't a date I promise." I laugh hysterically

"You think this is about him?" I shake my head. "This is about you having another chance to come out to your mother but passed on it yet again. Just get out." I say in a harshly.

"But baby?"

"Go! Please go." I cry out.

I hear a few sniffles before hearing the door shut. I drop face first on the bed. "Fuck my life." I mumble into the pillow.

* * *

_A/N: Feedback is needed and appreciate it. Don't have me waiting by the laptop too long looking like a lost puppy wagging my tail for some love...give me, give me, give me...I'm done. Thank you for reading :)._


	10. Mother-mares

A/N: **OMF (Oh my fanfic!)** I am back so soon and I still missed you all. This Chapter wasn't suppose to be posted until Tuesday but I thought I received such wonderful reviews I would give it to you early. Enjoy!

**Shout out to my beta..whoop! Whoop!**

Thank you to all the new Favs and Followers :) **FOF is at the end of the chapter.**

_One more week of school so the next chap will be posted sooner than you know :)._

* * *

How I met Her Mother

**Mather-mares **

*Ashley*

I remove my face from the pillow and lay on my back as I touch my stained cheeks. I close my eyes wishing today was a nightmare instead of reality but whishes don't always come true. After a moment of lying there I decide to sit up and walk to the dresser. I take out my pen and writing pad then start a poem.

**Forget Me**

**I want you to know  
one thing.**

If little by little you stop loving me  
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly  
you forget me  
do not look for me,  
for I shall already have forgotten you.

I place my pen on my pad and lay my head at the foot of the bed. I lift up my legs, wiggling my toes as I stare at them. I sigh heavy dropping my feet. I grab the pen placing it in-between my teeth thinking of my next lines. I turn the page and begin to write something else.

**Taste**

**My throat is so dry it begins to crack as it burns. I reach for my water to cool it sadly the wetness that guides across my lips never reaches my lungs….maybe that's why I can't breathe. I sip my tea and I feel the steam from the heat yet my insides still feel cold. I miss the taste that use to fill every part of me. Love use to taste so sweet now all I taste is bitter drops of empty. **

I throw the pad against the wall watching the pen fly in opposite direction. I cover my mouth and eyes with my hands before screaming into them. I lie on my stomach thinking of the events from earlier today wondering if love really is enough. I yawn before turn back on back and begin to feel my body melt into the sheets.

*Spencer*

"You and Ashley doing ok?" She question as I walk into the living room.

"No mom we're not." I look her straight in her eyes. "What is wrong with you?" I half way shout.

"Excuse me? You better watch your tone young lady."She orders firmly.

"You are a guest in this house yet you come in here disrespecting everyone and everything. You stole Ash's French Toast and then her car. What kind of person does that?!" I shout at the top of my lungs. My body is shaking I have never talked back to my mother let alone yell at her.

"I didn't know you would be so upset." She spits with no sign of remorse in her tone.

"Are you serious?!" I squat down then bounce back up. "You are about to come between me and my girlfriend." Tears are falling freely now.

"You mean your friend who happens to be a girl… right?" She asks uncomfortably.

"No mother my girlfriend, lover, person I am sleeping with." She holds her chest.

"Spencer. I can't breathe." I roll my eyes.

"Can you stop being so dramatic for once?" I shake my head.

"Spence I can't do this anymore." I turn around to see Ashley with a packed suitcase in her hand.

"Baby wait no! I told her about us don't go!" She shakes her head.

"Too little too late." She whispers. I hold on to her leg. "Ashley no." She drags me until I lose my grip. She's out the door. I stand up to run after her but I fall back because I am being dragged by my hair from the living room to the hallway.

"You are not gay! You hear me?!" My mother yells in my face. She begins to spit on me as she pulls me across the floor. I close my eyes to shield them from all the spit. She wraps my hair around the bed post and begins hitting me in the face. I start to scream for my girlfriend who's far from here by now.

"Ashley! Ashley! Ashley!"

I shoot up from the bed.

"Ashley!"

"What's going on?!" My mom sits up next me clearly startled.

"Oh my God it was just a dream." I whisper while holding my chest.

"Huh?" My mom asks while nodding off.

"Nothing." I give a small smile even though she can't see it with her eyes completely closed. "Go back to bed." I whisper gently pushing her back down. Once her head touches the pillow I hop out the bed to walk to Ashley's room.

Once inside I stop at the wall by the door and watch her sleep. She's so beautiful I smile as I listen to her light snoring. She swears she doesn't snore but I think it's the cutest thing along with her drooling. I slide down the wall and wrap my arms around my knees. As I think about how bad things are.

_Earlier that day_

_I walk out of Ashley's room to look at my mother who's giving me a look I can't quite read. I go to the kitchen and pour some bleach and water in a bucket. Once the bucket is full I place the rag inside. I wring out the rag and begin wiping the already spotless counter. I have been cleaning nonstop since my mother's got here._

"_Spencer?" She calls me and I continue to dip my hand in and out of the water wringing the rag out in the process. "Are we going to talk about this?" Her voice begins to sound shaky._

_I throw the rag in the bucket and grab the broom and dust pan. I begin to sweep around her feet as she stands in the middle of the kitchen floor._

"Waffle?" I feel my whole body tense up as my face turns red.

_I turn around so fast making her step back. "Don't call me that." I grit my teeth." How dare you stoop so low to use his word." I shake my head as tears sting my eyes. I will not allow myself to cry because of her. I close my eyes and breathe in deep._

_"__I'm sorry I just needed to get you to talk to me."_

_"__Mom you can't keep doing things and ignoring how it will affect other people just to get your way." I shake my head. _

_I dump out the garbage in the dust pan inside the trash before putting it beside the broom. I go to the sink to fill up another bucket with water and bleach before I place a mop in and start to mop around her feet._

_She walks out the kitchen to the living room. "Did you really walk across my clean floor dragging water marks into my living room?"She looks at me with a small smile. "I'm sorry."_

_I say in a low voice._

_She sits on the couch and pats the seat next to her. I mop the areas she walked across before putting the mop and bucket up. I go sit down next to my mom and let out a heavy sigh._

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" She crosses her legs placing her folded hands on her knees.

"Please don't treat me like a patient." I give her a sad look.

"You know I don't have patients… just case studies." She teases

"Mom." I say in a sad tone giving her an even sadder look.

"Okay. I'm sorry." She gives a weak smile.

_"I don't know how to feel about you leaving me with a stranger like I mean nothing to you." A single tear escapes my eye and I hate myself for it._

_"Spence. I don't know what to say. I honestly don't know why I do the things I do sometimes. She places her hand on my knee. "Is that all that's bothering you?" She's giving me a 'you can tell me anything look'. I open my mouth but close it just as fast and look away shaking my head at myself._

_"Yeah that's it." I lie not even looking at her._

_"I'm so sorry honey. I never meant to make you feel as if you meant nothing to me. You mean everything to me." She turns my face to face her. "I am truly sorry for my behavior." She starts to cry softly that turns into heavy tears. I look at her not sure what to feel towards her tears or apology for that matter._

We sit in silence the rest of the day with me on one side of the room with my psychology book and her on the other side with hers. I keep staring at Ash's door hoping she comes out, but she never does.

_End of Flashback_

I sit there holding onto my knees tighter watching her sleep. After a countless amount of time I finally decide to get up and leave.

*Ashley*

I lift up from the bed rolling my neck back trying to get out all the tension. I grab my right arm with my life placing it across my chest stretching it out before switching arms and doing the same. I lean my head back and let out a heavy sigh before standing up and walking into the living room.

"Hey Ashley." She smiles at me and if looks could kill she would be lying where she's standing. How dare she think it's ok to speak to me as if last night didn't happen.

She clears her throat before looking behind me "Hey honey." I look out the corner of my eye to see Spence walking next to me. She is slowly shuffling towards her mom with her hair all over her head making non audible noises.

I decide to continue to move next to where Spence is and have a seat. Once Spence and I are on the stools next to each other staring at Paula at the other side of the bar she smiles brightly.

"I realize I was out of line for last night, so I woke up early to get us breakfast." She places one empty bowl with a spoon in front of Spence then one in front of me before pouring cereal and milk into them.

I look at her shaking my head. I'm used to having gourmet meals for breakfast before she got here. Now she's trying to make things better with cereal? I roll my eyes at the sad excuse of a gesture.

"This is just a little something until my surprise gets here." Her smile spreads across her face.

I put my head down staring at the bowl. I can't deal with any more Paula surprises.

"This is a good one I promise." She tries to assure us as if she can read my thoughts or maybe its Spence's 'Night of the Living Dead' facial expression.

After watching my once crispy frosty flakes turn into saggy unrecognizable shapes of their former selves. I stop swirling my spoon in my bowl of untouched cereal and go take a shower and get ready for whatever this day brings.

"Not hungry?" She asks and I scream jumping back holding my chest and she giggles at my dramatic behavior.

"OMG Spence! Why are you waiting by the bathroom door?" I ask with my hand still over my chest.

"My mom went to her Spa day and at first I thought about joining you, but I wasn't sure if I was still welcome to so, I decided waiting for you to get out is the next best thing." She gives a small smile.

"You didn't think to wait for me by the couch or something?" I walk past her towards my room to put my dirty clothes away and I can see her face fall. I turn around and give her a small smirk that she returns with a soft smile.

I walk out of the room and sit Indian style on the couch facing the empty cushion next to me that she fills. We are staring at each other softly watching our brows moves, lips twitch, and chests lift and fall with every breath. I swallow deeply before licking my lips and she follows suit. I clear my throat before getting up and grabbing two herbal waters. I walk back to my spot on the couch and sit back the way I was before handing Spence one of the waters.

"Thank you." She says softly never easing her stare.

"You're welcomes." I reply with my eyes still on hers as I open my bottle of water and take a sip as I continue to stare back.

We take turns taking sips of our water as we stare at each other. Once I get to the bottom of my bottle. I sigh and close my eyes as I try to think of a way to cut the awkward tension. Once I open my eyes I'm greeted by a pair of nervous blue ones that don't look like they have blinked once. I exhale deep before scrunching my nose to my lip before I spit out.

"Ewww Spence are you going to take a shower?" I fall back from the blow of the pillow connecting to my face.

"Shut up you jerk!" She screams over me with her hands around my neck. "Imma kill you." She gets out through her giggle.

"Not unless your breath does it first." I barely get out because I'm laughing so hard. Spence leans back and pokes out her bottom lip while placing her hands across her chest. "Awe." I lean in and kiss her pout away."

I've kissed Spence's pouts away a countless number of times but this time it's different because so much has come between us that even the smallest kiss seems strange. I lean back and she does the same before uncrossing her legs and heading to what use to be our room.

Things are still pretty awkward between Spence and I but we starting to fit back into our mold after watching a few hours of 'The Walking Dead' on the DVR after her shower.

"Seriously the drama of it all." She shakes her head before leaning in more into the couch. I rub her legs that are on my lap. "I mean who would think people have time, to lie, cheat, and go crazy when a zombie apocalypse is going on?" She asks genuinely intrigued.

"The Walking Dead and all other zombie movies, TV shows, and books, for that matter are not about the zombies, as much as we love them, but about human interaction and the monsters we become."She gives me a big smile. "What?" I give her the side eye.

"You're brain is just so sexy Ashley Davies." I shake my head at how corny that was but before I could look away to try and hide my blush. "Are you blushing?" She teases.

"Pfff no." I keep looking away not wanting her to see through my fib.

"She places her finger under my chin and turns my face to her." My brown eyes melt into her blue ones and we breathe in each other. She releases my chin and I run my thumb slowly across her bottom lip, her eyes are begging me to kiss her. Not just any kiss… no, a kiss that tells her I'll still be here after all this. I slide my hand to her cheeks and cup them as I debate if I will be? I lick my lips and swallow around the lump in my throat. I close my eyes leaning towards her and she does the same. I feel my lips brush against hers.

"Spencer!" I jump back before the kiss got a chance to deepen. I stare at blonde woman that looks to be Spence's age. "I'm not interrupting something am I?" She questions with a sneaky grin that means nothing good. "The woman swallows thick when she catches the look I'm giving her.

I hear a thud and look over to where Spence is sitting and notices she is no longer sitting there because she has fainted and is now lying on the floor. I rush to her side placing her head on my knees fanning her.

"Spence you always have been so dramatic." My eyes shoot up filled with venom at the new blonde mumbling under her breath. She clears her throat and lets out a nervous laugh.

"Oh you guys have seen my surprise- Oh my God Spence!" The older blonde stops in her tracks from waking in the door to running and sliding on her knees to the other side of a passed out Spence.

*Spence*

I hear my mother and Ashley voice calling out to me, both sound a bit panicked. I open my eyes to see their worried face kneeling over me. I start to form a small smile until I see the sight of the woman leaning over my mom and I almost pass out again. Ash and my mom lift me up I know this because I feel support on both sides of my body but my eyes are focused on her.

"Mom what is she doing here?" I question my mom but never taking my eyes off of the girl in front of me once I'm too my feet.

"Spence is that any way to greet an old friend?" the girl smirks and I have to hold down my cereal from earlier.

"I think I 'm going to be sick.'' I hold my stomach and mouth and run to the bathroom. It's proving that mental stress can cause changes in the body and I am feeling those changes as I lean over the toilet.

I walk out the bathroom after brushing my teeth with my eyes closed hoping that when I open them it was all just a dream and that she won't be standing there. I open my eyes very slowly and close them fast shaking my head realizing this is not a dream but a real life nightmare.

"Spence honey?" I feel my mom's hand rubbing my back. I take in a sharp breath before I slowly open my eyes again. I look over to Ash who has a mixture of confusion and anger on her face I try to force a smile to relax her but I fail miserably.

"Spence are you ok." I face her and her false concern. Seriously why is she even here? "I hope you don't mind me coming but your mom told me when she left that she wanted us to see each other and maybe a friendly face would help you in this difficult time with the loss of your father…I'm sorry by the way." Oh that's what her sincere face looks like. I never saw it until now.

"Well I couldn't take off work any earlier than today. On the bright side at least we'll be able to spend New Year's Eve together." She beams. "Since it's tomorrow and all." She walks over to the couch eating the rest of Ash's and my popcorn.

"Mom she's the surprise you were talking about?' I finally find my voice to speak again. My mom gives me a proud smile as if she has done well.

"Yeah this is your Christmas gift I told you I was waiting to have it delivered." I smile weakly.

"Spence?" I look over to a still very angry and confused Ashley. "Can you show me were you returned my shirt you borrowed in my room because I can't find it?" I nod grateful for the lie to have a moment away from this overwhelming madness.

I excuse myself as Ash pulls me to the room she's been sleeping in. Crazy I never thought she would sleep here. It looks so unlike her with no colors on the walls. I don't know how she survived in here for the past five days. I honestly don't remember Ash ever stepping foot in this room let alone sleeping in it.

"Spence." I'm taken out my thoughts by Ash's voice that's full with wonder. "Who is that?" Her face seems a bit worried now.

I begin chewing on the tip of my thumb trying to figure out how to say this. I know Ash is not going to like it and I really don't want things to be any more tense between us.

"Spence?!" Okay, not answering the question is starting to be just as bad as answering it as I hear the irritation in her voice.

I try to make the girl's name come out of my mouth but it won't. I close my eyes and try to will myself but the thought of her name is tearing me apart.

"I thought I left her behind me." I mumble out shaking my head never once opening my eyes. Even though I'm not looking at Ashley I know her eyes are growing wide with confusion. I clear my throat."I can't believe I thought that if she wasn't in front of me the pain would go alway." I'm choking back tears."Now I know the pain was always here… just hidden." I feel a supportive hand on my shoulder and I grab it giving it a gentle squeeze. I open my eyes to be greeted by worried eyes and a weak smile.

"Spence babe, talk to me?" She pleads and it's nice to hear her call me babe. As I look at her I finally find the confidence I need.

"That's Debbie." I say in a shaky tone.

Ash steps back shaking her head as she clearly tries to choose her words carefully. "Debbie?" Her mouth drops in disbelief. "The Debbie who made your life hell and the reason you left Ohio?" She shouts in a harsh tone. I nod my head yes. "On one hand I owe her." She paces as I look at her with a shocked face. "Wait let me finish." She faces me holding her hand up. "I owe her because if she never ran you out here I never would have been able to catch you." She smirks.

"You smooth talker." I blush a little forgetting for a small moment about the mess in the living room.

"But on the other hand."She hurt you badly to the point that after all these years she still gets to you and I have a problem with that." Her face becomes angrier than before. "She's not staying here." She walks towards the door.

"Ash wait!" I call after her in a hush tone and she turn around to face me.

"What is there to wait for Spence?" I move both of my hands down signaling for her to keep her voice down.

"Baby I just need some time?" I grab her hand trying to plead with her. The look on her face is one I never seen before and it scares me.

"You can't be serious?" She raises a brow. "What do you need time for? What is there to think about?" I look down at my feet. "Oh so you'd rather let someone who made your life unbearable stay here than her telling your mother about us?" She points her finger between the both of us. "Spence it's been five days and you haven't even tried to hint about us. More importantly it's been three years." All the emotions are starting to consume me. I feel her yank her hand away and I look in the direction that her footsteps are heading to see her grab her keys and her purse.

"Where are you going?" I ask in a small voice and now it's her turn to look down before looking back up at me with sad eyes.

"I can't do this." I jump in front of the doorway blocking her path.

"Ash you can't leave me…I need you." I say all through tears and the last part in a whisper.

She cups my face."Prove it… tell your mother about us." Two long tears run down her cheeks as her lips quiver.

I let out a heavy sigh. "I will I just-"

"Need time" She finishes my sentence. She releases my face and pushes me to the side as she walks out the door. I hear the bedroom door close behind me then the front door. I stand there letting my tears hit the carpet.

"Spence honey, where is Ashley going? Spencer honey!? Spencer!?" I hear my mother voice echo through the room. I wipe my face and try not to sound shaky.

"I'll be out in a minute mom." I choke out.

"Okay." She says worry evident in her voice.

I wipe the tears from my face as I clear my throat before I walk out the room after some time. I scan the living room hoping that Ashley has come back, but instead I see Debbie grinning like a fool and my mother sporting a proud smile.

"Spence I know this is so overwhelming being reunited but I thought-"

"You thought the way to make up for leaving me with a stranger yesterday is to bring a different stranger today." I spat harshly.

My mother giggles in disbelief leaning her head back a bit. "I arranged for Debbie to come out here way before Christmas and she's not a stranger you've known her forever." She rubs my shoulder and I give a barely there smile.

Realizing I don't have the nerve to ask Debbie or my mother for that matter to leave I opt for us to watch 'Once Upon a Time' on the DVR. I wouldn't dare continue "The Walking Dead' without Ash. She would have a fit when she comes back, if she comes back. I feel my heart sink to my feet and I let out a heavy sigh.

"You ok honey?" My mother asks and I give a weak nod.

The show is ruined in a matter of minutes by Debbie telling us parts of the show before they come on. I bite my lip before turning the TV off.

"I don't understand why you want to watch this show anyway? It's just a bunch of restored fairlytales." She rolls her eyes.

"Haven't you already seen this episode meaning you watch the show?" I counter.

"I watch it when there's nothing else better to do. Ohio is boring you should know that, but this is Lala land let's have fun." She squeals.

I feel my nerves get to me as my hands begin to shake. I try to calm them by getting up and heading into the kitchen to wipe down the counters. I stare at the living room door looking for Ash as I wipe but she doesn't walk through. I miss her so much already. I feel a pang in my heart and I close my eyes from how unbearable the thought of losing her is tearing through me.

"I didn't come all the way from Ohio to sit in the living room watching some show I already seen." Debbie whines before throwing her head back letting out a groan. I continue whiping the counter. "Let's go out and do something." She says with excitement and my mom joins in and they start clapping their hands before high fiving each other.

I close my eyes trying to slow down my heart rate. This has to be another nightmare this can't be happening. I pinch myself and sadly this is very real. I let out another heavy sigh as I continue to wipe the already spotless countertops.

It's useless…no matter how much bleach I use it won't clean up the mess between Ashley and I or get rid of the mess in the living room.

* * *

**A/N: Poetry 'If You Forget Me' by Pablo Neruda. 'Taste' by Yours truly.**  
**Thank you so much for reading. Feed me so I can feed you...what are your thoughts?**

_I usually don't do FOF on my story, but I hey I'm in a mood so I'll go with it._

**Boobie:** LeoCheeks: Hmmm… long time no hear from ;). I always enjoy your long reviews of ranting. I feel like I can post again once your review is read :). There you go my confession. Now act like this is MIB and forget it. lol

**Yobeel:** First and Foremost I feel special that you signed up just to review my story (big goofy smile over here). Second... oh my what am I doing to you making you want Spashley to break up? Lol

**lawsbian: **The wait is over! Hope you enjoy.

**Amy- lee1234:** I am glad you finally decided to come over to the clever side ;). Amazing writer…me (points to self) Aww shucks… thank you.

**Melirufus_:_ **Thank you again for your praise, it means a lot.

**agatha022:** Don't give up on Spence yet... maybe she'll surprise you.

**DominoL: **I bet Ashley feels the same way ;). Your reviews always make me chuckle. Thanks for that.

**Sonfanatic: **I like your name first of all. Second I agree with those words and that is what I was going for. :)

**Annais81:** I always enjoy your reviews and now that they are getting so long there's more to love :). Thank you!

**FufuTheFallenAngel:** I'm happy to finally see you on my review board...hopefully you visit agin soon :).


	11. Ashley Possible

**A/N:** I know I been M.I.A and I apologize my loves. I really missed you all and beyond happy to finally get this out to you :). I hope this chapter makes up for the wait.

**Next chapter:** I am going to try my best to get the last few chapters out to you no longer than a week apart.

**Dear negative guest:** Thank you for your **negative comments** because with all art they'll will be people who don't like your work and people who do. I always wonder how I would feel to get such a bad review and honestly I feel fine. Thank you for reminded me how tough my skin is. Please remember there is a difference between constructive criticism and just nasty comments.

**To all my wonderful reviewers please read the FOF at the end of the chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

**Ashley Possible**

*Ashley*

I grip on to the steering wheel tighter as I grind my teeth. I let go of the steering wheel only to use my free hand to slam into it over and over again until it turns red. I ball up my throbbing hand and scream in frustration. My screams are shortly followed by tears that freely roll down my cheeks. I scream some more because I'm so sick of crying, hurting, and being tired. I put my forehead on the steering wheel and cry even harder.

I'm sitting in the parking lot in front of our apartment. I have been out here for quite some time. I haven't been able to leave, too stuck in my emotions. I'm surprised I've made it to the car with my shaky knees and teary eyes. I lean my head back running my fingers through my hair. I let out a heavy sigh and drop my hand behind my seat brushing my fingers across something in the process. I turn around and grab the strap I just touched and open the purse taking out the small box I couldn't allow the theft to take.

_2 years and six months earlier_

_I pull into the parking space and look over to Spencer who is trying to act like she doesn't see me._

_"What are you staring at Ashley Davies?" She questions still trying to avoid my gaze._

_"I am just admiring how lovely that shade of red looks on your cheeks." I smirk as she turns her head further towards the window while brushing a single strand of hair behind her ear._

_I feel my heart overflow with all the joy I have for the blonde sitting next me. After Spence said she'll be my girlfriend we walked along the cold sand letting the icy breeze brush against our skin before putting our feet in the freezing water. No matter how low the temperature was today, I felt warm with all the feelings she made me feel by just saying yes._

_"Are we going to sit in the parking lot all night or are we going to go inside to our bedroom?" I'm taken out my thoughts by her smooth voice._

_I turn my head lazily resting it on the side of my seat as I stare into blue eyes. I lift my hand to the back of her head gently pushing her forward towards my lips to give her forehead a soft kiss. When I lean back I see her eyes are still closed and I take this moment to give her a quick peck on the lips._

"_Thank you for finally acknowledging we sleep in the same bed." I smirk before rubbing the arm that she just smacked._

"_Shush you never sleep in the other room anyway." She points a finger while smiling._

"_Yeah but it's nice to not have to act like I'm going to the room then have to do something irresistible to make you call me back." I lean the seat back._

"_Is that what happens?"She arches a brow and I nod yes while sporting a wide smile. _

_I stretch my arm wide from my side for her to fall in it. She leans her seat back scooting her body into me and we lay there wrapped in each other's arms with our eyes closed breathing in each other's scent. _

_After our unexpected nap in the car we stroll up to our apartment swinging our hands, bumping shoulders, and stealing glances and kisses._

_"Oh my God! AAAh, AAAh, Ashley!" She's moving her feet waving her hands. Yeah my hand too since she's still holding mine._

_I place my free hand on her shoulder and look into her eyes and this calms her a little since her teeth are still shaking. "Spence what is wrong?"_

"_A roa, roa, roach!" She starts back stomping and weaving._

_I usually spray this 100% pure tea tree oil mix with water in front of the door every other week to keep the cockroaches away. It rained earlier today and they love water and I forgot to spray, so here we are. _

"_Spence it's just a roach." I walk towards it and she doesn't let go of my hand stretching her body the furthest away from her hand as it can go. "Babe you're being silly." I smile at her but she has broken out into a cold sweats. "They can't hurt you." I try to reason but she is not even looking in my direction instead she is facing the stairwell. "They can't bite; well they can pee on you, which feels like a bite but not an actual-"_

"_Ash! This is not the time for one of your fun facts." She turns around and faces me but turns away just as fast._

_"Look it's nothing." I say lifting up my Coach shoes stepping on both creatures. "See all gone." I give a proud smile._

_"I think I'm going to be sick." She faces me again holding her free hand to her mouth and finally releasing my hand running past me unlocking and opening the front door._

_I shake my head and go to follow her in the apartment but am cut off by Spence's open palm to my chest._

"_What's the issue babe?" I question with a quirked brow and nervous smile._

"_You are not coming into this house with roach guts on the bottom of your shoe." She shivers._

_"Oh that." I scoff while rubbing the bottom of my shoe in the small puddle of water by the door. "See all clean." I beam at her brightly._

_"Ewww baby please." She pouts and I peck her lips quickly._

_"Alright." I take off my shoes leaving them by the door and walk into the house. I go over to my spray bottle mixture in the kitchen grabbing it with some Clorox bleach wipes for the bottom of my shoe. "My shoes better not be missing woman." I place my hand on my hip trying to look threatening._

_Once I'm done cleaning up everything, spraying, then washing my hands I go flop on the couch next to my girlfriend. I smile hard thinking about how good the title sounds rolling off my tongue. She scoots next to me and gives me a bright smile before kissing me soft and sweet._

_We break the kiss and stare into each other's eyes. "Ashley Davies… my hero." I grab her hand kissing it all the way up her arm and down again Gomez style._

"_Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me." She tries to stifles her laugh but fails miserably. She pushes my shoulder._

_"Oh so you're Kim Possible now?"_

_"I think I can pull off the black crop top with green cargo pants." I point to my body for emphasis and she licks her lips in approval. "However, since pagers are dead and gone and sadly so are good ole phone calls. My theme song would have to be text me, tweet me, if you wanna reach me." She burst into laughter and I join in._

"_You're such a dork."_

"_I'm adorkable." She rolls her eyes. "And you."I tap the tip of her nose with my finger."Love every bit of it." I rub my nose against hers before giving her a quick peck on the lips._

_I lean into her deepening the kiss as she lets her body fall into the couch. I begin straddling her as she pulls my bottom lip holding it between her teeth before letting me have it again and I do the same to hers. We as of our lips touch._

_"Wait, Wait." I hear Spence mumble into my lips. I lift up giving her a concerned look. She lifts up on one of her arms with the other one crossed over it. She looks deep into my eyes before speaking in a hush tone. "Ashley if you're Kim does that make me Ron." My eyes widen as I lean my head back._

"_Ugh! And I'm the dork?" I lean forward just in time to watch her burst into laugher. I take the couch pillow and begin smothering her with it as I faintly hear. 'I can't breathe.'_

_After our wonderful day together we went to sleep in our room without her fussing. I smile at thought as I turn on my side to watch her sleep. I let out a sigh of pure bliss while brushing a strain of hair behind her ear. I take my bottom lip in-between my teeth before getting up slowly from the bed._

_I tip toe from the bedroom to the living room trying not to wake up Spence. It's eleven o'clock out here, but it's only eight in Ohio. I open the laptop and after it loads I click the name I want on Skype._

_"Hello Ashley." He coughs_

_"Hey sir." I smile brightly at him. _

_I'm so happy he knows who I am and didn't look at me like 'who is this weirdo on my daughter's laptop.' I never officially met Spencer's dad. I know she has told him about me and must have described me to him to know who I am or it could be because I called him from his daughter laptop at eight o'clock at night. Ok anyway it's time to get back to business. I shake off my nerves and wipe my hands on my pants._

"_What do I owe the pleasure?" He coughs even harder this time. _

_My smile fades and is replaced with worry. "Are you ok sir?"_

"_You can call me Arthur."He smiles before coughing some more. He holds up his finger to indicate one minute. He sits back in his seat and takes a sip of the water he went to get. "Sorry about that." _

"_Are you sure you're ok?" I ask again with more worry in my face. I bite the corner on my bottom lip._

"_See that look on your face is the reason I don't want to tell." His hand starts to shake making his water spill a little and he tries to place the water on the table. His hand begins to shake fiercely and he ends up spilling it. _

"_Shit!" He jumps up yelling in frustration._

_He begins breathing hard trying to hold back tears of stress. He walks away coming back a few minutes later with a few paper towels to clean up the spilled water. He sits back at the laptop wiping away his tears before giving me a weak smile._

" _I'm sorry about that." He says in a shaky voice._

_I clear my throat and sit up straight in my chair."Look sir-"He narrows his eyes at me. "Mr. Carl-" He raises his brow. "Arthur." He gives a bright smile which I gladly return. I inhale then exhale. "I know we don't really know each other but I've been told I'm a great listener and if you want to tell me what's wrong I won't judge." I finally breathe._

_He's face becomes sad as he looks down. He looks back at me with blue eyes filled with sadness. "Ashley are you sure you want to know? Because if I tell you, you can't tell Spencer." He lets out a heavy sigh. "I want this news to come from me." He whispers._

_I swallow the lump in my throat knowing this must be some heavy news because Spence and her dad don't keep too much from each other…Spence and her mom yes, but not her and her dad._

"_I'm sure." I nod my head. _

"_Ashley I have cancer." He rushes out as if he has been holding that in forever. My eyes widen I wasn't expecting the news to be this big. "I have had it for a while and I'm not sure how much time I have." _

"_Oh my God, Spence." I breathe out._

_"You can't tell her." He half way shouts cut off by a cough._

_"I won't, I won't." I put both hands up. "Please just calm down." I put them down._

_"Sorry." He says embarrassed. He rubs the back of his neck."The chemotherapy makes my nerves bad and it's hard for me to pick up things. Getting use to the change is a bit nerve wracking." I nod in understanding._

"_It's ok." I smile softly, __a gesture__which he returns. We stay silent looking around the room in our individual houses then back at each other awkwardly._

"_I'm sorry Ashley for making this about me." I go to open my mouth to say it's 'ok' but he continues before I get a chance too. "You must have had something to tell me and that's why you called." I start nibbling the bottom of my lip._

_I clear my throat and get comfortable in the chair while tugging at the bottom of my white beater."Well si- Arthur." I breathe out rubbing the back of my neck. "Spence and I are"_

_"More than friends." He finishes my sentence and I can breathe again._

"_Yes." I smile nervously. "Did she tell you?" He shakes his head 'no' with a wide smile across his face. I feel relieved when I see the wide smile that spreads across his face. "You're not mad?" I ask wringing my fingers._

"_Of course not." He chuckles then coughs."When Spence mentioned you as her roommate." He does air quotes."The look in her eyes told me the truth."_

"_Was this call for my approval? Because I approve of anyone who makes my waffle's eyes light up the way you do." He smiles and I do the same. "Just protect my little girl's heart."_

"_I will always protect your daughter's heart, body and soul." He nods in approval._

_End of flash back__  
_  
I let out a sigh putting the object back into my purse.I don't know how I got to my front door. I take a sharp breath and wipe my hands on my Nike sweat pants. I open the door and see Spence's face filled with appreciation. Oh yeah that's why I'm here. She walks over to me hugging my neck but my hands are stuck by my side.

"My hero." She pulls back looking at me with teary eyes.

"Text me, tweet me, if you wanna to reach me." I give a weak smile.

I look at the three blondes staring at me with different expression. I point in the direction of my room and head there.

I take an ice cold shower trying to cool my nerves down. I feel comfort when the icy water falls against my hot skin. Once I'm out I change into something simple. A sleeveless Prada zebra shirt with ruffles on the bottom with navy blue fitted D&G pants with Betsey Johnson six inch red pumps and matching red lip stick . I pin my hair up in a 1940's hair style with two large curls that meet in the middle forming a heart with French roll in the back. I wrap a red Coach scarf around the French roll.

I walk out of the room catching Spence eyeing me and I smirk before I notice Debbie eyeing me too. I look at her stank and she quickly turns around. I walk past the three blondes grabbing my keys out my purse.

"Would you ladies like to go have some fun?" I say turning around to them not facing any of them in particular.

"She is much better at showing a girl a good time." Debbie throws one fist in the air sticking her tongue out and I want to throw my keys at her face. I give a small smile and begin to walk out the door and the three blondes follow suit.

We make it to Long beach in no time. Everyone has step out the car a while ago and I am trying to catch my breath. I have been trying to catch it the whole drive here. I finally step out the car and make my way over to the three blondes.

"What is this place?" Debbie asks wide eyed staring at all the lights lighting up the stores, and restaurants. Not to mention the giant glowing Ferris wheel and boats along the peer.

"This is the Pike aka Rainbow Harbor." She quirks a brow and I just smirk.

"Where are we going first?" She asks as we take a step out of the parking lot.

I turn to her biting the inside of my lip trying to hold my tongue."Well if you continue to follow me out the lot…you'll see."

"Boring." She says in a singing tone rolling her eyes, crossing her arms, and then taps her foot.

Seriously, how old is she? Two? I roll my eyes and continue to lead the way.

"We're here!" I toss my hand above my head. "whooo!" I wave my arms as I step in the store.

"Seriously a book store?" Debbie smacks her lips.

"Ignorance might be bliss but knowledge is power." I smirk waking further into the book store.

I spin around looking at the wall to wall books for a dollar in the two story store. They have cookbooks, business books, children books, horror, romance, etc. It's every bookworm's dream.

"So you are telling me everything in this store is a dollar?" Clapping my hands in excitement I ask the salesman who has the driest look on his face.

"Yes ma." He says in an even dryer tone sounding like the 'dry red eyes guy' from the eye wash commercials.

I bite my bottom lip before rushing over to the poetry section grabbing Poe, Shakespeare, Lock, Walker, Pac, and many more. I have all of these on my Kindle, but nothing beats snuggling up to a good book before falling asleep with it on your chest.

The mother and daughter blonde have found some psychology books that they have taken a liking to but ole sour puss Debbie is standing in the same spot she started by the door, arms crossed, rolling her eyes. I shake my head at the sad sight of bad parenting because clearly this chick didn't get enough ass whooping growing up. well I can change-

"Ashley.' I'm taken out my thoughts by Paula.

I turn around rolling my eyes before facing her. "Yes."

"I'm surprise you would shop at a place like this." I arch a brow for her to continue. "I mean the clothed and shoes you were are expensive-"

"I believe in the finer things and that being said not all fine things are expensive." She nods in understanding.

We walk over to the cashiers and make our purchase, well everyone except Debbie, then we walk out. I volunteer to put all the bags in the car not trusting Paula to do it after last time then head back to the group for our second part of the day.

We walk inside the two large glass doors where we see wall to wall lights from the video games, glow in the dark bowling lanes upstares with bar and restaurant. I love KDB.

"Now this is more like it." Debbie smirks as she lets her eyes take a tour of the place. I go over to the front desk handing the attendant two hundred dollars for four cards with forty nine dollars deducting the one dollar new card fee on each.

I sit at the bar as the blondes scurry to play a few games. I order my favorite…a Midori Sour. I enjoy the mix of sweet cotton candy, sour apple, with a hint of Sprite playing on my tongue.

I continue sucking air threw my strew seeing as my drink is all gone. I place one finger up signaling for another as I take my cherry out rolling it on my tongue before sucking it.

The bartender places my drink in front of me before leaning on the counter as she watches me continue to suck the cherry. I quirk a brow at her before biting my cherry.

"Do you always watch your customers?"

"Only when they're are as sexy as you."She smirks sporting her dimples that are pierced. I shake my head and start to drink.

She flips her blonde curly hair that falls to the side of her shoulder as she tilts her head." Why is someone as beautiful as you alone at a bar?" I smirk.

"Ashley." As if right on cue Spence comes up to me with a worried look which gets worse as she looks between me and the woman. "Are you going to come play some games with us?" She gives me a pleading smile I don't know if that's for the games or getting away from the bartender who hasn't averted her glaze even with Spence standing here.

I continue to sip.

"Ashley." She gently runs her fingers across my arm. I look at her action then up into her sad blue eyes. "Please?" She gives a weak smile and I soften a little.

I sip some more. "Let me finish my drink and I'll be there." She nods and stares at the bartender who's smirking at me.

Once I'm finish I let out a heavy sigh before walking towards the blondes.

"No Deal, Oh God!" I nibble my thumb nervously as I wait for Spence to push the white button.

Spence seems nervous because of me and the two unwanted guests yelling at her from different directions. She's on the stool and we're all around her closing her in.

I lick my lips slowly leaning in closer to the game as she pick case number three.

"Ugh!" I clenched my fist at the one hundred ticket case no longer in play. "It's ok; we still have the two hundred and four hundred case." I start clapping my hands."Let's go!"All three blondes look at me."Omg Spence! Pick a case." She turns around back to the game startled at my outburst. But come on, you only get ten seconds before the game choices for you. No time to keep calm.

We all let out sighs of relief when she picks the one dollar case.

I can't breathe. Really, I have stop breathing as I stare at the screen with two cases in play…Spence and the show girl. Only numbers on the board is five and four hundred tickets. Spence turned down the two hundred ticket deal. Boy would it suck if she has only five tickets in her case.

"Aaaaaah!" I jump up with a fist pump."You won!"

I grab both her hands in mine pulling her off the stool and we jump up and down as we face each other. I remember I'm mad at her and clear my throat removing my hands from hers. I rub my hands on my pants smoothing out no wrinkles in the process.

"Spencer honey." Paula waves her daughter over to the pinball machine. Spence gives a small smile and turns to walk towards her mother and an annoyed looking Debbie. I go to follow but am stop by a familiar voice.

"Hey sexy" I turn around to her bright blue eyes.

"Are you stalking me?" I say to the flirty bartender from earlier.

She slides her tongue from the corner of her mouth to the bottom of her lip to the next corner. She looks me up and down and smirks.

"Mmmm… I might consider being your stalker." I lean back to giggle before feeling Spencer eyes burning into my back. I clear my throat. "I actually came over here to bring you your drink."

"I didn't order another drink." I quirk a brow at her.

"This is on the house." She leans in closer. "Since you looked so good drinking it earlier." She hands me the Midori Sour on a napkin. She flips her luscious hair before swaying her hips as she walks away.

I go to sip my drink noticing the napkin has writing on it. I go to read it 'Call me maybe. Kelly.' I smile shaking my head at the new blonde.

"What was that all about?" Spence questions as I walk over to her and I shrug my shoulders placing the napkin into my pocket.

"What game do you want to play next?" I sip my drink.

We decide to play air hockey…wrong move because I am a beast at this game. We found an awesome four player table that shoots four pucks at a time. Spence and I are on teams against Debbie and Paula. This game is making me feel something I haven't felt in the last five days…joy.

"Aahh!" I scream turning to the side as I block the puck.

Debbie shoots a puck and I slide across the left side bumping into Spence in the process hitting the puck hard. Paula blocks it and hits all weak making it get stuck in the middle of the table and none of us can reach it. Ugh! I hate when it does that. I dive on the table stomach first with my legs in the air as I shoot the puck back to them scoring in the process.

"Is it that serious?" Debbie mumbles out the side of her mouth.

"Hell yeah." I weave both hands in the air.

I step back position myself placing one foot back from the table and the other one behind me to hold my balance. I slide the tip of my tongue across my top lip and I swear I seen Debbie smirk…eww.

I am ready for the next hit. The game is tied six to six just one more point for either team to win and I want this. This win is more than a game it's the win of this whole fucked up situation. Debbie shoots and I swing my arm knocking the puck and losing my grip on my shooter. They both fly full force the puck hitting Debbie while the shooter hits Paula in the face. I bite hard on my lip trying to hold back a laugh while Spence places both hands over her mouth in shock.

Paula and Debbie end up winning the game but after hitting two blondes with one shot I couldn't care less.

Were now sitting at the karaoke section of KDB by the bowling alley waiting for my name to be called, in an awkward silence I might add. I guess after air hockey everyone thought that was enough games for tonight. None of them really wanted to sign up to sing or be here, but I'm going to do what I want to do.

"Ashley Davies." The host calls and when I stand up she smirks at me. I take the mic and smirk back. I cover the mic and lean close to her and whisper.

"You're sure you're not stalking me?" I raise a brow.

"No, I am just a woman of many talents so I work all areas." She licks her lips. "But stalking isn't so bad because at least I know your name now." I bite my bottom lip and she turns around and blushes.

I turn back to the audience which included Debbie sporting the same annoyed face she's been wearing all day, Paula still trying to read me, and Spence looking pissed. I clear my throat and place the mic to my lips letting the melody do its thing as I sway to the music. I can't sing so I picked a fun funny song.

**I took her out it was a Friday night**

**I wore cologne to get the feeling right**

**We started making out and she took of my pants.**

I rub my hands down my pants.

**But then I turn the TV. That's about she walked from me. **

I lean the Mic down as I lean into it and all the drunks cheer.

**Then later on, on** **the way home I called her mom from the payphone **

**Said I was the cops and your husband's in jail the state looks down on sodomy. That's about the time that bitch… **

I stare right at Paula.

**Hung up on me. **

I start whipping my my song none of the blondes would look at me and that is more than fine with me. Paula has a disgusted look on her face. Debbie's face hasn't changed and Spence's face is a mixture of hurt and anger. We're at the ticket counter adding Spence's winning tickets to her game card.

"I'll pull the car up front." I say to no one in particular but everyone at the same time. They all ignore me and I go retrieve the car.

The three blondes walk to the car with Debbie holding an X-box.

"Ummm where did you get that from?" I narrow my eyes at Debbie in the rear view mirror when she gets in.

"I got it from the game attendennt." She rolls her eyes.

"But you didn't play any games where you could win tickets and even if you did you would had to redeem five thousand to win that."

"Seven thousand." She corrects and I want to slap the shit out of her. "Spencer let me use her tickets." I look at Spence who looks out the window trying to avoid my stare.

That's not like Spence. She has been saving her tickets since…

_2 years earlier_

"_What are we doing here?" She gives me a wide grin as she looks at all the lights from the games in the room._

_"Well since you put up with me and all my shopping today I thought a few games would ease your nerves." I smirk at her and she caresses my cheek with the back of her finger. I take her hand turning it over to kiss the inside of her palm._

_I pull her towards me turning her around placing my front to her back as I hold her by the waist. I kiss up her neck stopping at her earlobe before sliding it in my mouth with my tongue. She moans at the contact._

_I place my chin on her shoulder. "So what games do you want to play?" I can hear her lips part into a smile._

"_You are such a tease Ms. Davies." I slide my hand to her second pair a lips and cup it. She inhales and tenses a little. I whisper closer to her ear.  
_

"_I'll please you later Mrs. Davies." She melts into my hand and I can feel her wetness._

_We spend the rest of our night playing 'House of the Dead,' The Simpson game, Pac- Man, pin ball, air hockey, and then a lot of games to win tickets._

_"How many tickets did you win?" I ask her as she adds them on her game card._

"_I won a two thousand tickets baby." She pecks my lips._

_"That's what five hours and three hounded dollars will get you." I smirk. "But the smile on your face… priceless." She walks up to me places both hands on both sides of my face taking my bottom lip into her mouth and begins sucking on it._

_I place my hand between us before sliding it into her pants and panties. I feel her get wet with every stroke of my finger tips and the feeling makes me forget about everyone around us. I feel comfortable doing this since it's only twenty one and older here. I only hold off on the PDA in front of kids and old folks…poet's code and all. _

_She moans against my lips making everything in me buzz. I reach up to the top of her back with my other hand before scratching down it. She grinds into my fingers and I rub harder. She breaks the kiss and I whimper never moving my hand or stopping my motion .She gives me a few quick pecks. _

"_Let's get out of here." She smirks removing my hand to suck the juices off my fingers one by one and I feel my whole body shiver on the inside._

_She intertwines her fingers with mine and turns to guide me out the door._

_"Wait I pull her back." She stops looking at me to continue._

"_You didn't cash in your tickets." She smiles looking at her shoe as she swings our hands._

_"I know." She looks back at me. "I want to save them. It's like saving the memory until I want to spend them on something special." She shrugs and_ I kiss her.

_End of flash back_

"Can we go?" Debbie spits out.

I shake my head before setting the car in drive and heading to the house.

We're back at the house getting ready for bed. Paula is taking a shower and Debbie is looking through her bag for PJs.

"I can't find anything. Where's your room?" Spence points to the room we once shared.

Debbie comes out with one of Clay's old shirts that he gave Spence when he went to College so she wouldn't miss him so much. This is Spence's favorite sleep shirt and I know Debbie knows this since she was around during that time. Debbie walks in the bathroom as Paula walks out.

"Hey, isn't that Clay's old Shirt?" Paula asks Spence and I put my hands on my hips waiting for Spence to answer.

"Yes, it's fine." She says trying to wave it off but her face is saying something else.

"Ok, I'll see you in bed." Paula says doubtful as walks to the room.

Wait… did she just say I'll see you in the bed? I cross my arms and look at Spence who must have read my thoughts.

"Yeah…" She giggles nervously. "Is it okay if Debbie takes your room?" She nibbles her bottom lip.

"Excuse me?' I narrow my eyes at her. "I thought we would share a room and blonde one and blonde two would share the other."

"Debbie likes to sleep alone and I know you don't want to sleep in a room with me and my mother." She says nervously locking her fingers together.

"Oh it's about what Debbie wants?!" I shout and she tries to shush me. "Don't shush me?" I walk around the couch. "Where am I supposed to sleep?" She eyes the couch and I shake my head.

I flop down on it raising my hand as soon as she opens her mouth not wanting to hear what else she has to say. She goes in the room as we both wait for our turn to shower.

Ugh! I slap my palm against my forehead. I did not think of this when I decided to come back. I lie back on the couch releasing a sharp breath. I put my hand in my pocket feeling the napkin and I take it out. I stare at the number for a while before deciding to store it in my phone. I sigh again putting the napkin back where I retrieved it.

After Debbie exits the bathroom I pass her to take my shower. It's eleven o'clock at night and I can't sleep but everyone else can. I grab my phone off the table lying on my side deciding to send a text message.

_Hey this is Ash ;) _

_Second set of blues: Got you lock and loaded…sexy ;) _I shake my head at how cheesy that was.

_What are you doing up?_

_Second set of blues: Waiting for you to text me (bites lips)._

I shake my head. I usually don't text anyone for the first time meeting them this late, but I know KDB doesn't close until two so I figure she'd still be at work. What am I saying? I haven't texted another girl who wasn't Spence or Chelse for the last three years.

I let out a sigh. What am I doing?

Kelly and Spence look very different but her blonde hair and blue eyes makes me feel comfortable around her. Things between Spence and I are so messed up and being around Kelly is just…easy. I bite my lip. I can't do this. Because little things like this lead into big things and I don't want those things.

"Hey?" I jump up startled by Spence as she sits next to me and I sit up. "I know we're not really on speaking terms but-"She nibbles her lip.

I slide my phone in my pocket looking guilty as hell and she looks at me with worried eyes. I place my hand to the back of my neck and rub it.

"Sooo?" I give a small smile.

"I wanted to thank you for coming back." She looks at her hands.

"I already broke a promise to myself I didn't want to break one to your dad too."

"Wait my dad, when did you talk to my dad?" She asks confused.

Oh crap. I close my eyes trying to think of how I'm going to tell her. I been keeping this from her for two years and six months. I bite my lip.

"The night we made it official I used your laptop to tell your dad how I would always take care of you." I smiled at the simpler times.

"Why couldn't you just tell me that Ash?"She asks harshly.

"Well that night when I talked to him he confided in me."

"Confided in you about what?!" She stands up.

"About him being sick." I say softly and her face drops. "I knew if I said anything about that night I would tell you about his illness, so I said nothing." I breathe out.

"How could you keep this from me?" She shakes her head as the tears run down her cheeks. All this time you knew?" Her voice fails her.

"You're one to talk about keeping her secrets!" Her mouth drops and I close my eyes taking in a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you but he kept saying he wanted to tell you himself." I hold my breath

"Kept saying? You talked to him more than once?" Her voice cracks even more.

"Once a week." I give a small smile and she shakes her head in disbelief. "He hadn't told anyone yet, so I wanted to be there for him."

"I'm his daughter. I'm supposed to be there for him." She spits."Beside you knew how bad I felt about never telling him about you and all this time he knew?" Now it's my turn to stand up.

"It's not my fault you kept me a secret until it was too late." I say harshly. She shakes her head.

"You always going on about how you feel sad you never met him when you actually have." I bite my lip in frustration.

"Yeah, I feel sad I never got to meet the man you talked about…bright eye and bushy tailed." I shake my head. The man I met was in a lot of pain and a shell of the one you spoke about." Tears are falling fiercely down both our cheeks.

"I can't." She shakes her head holding up her hands before storming away slamming the door behind her.

I bang on the bedroom door. "Spence you can't just walk away from me, we need to talk about this!" she opens the door.

"Ash you're going to wake up my mom."

"I don't give a damn." I spit.

"What's going on?" Paula sits up.

"Nothing. Go back to bed." Spence says softly before turning back to me with pleading eyes.

I groan in frustration throwing my hands up before turning around back to the couch. I lie back down grabbing the pillow placing it over my face before screaming into it. I put it back behind my head and slam back into it over and over again until I hear the beeping noise from my phone alerting me that I have a text message. I grab it off the table and open the screen to read it.

_Second set of blues: Damn did you fall asleep on me sexy? Mmmm I hope you dream about me…wet dreams maybe? Because I'm wide awake and wet for you. _I smirk at the text and put the phone back on the table.

Easy…

I close my eyes letting sleep have its way with me.

* * *

**A/N:** Please enlighten me with your thoughts and feelings towards this chapter? All thoughts are welcome.

**FOF**

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy: Awe, didn't mean to upset you but I am thrilled you're so invested. I agree with you about Spence but disagree about Ashley. I feel Ashley's too understands. Thank you so much my friend for taking the time to catch up with my story. I always love hearing from you.

Boobie: Your reviews are always the highlight of my day. I can just hear your voice while reading them. Btw, I love how dramatic you are. Lol

TheDWall: Welcome to the party I hope you stick around:).

Son-Lyn: Awe, thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Lawbian: I try to finish this story without anymore cliffhanger…try;).

Annais81: First and foremost I love your hair and profile pic. Second you are not alone because a lot of people are feeling odd not being on Spence side. Hahahaha "do some magic shit." That was great.

BeautyLikeFrozenCathedrals21: Maybe…

IhEartSpAsHlEy: I do better giving demands than taking them but since you said please…I'll think about it;).

FufuTheFallenAngel: I agree. You're welcome and I'm glad you're here.

gina32: Yay! Welcome aboard :).

razmataz13drums: You freaking rock! Seriously your review had me dying. Thank you so much for reviewing I always enjoy them.

Melirufus: Here's your update. I read your latest review and laughed.

DominoL: A cnder block?! OMG you are crazy and I love it! lol

Maddy22: Funny clean house. Isn't that what Spence does all day every day? But seriously I agree.


	12. My Girl got a Girlfriend

**A/N :** Ok, I know your emails are going wacky and I'm sorry for that. I fix the issue and they'll be no more false updates.

**Shout out to my Beta: I want to thank you for all your hard work and tips because this story wouldn't read as well as it does without you. You been here since day one and me and my story will miss you. You were awesome...here's looking at you kid ;)  
**

**New Beta: Sadly I am going to need a new Beta for the last few chapter so if there's any takes please PM me.**

I want to thank all **my wonderful reviews** for hanging in there with me and are girls who love to upset you;). You gals and guys are the reason I keep writing. You are not fan you are supports and I thank you for that. I take your thoughts seriously and they even help me with dialoguing sometimes. **Thanks for being awesome!** I am **so glad you all enjoy the flashback** and I love writing them as long as they have a purpose which all of you have seen said purpose of giving information and showing who Spence and Ashley were before all this.

Well this chapter does not have any flashback; however it is still very informative.

Please read **FOF below**.

Enjoy!

* * *

How I Met Her Mother

**My Girl got a Girlfriend**

*Ashley*

I remember hearing the saying 'The writings are on the wall' and never paying it much mind…until now. I come to realize what that saying really means, that we look for the answers everywhere else but where it is…in front of us. I sit my pen on my pad exhaling deeply as I look around the room.

I don't know how I got here. I been staring at this wall in hopes that maybe the writings are really there. Maybe the longer I stare the more likely the words would appear of what I should do about my relationship but no luck so far. I'm not going to find my answers outside of Spence and I, so why am I here? I roll my eyes as she takes me out my thoughts by blocking my view and finally approaches me. She places her hand faintly on my wrist before pulling it back after seeing the look on my face. She shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and then sucks her teeth.

"It's clear you don't want to be bothered, so why don't you just go home?"

I avert my eyes and stare at my hands. "It's not that." I let out a heavy sigh. "I just know that no matter how bad things are at home I should be there and not here." I look up to catch her soften a little before cautiously taking a seat next to me.

We sit in silence as she dusts off the invisible dirt from her pants. She clears her throat and rubs behind her neck.

I shake my head before standing up to turn around and leave. I am stopped by her hand on my arm. I look at the gesture before cutting my eyes at her. She quickly removes her hand.

"Sorry." She removes her hair tie from around her wrist using it to put her blonde hair up into a ponytail. "I'm just saying you came here for a reason, so why leave before that reason is met?"

"I shouldn't be here." I sit back down laying my head against my folded arms.

"But you are sooooo?"

"Seriously, what are we doing?" I jump up." I don't like you and you don't like me." I fold my arms across my chest.

"Sometimes the very person you don't like is the same person you need." She gives a weak smile. "I like you Ashley."

I look at her blonde hair and roll my eyes. "Why did you dye your hair blonde anyway?"

She smirks."I wanted to try something new. What, you don't like it?"

"Frankly, I don't." I scoff. "Did you think dying your hair would make you look more like Spencer and I would end up fucking you again?

"Ok." She jumps up shaking her head while waving her hands."I don't have to take this. Why are you here if you don't want to be?"

"Well you're not who I want, but since I can't have who I want I'm stuck with you." I spit.

"Girl, bye" She turns to walk away.

"Wait." I soften and she turns around expectantly.

"Ugh! Where is Chelse when I need her?" I huff sitting back on the stool.

Madison takes her seat next to me. "Chelse is with her mother as you kn-"

"I know but I don't like it." I cut her off.

"So how much longer?"

"How much longer for what?" I roll my eyes.

"Are you going to act funky with me before telling me what's wrong? I may not be Chelse or Spencer." She pauses and I wiggle in the seat suddenly uncomfortable by the mention of my girlfriend's name. "But I'm all you got."

"Fine." I say defeated. "I said I was going to start being nice to you and I want to, but old habits die hard."

"Mhm."

"I honestly didn't know you were going to be here. I never get into it with Spence and lately whenever I do I end up here, so here I am."

"Makes sense."

"Why are you here?" I raise a brow.

"Well this is the only lesbian café in WeHo and I like the vibe… plus it helps that I get free drinks whenever I come." As if on cue a server brings her an iced coffee.

"I am going to have to talk to my employees about that." I say jokingly and we both laugh.

She sips her drink and waits for me to express what I've been holding in.

"She asked him why he went into the guy's house and he said because she asked him to." I shake my head."

Madison stops sipping her drink. "She asked who?"

"Knowing it was wrong, knowing he could have gone to jail. But he did it because she asked."

"Whoa, whoa, who's going to jail?'

"See, blondes will always get you into trouble. Honestly, I liked her better as a brunette."

Madison squint hers eyes in confusion."Wait Spence was a brunette?" She leaves her mouth agape.

" Spence? What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?" She rolls her neck.

"Edward Scissorhands" I whine.

"The movie?" She stretches out the question.

"Yes. That movie was so sad. She didn't tell him she loved him until they couldn't have each other. Why?!" I lift my fist to the sky and shake it.

"Girl I thought Spence got some poor guy arrested over ya L word drama." She rolls her eyes.

"Oh there goes the old Madison…I knew she was in there somewhere." I smack my teeth.

She shrugs."Old habits die hard." She says unsure. "Anyway what made you bring that movie up?"

"It came on four o'clock this morning."

"Dang girl, why were you up so late?"

"Just thinking" I look down at my fingers.

"Does Spencer even know that you're here?" I look up at her before shaking my head no.

"When I left this morning everyone was still asleep. I got up took a shower, threw on my little black Prada dress, pulled my hair into a tight bun, and slid into my red Prada pumps then was onautopilot until I ended up here.

"This morning? Girl how long have you been staring at this wall? I shrug and she looks at the time on her phone. "It's one o'clock!"

"Oh my God really? I wonder why Spence hasn't text me. I guess she's really is mad. "Madison, it's just Spence and I have always been so relaxed in our relationship and now it's like were on a rollercoaster. As soon as things start to feel settled a ball of stress comes flying at my face. It's like I never have a moment to catch my breath." I exhale.

"Girl you should be used to it by now." I cross my arms and raise a brow. "Wait before you get an attitude." She rolls her neck and eyes while rotating her finger. "I'm only saying that this is LA and you only have a moment to catch your breath before you have to go back into the madness."

"Not even LA could prepare me for this." I bite my lip nervously.

We sit in silence until I feel my phone buzz on my lap that's inside my purse. I take it out to look at it. I smile, text back, and sit it on the table. Madison glance at the name on the phone then glances back at me.

"Does Spencer know you're fucking this girl?"

"What?!" I shout in shock. "I'm no-, I would neve-, What the fuck!"

"I'm just saying?"

"You're just saying what? Because saying I'm just saying is not explaining anything and I am going to need you to explain this." I point my finger down.

"You over here smiling and texting some girl who's not Spencer and feeling good about it, so your virtually fucking her."

I tilt my head before shaking it. "That makes no sense."

"Let me ask you this. The whole time you been with Spencer until now have you held a conversation with another woman that wasn't business related?" She raises her brow.

I drop my shoulders. "No." I say softly.

"I don't know the whole story because this is the first time me and you actually spoken without flinging insult." She shrugs. "But I know since you and Spencer got together you have been the happiest I have ever seen you."

"Yeah." I say softly with a softer smile remembering the feeling.

"Remember what Kat from Grey use to say." I encourage her to continue. "Eventually love trumps fear. Every time"

I smile and nod in agreement."You're just full of good advice today huh?"

"Well consider me slowly making up for all the bad things I've said. Ash I'm really sorry for who I was back then."

"Don't worry about it, if you were never her you wouldn't be you now and the recent you is growing on me."

My phone buzzes again.

_Spence Kitten: Hey…where are you?_

I stopped by the café heading back now.

Spence Kitten: Okay :)

"I got to go." I hold up the phone for emphasis. She nods in understanding. I get up and start walking towards the door. I stop and turn to face her."Thank you." She gives me a small smile and I continue walking to my car.

I used to sing on the way home. Now I cry. I used to skip every other step rushing to the door to see her face. Now I drag my feet up each and every one. I used to put the wrong key into the keyhole at least three times from all the excitement. Now I get the key right every time.

I pull into the parking space and sigh before getting out. I make my way up the stairs and go to put my key in, but I jump back when the door flings open.

"Oh my God!" I try to catch my breath while holding my chest.

"I'm sorry Ashley I didn't see you there." The older blonde gives a faint smile. She closes the door and sidesteps me before leaving.

Wow did she really close the door like I wasn't coming in? I shake it off and go to turn the knob but it flies open before I can do so.

*Spence*

"What the f- freak." She corrects herself when she sees the look on my face.

"I'm sorry babe." I give a sweet smile. "I thought I heard your voice so I came to see if it was really you. And it is." Giving her wide smile while leaning against the door, she walks inside.

Ash makes her way to the couch and has a seat. I close the door and do the same thinking twice before finally taking the seat next to her.

She clears her throat looking around at everything and nothing all at the same time.

I place my hand on her arm a gesture that used to comfort her like honey sweetening tea. Now I'm not sure if it even makes her feel… let alone good. She looks at me softly and I give her an appreciative smile.

"Spence I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your dad being sick." She takes a deep breath."Believe me there wasn't a day that went by that it didn't eat me alive because I couldn't. There were nights I lie awake because not telling you wouldn't let me sleep." I wipe the tears that are falling freely from her eyes. "I should have told you when he passed, but I knew it would hurt you and it was selfish of me to keep it hidden to avoid your anger. I promise you I never kept anything else from you and I never will again. I don't know if it helps but he knew about us and was happy for us."

I take her hand and kiss it softly. "I'm sorry for getting so upset at you last night I just felt so betrayed." She looks down at her shoes. "By him." She looks back up at me. "I've always been so close to my dad and trusted him, so I was hurt he didn't trust me enough to tell me." Now she's the one to wipe away my tears.

"It's ok Spence. I know he loved you and maybe that's why he couldn't bring himself to hurt you. He knew that kind of information would do just that."

"I guess I can't be mad at him keeping something so sad from me when I didn't trust him enough to tell him about the happiest thing in my life…You." I lick my lips. "I won't make that mistake again." She looks at me with bright eyes.

"You mean.-"She says softly.

"Yes." I match her tone. "I'm going to tell my mom…today." I say more firmly. "I woke up this morning and didn't see you on the couch and I was so scared that I lost you. And I can't." A single tear falls from her eye and I wipe it away."Baby, why are you crying?"

"For a minute there it felt like I was going to lose you before you told your mother the truth." She lies against my chest and I wrap her up in my arms.

"No baby, I would be a fool to let that happen." She looks up at me."I would of texted you sooner today but I thought it would be best for us both to have a moment to breathe." She leans in to give me a sweet kiss which becomes passionate and hungry.

She pushes me back and starts to straddle me. I lose myself in her kiss and I know this is the right decision.

She stops kissing me and I miss her lips already. She hovers over me looking into my eyes lovingly as she caresses my cheek with her knuckles. I haven't seen her look at me like this since mother came.

"I'm so glad were not bringing in the new year with all the lies, secrets, and heartbreak." She whispers the last part before continuing to slide her knuckle down my face.

"Me too." I smile at her brightly.

"Tomorrow is a whole new year filled with new beginning and promise." Another single tear escapes her eyes but this time it's a happy one.

I kiss her knuckles and she leans down to capture my lips again. She kisses the tip of my nose then both of my eyelids one at a time before kissing my lips again which I deepen. I pull her back on top of me and I feel her knee rubbing against my pussy lips that sets my whole body on fire. I unzip her dress scratching my nails up and down her back.

She starts to grind her knee harder into me and my juices start to run down her leg. Were both moaning into each other lips and I feel my body start to float.

"So you are still a dyke?" Ashley lifts off me and we both give Debbie a death glare.

"You can leave." Ashley says tightening her jaw.

"I'm too bored to stay in my room." She yawns.

"Why don't you entertain yourself by brushing your teeth?" Ash covers her nose with the back of her hand. Debbie's face turns red as she starts to breathe hard. "You're a nasty hoe." Ash looks at me and I smile letting her know I'll let it slide this time. "I mean who wakes up and instead of washing their face and ass they come blowing they funky ass breath in people's face.

"Whatever." Debbie huffs and turns to walk away.

"Excuse me." Ashley stands up and calls to her. "I said you can leave."

Debbie looks confused and for the first time vulnerable. "That's what I'm doing."

"No. I mean you can get leave California." Ashley grabs Debbie by the elbow and guides her out the front door.

*Ashley*

"Ashley." Spence's runs after me with eyes of worry. I give her a soft kiss on the lips. "I'm not going to hurt her I promise. I'm just going to talk to her."

"Ok." She says still unsure.

I close the door behind me pushing Debbie by her arm.

"If you kick me out I will have tell mommy dearest about her daughter and her dyke girlfriend." She stumbles back when I step towards her.

I smirk. "What's your problem? I saw you checking me out since you got here. Yeah, it was gross to be checked out by you, but the point is you did it. You like girls. You always liked girls Debbie and maybe if you weren't such a bitch girls would like you back."

"Whatever." She crosses her arms over her chest and looks away from me."You don't know what I like."

"Yeah I do. That's why you hated Spencer because she always got the girl and you didn't."

"Whatever." She says with pain laced in her tone.

I step in her face."But seriously this shit you've been pulling threatening Spence with her sexuality to get her to give you her tickets, let you wear her favorite shirt, and sleep in the second room. Is all over, you hear me?" She swallows the lump in her throat. "I have seen things not even your worst nightmares consist of; I have done things that most can't stomach." I lick my lips before getting closer to her ear. "And now I have enough money to get rid of you and never see a day in jail, so you have ten minutes to grab your shit and leave. It's New Years Eve and I refuse to bring in the New Year… with you." I smirk. "I know you don't need time to brush your teeth with your nasty ass. I'll give you some money to be able to get on the next flight out." I turn around to walk away.

"Everyone thinks I'm the bad guy because I made Spencer do some shit she didn't want to. But honestly if she would have been herself I wouldn't have had any power. It's like she gave me the gun herself." She sucks her teeth.

"Spence is telling her mother today, so I suggest you keep your mouth shut because if you don't." I give a wicked smirk. "I'll make it that you'll never be able to tell another secret again."

"I wouldn't dream of telling mommy dearest. I never did. I knew it would be a relief if I did. Its hell hiding who she is and who she loves believe me I know. I'll never give her that peace. Ashley you better not get your hopes up too high or you're going to fall off of them because she'll never tell her mother about you." She laughs hysterically."She'll never tell her mother about anyone because she'll never tell her mother about her."

I narrow my eyes before opening the door never once taking my eyes off of her. She walks inside and grabs her bag. I grab my purse and hand her more than enough money for her to get a new flight.

"Bye Ashley. See you in Ohio Spence." She smirks at me before walking away.

I slam the door behind her and sit next to Spence replaying Debbie's words in my head.

Spence starts kissing me on my neck then nibbles on my ear. She notices I don't respond to the gesture and tilts her head to meet my eyes.

"Are you ok?" Spence asks me with a look of concern.

I slide both of my hands down my face. "Yeah." I clear my throat."Where did your mother go?"

"Oh, she went to her real Spa day."

"Oh." I say slowly looking off into the distance.

She places her hands on both sides of my face turning me to face her. "Baby...are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah." I give her a weak smile."I just need some air.

"Okay." She says worry evident in her voice.

I kiss her palms of before rubbing my finger down her cheek."Don't worry, I'll be back." She mouths 'ok' and I give her a small peck on the lips before getting up to leave.

I make my way to the roof leaning over the edge letting my tears hit the street.

"What if Debbie's right and she doesn't tell her mother. I love Spence but I can't be her secret anymore. I also can't be without her." I start to pace back and forth. "Why would I think she'll come clean now?" I stop walking and tap my purse against my hip." She seems genuine when she said she would. I'm just tripping. Ugh! I don't know." Grabbing my head with my hands and I feel my phone vibrate in my purse. I put my hands down and answer the phone.

'Hello?"

"Hola Chica. I hope you don't mind but I got your number from Chelse."

"Oh." I say faintly.

"Don't worry. I don't think after one decent conversation that we're best friends or anything, but… I wanted to check on you.

"Ok." I choke out.

"Ashley, are you ok? You sound like you have been crying."

I close my eyes and try to fight back tears. "I kick that bitch Debbie out and that fucking bitch swears Spence is not going to tell her mom. Spence says she will and I believe her. I want to believe her. I got to believe her." I spit out without taking a breath.

"Whoa slow down. I thought only Latinas and black girls talked fast." We both giggle. "You're changing the game over there."

"Shut up." A giggle through tears.

"You might have kicked Debbie out of your house but you won't be rid of her if you allow her to keep space in your head."

"You're right. I'm go get some well deserved alone time with the babe."

"God speed chica."

I hang up the phone and sit on the bench letting the wind crash against my skin. I close my eyes breathing slowly in and out trying to clear my mind from everything good and bad. From whom Spence and I were to who we are now to who we might be. That's the part that scares me, I don't know if they'll be an us after today. It all depends on if Spence tells her mom or not.

I open my eyes and I must have been up here for a while now because the cool breeze has become warm.

I walk down to the apartment and open my door to an angry Spencer.

"What's wrong babe?" I furrow my brows.

"Three almost four years I never thought I'd see the day." She's pacing now.

"See the day of what?"

"Of you cheating of me Ashley."

"Excuse me?"

"Who is Kelly?" She balls the napkin up and tosses it at me.

"You're going through my stuff?" Oh shit, I don't know why I said that?

"I was putting your things back in our room to show you I'm serious about telling my mom. I was all done with the other room and went to sit on the sofa where I noticed your clothes from last night. I picked them up to put them in the wash and that fell out your pants." She points to the napkin.

"I knew I should have thrown that away."

"What!?"

'"Wait, I didn't mean it like that."

"What did you mean Ashley?" She says my name with such disgust

"Spence babe, I was going to delete her number."

"Wait, delete her number? You saved it!" She screams leaving her mouth agape.

I squint one eye and twist my lips. "Yeah but after talking to Madison I realize I shouldn-"

"Wait, Madison the girl you don't like was the reason you were going to delete this girl's number. Nice to see your love for me wasn't reason enough not to take it."

"Spence I know I was wrong and I'm sorry. She just reminded me of the you I used to know and the more you were with your mother the less I saw that version of you."

"So I'm the reason you were cheating on me?"

"I'm not saying that and getting attention somewhere else was wrong, but I would never cheat on you."

She walks away from me shaking her head. "You told me you weren't going to keep anything else from me.

"Spence I promise I was going to tell you about her, but I was so happy when you decided to tell your mom I forgot about the girl. Babe you have to believe me when I say she has nothing on you."

She starts to cry and I try to reach for her but she pulls back.

"Don't touch me. Is that why you ran outside earlier…to talk to her?" her voice fails her.

"No babe of course not." I wave my hands 'no'.

My phone buzzes in my purse and my heart stops.

"Who is that?"

"Huh?"

" Is that her?"

"Ummm."

"You're a poet Ashley! Words are your life, so I can't believe you're at a loss for them right now."

She grabs my purse taking the phone out in the process. "Second set of blues." She looks at me and shakes her head."Really? So you're trying to replace me? I can't believe you." She clicks the text. "Hey, sexy just want you to know I've been thinking about you nonstop since yesterday." She finishes reading the text and tosses the phone at me.

"I know this looks bad but." Damn I got nothing.

"I can't believe I was going to tell my mom about us."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold up?" I narrow my eyes and she turns to face me."What do you mean was?"

"I'm not going to risk losing my mother when I already lost you."

"You haven't los-"

"Ugh!" She throws her hands in the air. "I wouldn't even be going through this if it wasn't for loving you."

My eyes widen and I feel myself getting hot."Come again?"

"Every other girl was fine with being a secret but you had to be difficult."

I grab her by her arms making her stop pacing in order to face me."I been your secret for three almost four years because I love you and the love I have for you is the reason I can't continue to pretend like you're not mine.

"Your love is the reason this all is happening." She spits.

I let go of her arms and bite down on my lip violently."What?" I whisper shaking my head. "Are you saying my love is the problem?"

"Ashley I'm saying loving you is the problem." She screams.

"Fuck this shit!" I go to walk out until I hear her say.

"Profanity is an ignorant mind trying to express itself, so say what you mean and mean what you say."

"You can't be fucking serious?" I walk up to her until I am so close are nose are touching. "Some words are necessary to expresses how disgusting and broken you feel inside. This isn't bad, messed up, or terrible. No babe, this is shit! The way it rolls off your tongue as if it leaves a bad taste in your mouth kind of shit. The kind of shit that feels as if you stepped in it by just hearing it kind of shit." I shake my head. "You try so hard to cover up your fear of your mom behind you theories and books… well fuck that shit. You can have it and you don't have to worry about loving me." I turn around to walk to the door and fling it open.

"You are so envious of the relationship between me and my mom. Yeah, it may be messed up but at least there is one. Oh and you think your mother doesn't control you…please. Ashley you always talk about 'all she ever cared about were her things' well you're just like her. You feel like nothing more than the labels you wear." Her words shoot into my back like darts that tear into me.

I turn around to face her with so much range. "That's not true." My voice fails me as it cracks apart with every word.

She walks up to grabbing my phone from my hand."Really Ashley? You have a custom Prada 24 karat diamond encrusted phone case. You had Apple build it into the phone." She tosses it at me.

"You're just as messed up as I am." She walks away.

"I guess we're prefect for each other." I tighten my jaw.

She turns to face me."I guess we are." Her chest raises and falls.

I look her up and down."Then again…maybe were not." I turn around to walk out.

I look at the vase with Spencer daily Birds of Paradise on the kitchen table. I grab it and fling it at the top cabinet.

*Spencer*

I watch the water splash against the cabinet as the flowers and shattered pieces scatter on the floor. It's like watching me and Ashley scatter in front of me. I stood there after hearing the door slam thinking she'll come back. My heart starts to beat hard against my chest and my knees become weak. I knew this time it was different this time she's not coming back. I run out the door tripping over her heels on the way out. She must have thrown them off when she ran out. I continue to run down the stairs barefooted and out the gate in enough time to see her pulling away from the apartment.

"Ashley!" I scream her name with all the strength in me.

"Ashley!" My voice begins to crack from the strain.

"Ashley!" I start to cough from my now dry throat.

"Ashley." I cry out her name and fall to my knees on the curve at the side of the road. I lie there looking at the sun letting my tears mix with the ray of light. I feel my eyes begin to sting from the exposure but I don't dare look away because I feel I deserve it. I lay there crying out her name.

I never thought it would hurt this bad. I honestly never thought when it came to Ashley hurt would exist.

I don't know how long I've been laying here. My throat is so dry I cough every time I squeeze out Ashley's name. My skin feels so hot and everything is spinning.

"Oh my God Spencer!"

"Ashley?" I breathe out.

"We have to get you inside. How long have you been lying here?" She picks me up with ease carrying me into the apartment.

"Ashley?" I whisper.

She lays me on the sofa before feeling my forehead. "Spencer you're burning up. I'm going to get you some water."

"Ashley?" I cough out.

She lifts my head and lays it on her lap. "Here honeys drink this." She props me up a little to help me drink the water.

"Ashley?" I whimper.

She touches my face. "No honey, its mom. What happened with Ashley?"

"Ashley's gone." I start to cry hysterically.

"Shhh, shhh, it's ok Spence." She takes the water from my hand and places it on the table. She lets me cry into her lap as she rubs my hair.

I lift up from the sofa thinking it was all a dream. I clear my throat that has become really dry. I see the water on the table and drink it down.

"You're awake?" I look at my mother standing by the couch with her suitcase.

"Yeah." I furrow my brows. "What are you doing? You don't leave until tomorrow"

"I thought I'd pack our things since Ashley's is gone. I know you can't make ren-"

"What? Ashley's gone?"

"Yes honey, remember you told me she was gone before you cried yourself to sleep."

I tangle my fingers through my hair and shake my head. "No, no, that can't be. It wasn't a dream?" I whisper.

"I figure you were so upset about her leaving because you wouldn't be able to survive on your own."

"You're right I won't be able to survive without her. I'm not going back with you."

"But you just said.-"

"I won't be able to make it without Ashley but not financially…emotionally." I sit up.

"You have other friends such as Debbie." She takes the seat next to me.

"Debbie is not my friend mom! She never has been."

"Well you'll make new ones."

"Ashley is not just my friend mom."

"I know she's your roommate…excuse me, was your roommate. Sorry."

"No! You don't get it." I halfway scream. I pause and breathe before starting again. "Ashley isn't just my friend or my roommate. She's my lover, my life, my everything. I can't survive without her because I love her. But that doesn't matter because I might have ran her into the arms of another woman." I choke out the last part.

She goes to open her mouth but I cut her off to run to the restroom and throw up.

* * *

**A/N: So0o0o0? **

**FOF**

Palexiot: Interesting screen name. Kind of like it. :) Thank you so much for your thoughts and frustration shows you but some energy into my story. Glad to have you here.

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Yobeel: I love how you put Prada shoe in your example. I see you been paying attention:).

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